Wounds of Christ

 This is SOOOO much what we are working with right now. ON POINT.

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Wounds_of_Christ

It was my AG pick just now. 

I also got the "Clearing the YHVH Matrix" for my meditation.

And my quote reminded me to be of service to others. 
And my affirmation reminded me that I AM THE COSMIC CHRIST.
And my "suggested for today" reminded me of being in "Observer Point" which is what I felt like I was in for Diana's Blanket of Light group. 

That whole Wounds of Christ article was relevant... even the black magic part. So much black magic, it feels like. 

That's the biggest divide between Michael and I, the YHVH Matrix. And also ... I can't remember if I told him this or not, I thought about it all day yesterday... it feels a little like he's holding a "Father figure" role in my life. The sexual part of our relationship doesn't feel aligned at all for me and I just don't see that coming online. Maybe. But I love our life and the security he provides... the love we have... the FAMILY we share. I just wonder if I could continue this loving relationship with him and still have God bring my divine partner into my life.

Shaul is on my mind now. I chatted with him on Telegram this morning (4-5am his time) and we might talk on the phone tonight when he gets out of work (11:30 my time). I guess I want to unpack this. I have such a boy-craziness problem. Obviously this is innocent. This man is here in my day in order to just swap whatever codes we have to swap, but my mind always wanders. It has wandered and wondered a few times over the past few years with him... something about him has me ask "is he the one?" I don't like that... the things I think about him (raging sex addict etc) are not in alignment with my being, but aren't we all healing sexual misery programming. And he seems to be on the same timeline as me. So we'll see. 

I have daydreamed about Jeff and Lior in the past. Kirk too. All the boys. Brad. Any boy I talk to. Just observe it dear one. 

On my walk this morning I wondered if Shaul is one of my stations of identity... like reallllly a brother or a chunk of me? Could be. We have synchronicities such as the YHVH Matrix (and getting out), our dogs teaching us about unconditional love and even the older female dog and younger male, and now this focus on minerals and healing. Just let it unfold. Just love him. Be authentic. 2:48

When I connect with anyone, it is a connection in the earth grids. Pretty neat. Just do it in love. Without mind. Just heart. 

So we'll see.

Yesterday was Michael's birthday. I love that man so much. I just can't lead him on and call him my husband. He's not. He's my partner. My beloved. But not my husband. 

The most important thing is that I learn to be aligned to my own soul. To listen to my heart and follow it no matter what other's expectations are. No more of this shapeshifting business.

___

I will only make love and be one with a beloved... one that is ON MISSION with me.
I need to get over the "boy craziness". It's because it's a snapshot of what I'm meant to do... I am meant to unify in HGU within... looking for my OWN partner WITHIN. THENNNNNN I may be called to protype and HOLD the HGU field with a like-hearted soul. 

I CANNOT COMPROMISE for "comfort implants". I LOVE MICHAEL and we are IN THIS TOGETHER NOW. We love eachother and are sharing a family and life...but the line is my body. This is a GIFT for me. This LIFE and love and his influence is a GIFT. Our family is a GIFT. I do not take it for granted. I just must become and remain aligned to the TRUTH of my soul and that is that I want to be aligned with GOD and my divine partner will be revealed by God. NOT AI RED CUBE MESS that wants to suck me in. NOT ADDICTION MATRIX. NOT wanting to be liked by a boy.... none of that. 

HEAL ME.

Heal negative ego. 

Polarity Integration.

_____

God, thank you. My mind and heart are blown in awe and gratitude that you allow me to be a part of this mission and restoration and work. May I be humbled. May I be softened and supple and forgiving and not fall into...get out of the trap of...VV. I AM GSF. I AM TIMELESS AND ETERNAL AND FEARLESS AND LOVE.

Guide and direct me in all ways. Thank you God. I am honored and humbled. I am crying and snotting all over myself. Thank you God.