Predator Consciousness

I wrote this post for ESF on February 8th but never sent it. I ended up having a divine conversation with Misha that I think helped clear this for now, but I did want to keep it documented here in my personal journal.

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This year (January-February 2024) I have been inundated with predator consciousness that lives in or through me. I don’t like it. It’s very hard to witness.

It wants to feed on or gaze on or think on sexual acts with everyone - including children. It wants to judge and size up and get eyefuls of people’s bodies.

I respond by turning away, trying to think of something else, saying I’m GSF, and observing this process.

Would it go away if I just give it what it wants? NO! That’s the hook, trick, addiction builder, cord maker, monster.

I have a monster living in/through me.

Strangely, I am echoing my sentiments and experience from early 2020. (I'll try to find the post.) Have I opened the door to let this beast back in or is another layer being peeled away? Whatever it is, I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable and feel bad and it doesn’t feel like me, but it’s using my body to try to experience what it wants (lust, I guess). I wonder if maybe it's an ancestral/genetic project that needs to be cleared from my bloodline that my soul signed up to work on? Whatever it is, I hate it. Feels better/safer to be in a female body while addressing this stuff, but it does feel to be a male mental body distortion. 

One of the previous ESF members wrote a book where she shared about how she could feel her father's predatory energy. I might be misquoting or misremembering, but I think this is the same thing that is trying to exist through my being. Is it from a hole in my lightbody? Is it coded in my genetics? 

I am weaker right now from:

1. Whatever is going on in the ethers... my consciousness feels to be split and off working on some other stuff somewhere. I'm not privvy to where it is, but I sense lots of warring and shadows in my field. I have also sensed a tremendous amount of liquid plasma light moving through my body which provides comfort and hope. Physical ascension or pathcutting symptoms are back in full-effect this year (after a reprive last year). 

2. Working with a challenging relationship (which I alluded to in my previous post) where I keep compromising myself, so that doesn't help. 

3. I interacted with a black magician in early January who I think could have triggered some of this creepy energy. I met a guy online last year through an astrology app and thought we would be friends like my ESF friends who discuss spiritual matters. Our conversation fizzled last fall when he was in Australia but for some reason in January while he was visiting his home in New Delhi, India he popped back up. (India! Interesting!) Anyway, within a couple days I saw that he was a sexual predator and cut it off, but before I did, it got its hooks in me for a few hours. Did that trigger this or is it just DRT timing for all this to be felt?

I can’t say for sure but I suspect I’m Ruby coded (inversions or organic, I don’t know) so all the Ruby stuff that is coming up may be related. I haven’t had the bandwidth to follow the narrative the way I used to, but it feels related.

There is a war over my consciousness and person. I am asking for Guardian support, guidance, protection, entity removal, restoration and anything else that is for the good of God/Christ/Unity/One (including lil ole me) that I don’t know to ask for.

Thank you for compassionately witnessing this mess. It's horrible and I look/sound like a horrible person, but I wonder how many people have this kind of energy that tortures them subconsciously and feeds their shame and keeps them hiding? I have to drag the darkness to the light so it can be seen. I have to call it out. I don't have to be ashamed because it's not me or mine - and truly it is a gift that I have the clarity to observe it.