I really liked a man named Matt - he reminded me of Ryan, physically.
A dust devil came to the field and I saw it ... the mini-tornado... and it came over and swirled around us.
Ryan didn't come to see me today.
I wanted to see him.
I want to be held by him.
I want to be near him.
I wanted to see him.
I want to be held by him.
I want to be near him.
LET HIM GO.
Bean says it too... I don't have to wait while he gets his life together.
I think that it's interesting that I could be attracted to someone else (Matt) today... but it's also interesting that it's because he reminded me of Ryan in stature. But he was nice. He had beautiful eyes too. But he has a wife and kids. What was weird was that he said he "moved to Greenville to marry somebody"... he didn't say "my wife"... it made me think that it wasn't working out. But later he said something about his wife. He wasn't wearing a ring but many don't. I need to just love myself and fill myself and be enough for myself. And that's it.
I want to cry. It hurts me so much ... I feel rejection. But the truth is that I didn't want to go either.
Bean says it too... I don't have to wait while he gets his life together.
I think that it's interesting that I could be attracted to someone else (Matt) today... but it's also interesting that it's because he reminded me of Ryan in stature. But he was nice. He had beautiful eyes too. But he has a wife and kids. What was weird was that he said he "moved to Greenville to marry somebody"... he didn't say "my wife"... it made me think that it wasn't working out. But later he said something about his wife. He wasn't wearing a ring but many don't. I need to just love myself and fill myself and be enough for myself. And that's it.
I want to cry. It hurts me so much ... I feel rejection. But the truth is that I didn't want to go either.
Just called him to cheer him for honoring his boundaries.
And now I need to love myself. And go to bed. Maybe read or practice some self love.
Listened to a number of Kelly Brogan podcasts today which were on point. Thank you God.
Interesting that Paul is interested and aligned with David Icke... enjoying one of his books. I don't think that's the narrative that I'm interested in anymore though. The "victim" of the loosh-sucking negative aliens... I just don't want to see earth that way. I want to see it as a flower that can be opened through our conscious love and unity.
And I want to choose ME. Love myself and don't listen to Ryan's ill-thoughts of me. I love myself. And God loves me and WE ARE love. And I'll focus on that.
And now I need to love myself. And go to bed. Maybe read or practice some self love.
Listened to a number of Kelly Brogan podcasts today which were on point. Thank you God.
Interesting that Paul is interested and aligned with David Icke... enjoying one of his books. I don't think that's the narrative that I'm interested in anymore though. The "victim" of the loosh-sucking negative aliens... I just don't want to see earth that way. I want to see it as a flower that can be opened through our conscious love and unity.
And I want to choose ME. Love myself and don't listen to Ryan's ill-thoughts of me. I love myself. And God loves me and WE ARE love. And I'll focus on that.
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