My thoughts on the Humbled Female introduction:
I don’t feel it’s sustainable… if it is a ROLE, not coming from your being, I don’t think it can work. I think a shared respect for the individual attributes each partner brings is what “works”.
This almost SETS UP a power struggle. To me it’s about surrendering to the fullness of all that IS between two people to allow that which is born from their UNION to be the crowning achievement. Not that one dominates and one is submissive… that makes it about something else… conquering something maybe?
I can see how that would be fun. I am turned on by the idea of a strong man being the authority in the bedroom, but if it’s not the core of who he is, if it’s an act, a way to siphon or wrangle respect (which men desperately need and deserve) out of a woman, then eventually the well runs dry.
I played this game with Michael for a year or two and it was just that… a game. It was a counterfeit of the real possibility that can be experienced between people in DIVINE UNION. (<—because that’s what I’m focusing on now… this does not apply to a more casual relationship, which is what most people are happy with now… but I’m looking at it from the standpoint of HUMANITY and as a prototype for the divine blueprint.)
Chapter 2
Note, I feel the sexual energy… the slippery oozy cummy energy all over this book and have tapped into it a little with Paul (I get wet talking to him). I want to feel this and understand it. This is what we signed up for. This is why I had a dream last night about the giant penis statue, and why my random was “genital plugs” and led to a “mission briefing on the NRG” which was so much about the sexual misery programming.
Can I look at this without getting sucked in? I’m pretty safe in NC from Alaska…
I think Paul’s soul wants to heal this and find the truth in it too.
Is he willing to go beyond that? To experience all that he would get out of that kind of relationship and MORE? Feels like he’s being set up for it.
Is this intensity the alien love bite? Or is it what we are supposed to feel when we are near a kindred spirit and beloved? Joe and I just wanted to be together immediately when we recognized our connection and I think that’s what it’s like for Paul and I. I think he is my monadic or avatar partner IF he is willing to go beyond his expectations. Is he willing to do the work? I am.
Having to hold myself back from masterbating. GAH. What do do with this energy?? What is it? FEEL INTO IT.
Reading his “commander” personality goes along with this.
I could leave this in Alaska, but there’s something to it… something to learn or is it really that he’s my partner? God. Please help me. The hero/savior comes up because it wants to help him to soften… but GOD is helping him soften. The Sexual Misery programming has come up from the getgo… timelines associated with that. This is what we are collapsing. I AM collapsing with HIS HELP. I love him. <—stop that. Do I? What is this? ALB? Probably. Is it tinny? Is it powerful? Remember when Tyrone started talking to me that “commanding presence” was so POWERFUL and drew me in. Was that a Thothian signature? Don’t fear.
OH MAN, so glad to be reading this ENTJ thing… (Michael and Le’Anna are INTJ)… yeah… Paul wouldn’t tolerate me and my mess and flitting around….
Our personalities:
Paul: https://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality
Carissa: https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality
You think it’s the health thing that brought us together but it’s the Sexual Misery program … we’re going to heal it (to the extent we can)… it’s big for both of us.
There’s a very real possibility we will not be attracted to one another. Mostly you won’t be attracted to me. I’m still overweight. I’ve been taking better and better care of myself for 5 years but even before that I wasn’t bad… I exercised and ate well… I’ve been conscious about it since 2010… but because my detox pathways are jacked up and I believe stored fat is related to stored trauma, it just won’t let go. It will. But I need to LOVE IT instead of rejecting and hating it the way I have. So anyway… there’s that. YOU look a lot like the people I’m attracted too… a mixture of all of my husbands really. But you are very handsome and it’s all about energy for me anyway. That can be a trickster too… so we have to properly feel into it and I’ll have to do lots of spiritual clearings. If we are meant to be together there will be LOTS of interference and attacks on it from the spiritual realms.
An article to read: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Gender_Principle
This (humbled females) is such a good article and I agree with a lot of it… I see the programming that is being used to destroy masculinity (and true femininity). This is my passion. One of my “big burritos” that I’m here to work with as a polarity integrator. I care very much about this topic. VERY MUCH.
But I can’t say that I think that this mindset is THE WAY… I think it will look different for different people.
I’m not normal. I won’t fit into anyone’s preconceived ideas of what a woman (or human) should do or be… I will be stifled. I need to foster my own inherent spirit to help it to embody and grow within me so I can anchor a frequency that I was meant to anchor. If I’m playing a role, I can’t do that. This feels like a call to play a role. Do you feel that?
Don’t you just want to be who you ARE? From what I discern and am hearing, you are strong, virile, intelligent, opinionated, disciplined, thoughtful, and more. I think a heart-based woman who is trying to honor you for who you are and who you want to be, is the key. The difference is that “dark mother”/reversal feminine wants to change you… it wants to cut you down so that SHE can feel stronger…. This reversal is borne out of feeling neglected and not honored for HER gifts. If she was suppressed and not able to express who SHE IS, then her outlet is this nasty energy. This starts pitting people against each other.
We have a lot of old wounds and traumas where our parents have hurt us and other people have hurt us and resentments that have created how we view the world and the opposite sex. (And to take it back further, we may also be healing ancestral traumas that are stored in our DNA….but I don’t even need that point because the trauma we’ve amassed during THIS life is enough.) It takes tremendous commitment, humility, forgiveness, and love to be willing to chip away at this stuff with and for your partner.
We heal each other in/through love and acceptance.
“I accept myself/you in this moment just the way I am/you are.”
THIS has been my theme song this year (just came on): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IBFMkt9KGQ
WHY have sex? Men have an urge from whatever reason (I think the location of the genitals outside the body and rubbing on clothes etc enhances it)… but women respond to that urge. When we are desired, it turns us on. There is a physiological response. Now if the woman isn’t comfortable for whatever reason, she won’t respond and that sets everyone up for a terrible experience. How do you keep it beautiful and about unity? I don’t know. But I have felt raped by the people that I was giving myself to because I would just be like “go ahead, take it” and it just didn’t feel right. I have also had to work with ancestral rape trauma etc and I think this is part of my job to collapse these timelines through compassionate witnessing.
This is my reality … to be willing (when called) to peel back the layers of pain and trauma and suffering to transit the pieces of people’s souls that have been trapped in black consciousness ooze/miasma. I yearn for a partner to do that with, but it’s not easy work. It takes continual surrender of ego and dependence on the higher power or source of all to guide me…. And I don’t do it often. I do lots of processing.
You can’t just DEMAND that someone submit. It’s got to be a natural response if you want it to be legit. And if you create an environment where your partner feels SAFE and wants to give herself to you, then you can build a beautiful foundation. The problem is that we start off with expectations and trying to meet people’s expectations from a place of inauthenticity… I’m not saying this applies to you, but it does to me… I would want to please you. I'd want you to like me, so I wouldl compromise my soul to gain your approval, but that’s not sustainable.
So we have to start at authenticity. NEVER compromising our souls. Instead ACCEPTING what is in the moment fully and allowing it to fully express so that it can move through. That’s the ticket.
There are so many layers to unpack.
Well I just asked Michael about it and I am a prideful woman…self centered and make everything all about me. This is the opposite of what you are looking for. So there you have it. I, of course, don’t want to be that way, but if that’s how he perceives me, it is true to an extent. I DO know that I have been working tirelessly to evict the lunar and FKOT forces out of my being so that I can embody the SOLAR/organic divine feminine I AM.
But I definitely TRIED to live this way 5 years ago and it failed… or it launched me into a new level of awakening.
I have the opportunity to live like this now with Michael… but I don’t feel it. So that should tell you something too. It just has grated against my soul and felt like I was having sex with my father ….grandfather… and it has been terrible.
He is the kindest man.
I’m a mess.
God this is crazy work tonight… I’m grateful for it.
I wished for a younger version of Michael (in a way), and Paul looks like him a little but also has the attributes of wanting to transcend the consciousness traps and sees beyond the veil and THAT is what I like. Also it feels so aligned. But I ONLY want to be with my DIVINE UNION partner… the one that when we make love we can heal the world.
But Paul wants to be healthy with me too… OMG, he’s so appealing in every way, but I don’t want to blow him up or let him down. I have yearned for that strong energy before and then blown it up.
The rape fantasies are a trick to nail trauma in further. But the natural animal instinct is how we were created.
But it was also hard that Michael wasn’t hard… and he just couldn’t get a good sex angle… it was awkward and disconnected.
Whoooooooooo…. I finished it.
It was like a rollercoaster. Lots of points I agree with, but I can’t say I am on board with all of it. Mostly because I can speak from experience and know that it doesn’t work so well unless it flows from a natural response.
Let me drop this in my journal and then I’ll see if I can clean it up to respond to Paul.
____
00:00/29
What I actually shared with him:
Whooooooo. I finished it. It was like a rollercoaster! I feel like I did lots of good spiritual/inner work as I processed through it.... let me see if I can pair down my notes to give you my honest reaction. I surrender any need to be anything other than what I am. In the past I would try to sugar coat (manipulate) my response in a way to try to give you what I percieved you wanted to hear, but I don't want to do that anymore. My prayer is to embody the truth vibration. So...
Carissa Wages, [Oct 28, 2021 at 11:58:36 PM]:
I don’t feel it’s sustainable… if it is a ROLE, not coming from your being, I don’t think it can work. I think a shared respect for the individual attributes each partner brings is what “works”.
This almost SETS UP a power struggle. To me it’s about surrendering to the fullness of all that IS between two people to allow that which is born from their UNION to be the crowning achievement. Not that one dominates and one is submissive… that makes it about something else… conquering something maybe?
I can see how that would be fun. I am turned on by the idea of a strong man being the authority in the bedroom (and oversight and leadership in life in general), but if it’s not the core of who he is, if it’s an act, a way to siphon or wrangle respect (which men desperately need and deserve) out of a woman, then eventually the well runs dry.
I played this game with Michael for a year or two and it was just that… a game…a role play. It was a counterfeit of the real possibility that can be experienced between people in DIVINE UNION. (<—because that’s what I’m focusing on now… this does not apply to a more casual relationship, which is what most people are happy with now… but I’m looking at it from the standpoint of HUMANITY and as a prototype for the divine blueprint.)
I sense your soul wants to heal this / find the truth in it too.
This really is such a good article and I agree with a lot of it… I see the programming that is being used to destroy masculinity (and true femininity). This is my passion and one of my “big burritos” that I’m here to work with as a polarity integrator. I care very much about this topic. VERY MUCH.
But I can’t say that I think that this mindset is THE WAY… I think it will look different for different people.
I'm not “normal". I won’t fit into anyone’s preconceived ideas of what a woman (or human) should do or be… I would be stifled. I need to foster my own inherent spirit to help it to embody and grow so I can anchor a frequency that I was meant to anchor. If I’m playing a role, I can’t do that. This feels like a call to play a role. Do you feel that?
Don’t you just want to be who you ARE? From what I discern and am hearing, you are strong, virile, intelligent, opinionated, disciplined, thoughtful, and more. I think a heart-based woman who is trying to honor you for who you are and who you want to be, is the key. The difference is that “dark mother”/reversal feminine wants to change you… it wants to cut you down so that SHE can feel stronger…. This reversal is borne out of feeling neglected and not honored for HER gifts. If she was suppressed and not able to express who SHE IS, then her outlet is this nasty energy. This starts pitting people against each other.
We have a lot of old wounds and traumas where our parents have hurt us and other people have hurt us and resentments have created how we view the world and the opposite sex. (And to take it back further, we may also be healing ancestral traumas that are stored in our DNA….but I don’t even need that point because the trauma we’ve amassed during THIS life is enough.) It takes tremendous commitment, humility, forgiveness, and love to be willing to chip away at this stuff with and for your partner.
We heal each other in/through love and acceptance.
“I accept myself/you in this moment just the way I am/you are.”
“I am on your side” (We’re On Time)
Side note, this has been my theme song this year (just came on): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IBFMkt9KGQ
It feels like submission is a natural female response to a protective and safe man. Trying to get there through the mind doesn’t feel authentic and I tried to live like this … but unless the core wounds are addressed it falls apart eventually. It’s just a facade or, like I said before, a role. A mask. “Fake it til you make it” doesn’t work so well here.
I believe couples have to start with radical authenticity and truth. NEVER compromising their souls. Instead ACCEPTING what is in the moment fully and allowing it to fully express so that it can move through. That’s the ticket.
Carissa Wages, [Oct 28, 2021 at 11:58:36 PM]:
There are so many layers to unpack.
I loved it. Thank you for the experience. I’m sorry I didn’t do cartwheels and say I was 100% aligned, but this topic is very near and dear to my heart and something I work with regularly. It’s part of my polarity integration contract. I’ve lived as both a masochist and as a feminist, a lesbian and heterosexual, more masculine and more feminine… I think part of my job is to feel into all these things and integrate them. There is so much distortion in the earth. I think you sense that and have an honorable desire to live in alignment with our nature (at the core of our beings before the distortions and reversals)... I respect that so much and feel your strong and powerful energy, Paul.
An article for you to read if you feel like it: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Gender_Principle
____
(Before I wrote that to him he sent me a "Map of Consciousness" by Hawkins!!! Ahhhh! He feels so aligned. God!! What is going on?)
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