Cookies and Nerves

See how the cookie instantly causes left arm numbness? Inflammation. It's not good. Don't eat cookies, sugar, white flour (bisquick... those biscuits today!! Bryant made them with Bisquick, Sprite, and Sour Cream...soooo good.).... but this is making me sick. Meat and water. Try it.

Those were the best cookies in the world -  made with love by Caden - and a good "last hurrah". But this stuff makes me sick. I feel so much better and alive when I don't eat crap. Meat and water. Get back to that. Period.

Also Mama Bear called - I think that God sent her to balance out the ES group's advice yesterday to be by myself. I want God to lead... I just don't know. It's a spiritual war. They saw (through spirit) about the crumbs I was waiting for with Ryan... but the "crumbs" are so beautiful. He is a Phoenix... and this afternoon his tears for the people of Israel were so beautiful. And he is working so hard on my water shed. I love him. I want to love others too and I get to do that at work. But I am working on patience and myself in the context of our relationship. Yes, LOTs of "dark arts" training too... but this is where I want to be for now. "Taking it one day at a time" is darn good advice too... care of Mama Bear. She is on "Team Ryan". I am too. But I don't want to abandon "Team Carissa". I don't think they are mutually exclusive. 

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9/9:55 - feeling the black magic... clearing 

Ryan is, indeed, a dark portal. For NAA forces to try to distract and disarm me. He wants to tear me down and create division ... not him... the demons/forces working through him. I do not consent. I see you and invite you to use the shadow vortex to return to your source. Ryan is not yours. He is whole, full, light, and God. In the name of Christ I call him back to safety, peace, and wholeness. I do not consent to harm for or through him. We transit this back to it's source, we collapse it in the name of Christ. We are God, Sovereign, and Free. We are whole. Holy Mother, Holy Father, Holy Christ-Sophia, WE ARE.

9/11:09 
Good, lovely, inspiring conversation with Barinder. He is bringing something to my life to call me back to my heart. Sister Kelsey too. I feel confident she came by my side to hold space to do some black magic clearing. She popped in and we connected through Telegram. And after yesterday's session at the Round Table... I am feeling seen and supported. 

Also pooped. It's 9/11:11 Get to bed!