Relate and Integrate

I relate!
Today's AG Pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Keepers_of_the_Blue_Flame

I'm either so rooted in the collective that I feel all of this or this is just my path... it all resonates... and look, this is what God is teaching me. So listen. And integrate.

I'm grateful to God who is helping me heal my negative ego and embody my divine sophianic consciousness. I accidentally got stuck in the "darkness at the heart of my love" (Ghost song) - I think this references the Anubian black heart metatronic reversals and I am here to heal them. 

I'm not going to talk about "satanic" vs. "krystic" anymore (I don't think)... I like "anti-life" vs. "life" or "organic living energy" or something. I think that Ghost, like humans, is a mixture of both "AL" and "L"...  am I willing to face, to look at, to feel, the shadow? the dark parts? The suffering?

Is this how we transcend, Buddha?

I think my main job here with Paul is overcoming co-dependency and learning to stand in my own energy and power and love. Along with that is all the lunar distortions and negative ego which fuel my insecurity. It is insecurity (disconnected root chakra?) that causes me to be tossed around by emotions and thoughts.... 

For me and my masculine consciousness, it's more "thoughts"... the analytical mind. This may be related to my sun sign.... Libra... "I analyze". But this "mind" (obsession) is no bueno... takes me out of the present.

Paul is all over the place too. We really are mirrors of each other. But I am reclaiming myself and choosing to heal. That's the goal and the plan and I"m working toward it! I haven't had outright sugar for maybe 4 days. Maybe 5? Since that very challenging night.... activations and/or black magic all night.... probably both. Remember the butterflies and the wasps? BOTH.

I think the "Travelers" TV show last year showed me what happened with Moses. I think that his N.D.E. led to him getting a new soul ... a rainbow dragon soul that is here to join the mission. I wonder if all N.D.E.'s...or many... work like that too? That's why it's like a new person that comes back?

10:43 Anyway. I need to just love Paul. He shaved last night just to try it for first time in 7 years and he looks FANNNNNTASTIC to me. He doesn't like it and is already growing it back in, but it looks super hot to me. 

I need to be done TRYING to make this into something. I just need to be authentic and honest with myself and try to do the right thing. To observe my negative ego and make choices aligned with LIFE and LOVE. If it's hard... if Paul's and my pain body get tangled, I need to just get some space to get some perspective. God's will be done. Paul needs to choose for HIMSELF whether he wants to follow his soul's path and what that looks like (or not). I can't do it for him. I can't try to make it easier. I can only do that which is aligned to my OWN heart. And that's the trick. That's why co-dependency takes me off. It takes my focus off MY heart and puts it on what Paul is doing and feeling. In a way he likes that...that is vampirism.... but he also DOESN'T like it. This is why I think we both have the Indigo3 polarity integrator templates - half narcissist, half empath. I think he's the same. But it's up to him to discover.

I just need to love myself and everyone else. Get familiar with the Law of One and put it to practice.