Hermes

Got this again. Let's read it now. Feels resonant.

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Egyptian_Priest_Hermes

Last time I read it I thought I was maybe a part of the Priest Hermes gestalt... and now I'm thinking maybe I'm here to help HEAL that. As Diana said, I'm NOT that... I don't need to see myself intwined AS it... I am just hugging and holding it and loving it to healing and restoration. So this is why I have to observe and learn and love... but stay out of mental body... with stuff like Sophia and Kirk... this Thothian healing. But the trick is to not get pulled down into it.

Okay, going to read it now...

Although he was the great Luciferian imposter, he was passing off Essene Christos Templar sacred sciences as his own genius, and as a result it appeared to the unaware people of Egypt that he was truly bestowed with the blessings of the Gods.

Hmmmm... this kind of makes me think of Kirk. What he's doing. Don't fall into that trap.

The Thoth identity has not entered or travelled in the God Worlds, but has achieved immortality in the lower dimensions through the use of spiritual alchemy and by taking human beings Loosh energy from Blood Sacrifices.

Take note of this.

These records were accessed and translated by Thoth’s Egyptian Priest incarnations for the purpose of gaining control over humanity and the earth, and then subsequently repackaging these writings in a later timeline through the release of the Emerald Tablets. These are the counterfeit works of Thoth representing himself as the Emerald Order, taking his position as the False Father God, and acting as the imposter author of the content within the Emerald Founder Records

Ack! False Emerald Records! I thought those were the "correct" akashic records... oh, the Emerald Founder Records are the correct ones.

Thoth is a master of using truth in order to tell lies, which is a primary feature of Luciferianism.^[1]

This right here is the key... and so much of what I'm healing... it's part of the "gaslighting"... I saw myself doing it to Michael the other day again. I'm under stress and not getting the space that I need to stay in the flow and so I'm falling back into my pain body and allowing distortions. I do not consent! I AM GSF!!!

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My note to Charlotte about how I am (in preparation for our session next Monday):

Hi Charlotte,

I’m SO looking forward to our session next Monday! 

Everything is always changing so fast so I hate to commit to a “how I am", but here’s a snapshot:

Overall I have been very distracted by overwhelm from 3D responsibilities. New job function (hiring) on top of current heightened responsibilities (with communications, design, etc.) as we are opening a new restaurant location. I am used to “working” no more than a few hours a day and now I’ve been going literally all day - 10 hours. It’s an opportunity to set boundaries and practice balance. 

Also, I fell off the “wagon” … I can’t remember if I was 100% with no sugar or dairy but in mid-to-late September I had my birthday and went along with the cake and pizza. When I start eating sugar, it’s hard to stop and have been eating sugar in some capacity until this week. Really trying to observe the addiction program and how that runs in me. 

Physical - today, mostly okay. A couple rashes on left breast. Yesterday and maybe it was the day before I was significantly beamed in the head. They were different… one came through the left side and into the right hemisphere. One came from … actually I forgot now. Oh, and last week a different kind of beam which I swear came from the water tower as we were walking by it (maybe there is a 5G tower on there?)… I covered the back of my neck and kept walking and praying, but it is very uncomfortable and frightening. My lower back and sacrum hurt SOOOOO bad again last week for a few (3?) days. I went to the chiro which maybe was supportive but it still hurt for another day or so. My chiropractor has been saying my frontal lobe is weak or offline or something. She’s been doing a lot of laser on my brain and vagus nerve and to support my adrenals. My adrenals have not been great. Up and down. A few days ago I had a right shoulder painful day. Also my hips and legs…where they attach, have been sore. Right hip especially today. My lower legs feel like they are wearing those old “leg warmers” from the 80’s…. this has been going on for a few months and feels related to grounding mechanism/pathways opening. Sometimes shooting pains in my left side… spleen? Crux implants? 

Mental - I am about to schism with the responsibility of trying to communicate and commit to this. I just don’t know. Sometimes I’m okay, sometimes I struggle. The overwhelm doesn’t help. I need more space for processing and I don’t have it.

 

Emotional - Same. Yesterday I was really in my pain body. In general with the overwhelm and stress from work responsibilities which have caused me to not have the time and care for my spiritual practices. I’m not sleeping well due to what feels like planetary shifts, it just sets me up for failure. We are in a time now where I am called to…and MUST…. release density (by taking time to feel into what is here for witnessing) otherwise I get really clogged up and have problems.

Spiritual- Touched on it above. Haven’t felt that I had the margin to do much in terms of interacting with the ES or OL group field. I feel that I have a lot that I am integrating and working with and that so much of this is about anchoring these energies and lessons in my 3D container, Carissa’s life. The choices I make and how I live are what matters…how I infuse energy into the architecture at this level. I do have some people/influences/relationships that I’m not sure if they are distractions or part of my assignment. Thothian influences especially. Feels like part of my assignment.

Feeling good where I am with my friendship with Michael, my ex-husband/roommate who I love dearly and platonically. I think we are really making waves with the Family of Michael healing. Last week processing the prostitution archetype having to do with the feminine feeling like she owes the masculine (because of patriarchal domination entitlement issues) for caring for her. She has to learn to be okay and not feel guilty and not feel like it’s her responsibility to anticipate and meet his needs for him (like part of her “job”). A relationship in unity is one where the outflow of love naturally leads to caring for one another’s needs as you are one. For me, I’ve been processing Michael’s desire for sexual favors … he may want it because he feels like he’s entitled since he brings more money in, but I don’t want to. My body doesn’t want to. I’ve been celibate for 2 years now and I don’t want to break it to compromise myself because of fear of losing my security.  We had agreed in April (and were both content in the ambiguous holding pattern) that he didn’t think I was the right fit for him but now he seems to want to be married again. Anyway, I need to come into understanding and truth and honor my own feelings and surrender comfort implants. <--I want to be clear that it's not him pushing this, it’s ME feeling guilty. And you talked in our last session about finding the source of the guilt and pulling the string to see where it goes. Prostitution. Unfair value exchange. Total breakdown of societal and family structures. Not living in alignment with Source. Not living in true partnership and union. There are so many pieces to this. 

I did just sign up for a mineral-nutritional balancing practitioner program. I have zero time to start it now, but I committed and we’ll see how this manifests. I think the time is upon us where I am actually going to make a dent/headway in this “how I feed my body” business. Maybe the idea of caring for my body as her parent will truly sink in enough to keep me from mind sliding into allowing damage (i.e. eating cake). I also think that in the future I may be able to help other people with their health as they look to recover from vaccine damage, etc. Healing pharmaceutical injury and heavy metal toxicity, etc. has been one of my projects for myself. 

I met up with KIRAN last month since our session - that was pretty neat! We met on Emerald Isle on the coast of North Carolina. Felt aligned and beautiful.

I’ve only been taking the adrenal and EMF and 5G homeopathy. Not confident about the others.

I paid attention to my poops much more. I have been doing coffee enemas every other day instead of every day and after my poop (if possible). I have had some relatively formed ones. Sometimes looser ones though. Feeling like maybe part of this is related to magnesium influence and probiotic influence. I think I need a good probiotic and I got a cheaper one which I think didn’t work as well. 

Sleep is never great. Sometimes really not much… but it’s okay. I just wake up a lot and it’s light. Last night I think I slept for a four hour chunk and it was amazing! I SHOULD go to bed earlier I think, but it doesn’t seem like there’s enough time in the day. Dreaming isn’t consistent… haven’t been great at writing them down. Here are a couple snippets:

Tornado formed and then nothing came of it.

Some half open tubes

Some bug-sized little powder blue friendly birds

A lady was purposely hitting our car with her car - just created dents

Rescuing a guy from a waterfall

Dreaming of/with friends/contacts from this plane.

Supplements …. Yes, still taking all that we went over. Added NAC to help with immunity and NAG per our last session space to support collagen/fascia.