Praying for God to work in his life…and mine… heal us and make us stronger and more whole and humble and better all around. May we meet our soul’s call. May we bifurcate to the highest level. May we become the best and most loving versions of ourselves.
Ryan doesn’t want me. He tried me and I wasn’t what he was looking for. He had to belittle me - “maybe you’ll find a faggot who will want you” etc… just like Paul said no one would want me. And maybe Tyrone… these are mean words that people say to try to hurt me…. And they do. But they aren’t true. And if they are true, then that’s okay too. God, please lead in my life. Please heal me. Please make me worthy of a good man who will see and love me well….that I can see and love well back.
In the meantime, help me to love myself well.
He left and I started leaving myself a voice journal note at 23:23 and the journal note was 23. Tonight when he called I saw 9:11...19:11 really... and I have peace. I witnessed him release some of his anger through words and make a decision that feels best to him.
I don't want to be friends with him. I want to move on. He doesn't see me or love me. He doesn't even like me.
I don't want to be friends with him. I want to move on. He doesn't see me or love me. He doesn't even like me.
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