In response to: https://esfoundations.com/index.php/forum/psychic-self-defense/2988-wrestling-with-the-outer-demons-setting-the-terms-saying-no
I appreciate this article/post so much, bless you for sharing it now, thanks be to God. So much work to do. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face and torn between frustration and fear and hope and gratitude. I am demon-possessed… please don’t kick me out, I need this life-giving information and community so badly to heal myself, but I really am the one you write about… the dark portal, demon-possessed one who schemes to get what they want, feigning service to others, but really, it’s service to self because I’m so hungry for love… I want people to like me (that’s the root, I believe).
I’m healing myself… right? This is the watcher, the helper, here to Light the way to help me out of the dark cave of reversals and confusion and falsity. I’ve lived a lie. I don’t know who I am. I’m a shapeshifter. I’m not sure who I AM. This is the dismantling. I’m so grateful for it. It hurts. I love it though. And love you all. Thank you.
I’m sitting here with snot and tears all over my face and neck and sobbing… it’s really good… really healing… thank you for letting me share.
We don’t know. Those of us who are or have been demonically possessed, we don’t know. We think we’re operating in the light. We are TRYING. SO. HARD. But we instinctively know we are living a lie and we are constantly bombarded by shame, which we push down because we don’t understand it, so we are sitting on piles of suppressed emotion.
I got some tissues. Whew. That was intense.
Anyway, thank you for this beautiful container, space, information, healing haven, etc.
ps. Marc, I too am so sorry for your loss and that you now have to go through all this with your Aunt and family. It must feel very surreal. I’m glad you are the Watcher (and Wonderer :)). Bless you dear soul.
pss. I feel/know/have experienced both sides of all those energies and spirits listed. So much work to do…. It’s overwhelming. Now to figure out how to dismantle the demonic home for each of those stinkers. It seems like this article and many are written to help us protect ourselves from outside invaders… other demonic energies (people, places, things)… but I’ve got to convert it for my situation (“the call is coming from INSIDE the house”), which is hard. I think it’s just being diligent about shielding, clearing, meditation, watching/observing, surrendering, and doing the right thing to the best of my understanding and ability at any decision point.
I’m not sure how I got here. There’s a parable where when a house is cleaned of demons, that one demon goes out and gets 7 of his friends and comes back. I had what I feel to be a supernatural exorcism or clearing - possibly a walk-in from my future self - 10 years ago and everything changed. I lived a “mountain top” experience where I felt totally free and in the light and it was miraculous!! I mean I was CHANGED - suddenly no swearing, suddenly IN LOVE with the bible (it was my food), led by the voice of God which directed me to some amazing people and experiences and truths, etc…. But a few years later I was tied up again. Still had the Voice, though I had other ones too, and riddled by ego and trying desperately to control everything and everyone as my world collapsed around me. Well, I don’t know what happened. I guess it doesn’t matter. What matters is getting untangled now.
ESF has helped me so much this year. Bless you all for bearing with me. I am so grateful for you and this beautiful space!
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A few hours passed after I read and responded to this [fantastic and helpful] thread (and after the therapeutic release I had while processing it) and I just had a thought:
What if I’m NOT riddled with demons?
Where does this thought come from? What is true?
Frankly I’m not sure. So I need to just watch. And do the work.
_________
Demons: Imagine Dragons
Lifehouse's Everything
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