Breathe

Stresssssssed.
Hormones... copper... yeast/candida doesn't help.
Today we started our diet so I know we'll be feeling better soon.
Deep breathing. YOGA or QiGong please. Start doing some cardio and/or interval training. 

My anxiety causes me to feel insecure and I look to my partner for security and they "let me down" and I jump down their throats... I am a terror pick - pick - picking at them. Tearing them up to try to make me feel better - to "feed" my "pain body".... give my "ego" a "boost". It's MY sickness. I'm afraid. I don't let them "DO THEM".

"DO ME and LET PAUL BE."

I don't let him figure it out for himself - I try to tell him how to do it (whatever it is) and he resents that... he doesn't want to hear it in my "know it all" tone (which he hasn't said but I just realized it). THAT'S why I always feel like he's saying "f-you" back to me whenever I say anything.... it's MY energy. Know-it-all energy is yucky. I don't like it but I'm peddling it. I'm not being humble and gentle and encouraging... I'm brow-beating to try to accomplish what my know-it-all self thinks he SHOULD do. The "best" way. But who am I to say what HIS "best" way is. HIS soul is here to experience what IT wants to experience... who am I to try to "play the holy spirit"?? This is what I've always done and I'm being given another chance to overcome this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQTnREEtuNk
"Fear Is A Liar" by Zack Williams just came on. And that's exactly what's driving me again. The negatives. And fear. 

I'm so blessed. I have felt spirit tingles tonight - liquid light? Feeling upgrades.... inflow... is it displacing discordant energy? Am I brave enough to let it go? I want to.

Spica, Arcturus, and Sirius are all blinking rainbow light at me.

Eye of the Storm - I was reading about "Platonic Solids" tonight and thought of this song which just came on. Thank you God for being with me. 

Listen to Christian music... not anti-life music... it is so much better for my psyche. 
I saw 11:11 and 1:11 today.

It's 11:08 now.