Today

10:23 4:04 - yesterday a couple

Didn't have a TON of numbers yesterday but some for sure... and beginning to read codes into them.

Today I woke up and revoked consent for a bunch of things and now my daily AG pick was: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Law_of_Structure

SO GOOD!! 

Thank you God!

Today I plan to make "sauce".

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12:00 12:13 12:21 12:22 12:23 12:24

I'm reading so slowly through the newsletters but it's perfect. Right now on March 2013 and talking about ego and addictions. May they be cleared. 

14:44

Facebook stalking session of Tyrone... so heartbreaking... I see his brokenness but his ego is STRONG I guess... he has to surrender to God. It doesn't help to beg him. Anything I do doesn't help. 

God took him from me to teach me a lesson as well as to save me. He was so dark. I was the Light. I AM THE LIGHT THE LIGHT I AM... still. But he's a dark pit... but he can get better... we all can. I thought this was his life to do this but maybe it's not... who can say. 

FOCUS ON THE GOOD, Beloved... look at Michael and your beautiful life! God is with you and you are with God and we're HEALING! Thank you!! We are getting OUT of the Metatronic Pit of Doom. 

So interesting that Tyrone has/had the same problem with the aortic aneurism or something like that in the stomach area... that's what Charlotte saw and I trust my teams have healed. Tyrone had to go under the knife. 

Why do we have the same thing? We were both here to heal the BLACK HEART. We were supposed to work together on it. Now we're doing it separately and he's NOT WELL. And I can't "save" him. And I do not consent to continued cording to him. CUT and CANCEL all cords on every level... mental, emotional, physical, spiritual... etheric anti-particle... burn them all in the fire of GOD. 

I AM FREE of all influences ... collective, individual... I AM single-soul occupied by my SOURCE and do not consent to any other forces damaging my lightbody or being in any way! I AM GOD SOVEREIGN FREE... I AM CHRISTSOPHIA. 

111

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4:23

There is lots of unravelling and releasing of the Thothian-Luciferian trauma played out through the Tyrone drama in Carissa's life. I return it to God. I AM GSF. I stand free from all distortions, reversals, damages as the pure Light of God I AM. 

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5:11

Hawk & Shield & Isaiah 60

Have I mentioned how much HAWK has been around the last month or so? Definitely bringing me messages. 

Today TWICE one flew directly over my head...long flight too... felt very aligned.

https://whatismyspiritanimal.com/spirit-totem-power-animal-meanings/birds/hawk-symbolism-meaning/

Hawk is often a messenger from Angels, Devas, and the Divine. He signals a time in your life when you need to focus on what’s ahead and prepare for a leadership role. Your global vision is a potent helpmate in this. Just as the Hawk, you are ready to fly higher than ever before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4RkX33-8_4

Doing exploration session with Mykal in a half hour. Let's see. Went outside to meditate and saw the second hawk fly over and drop spirit upon me. God, please lead.

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13:33

Good talk with Mykal... I got a download on "shielding"... actually I got a bunch... right... BE HAPPY ... present... make the most of life... ENJOY it.

But on the shield, during the 1:00 ES meditation time I realized that my shielding practice... the 12D practice is all about fortifying my own aura and lightbody. It's about HEALING and FORTIFYING it... making it stronger and repairing any breeches. My visualization should be around MY ORGANIC ARCHITECTURE and blueprint which may be driven by the 12-Tree Grid Diamond Heart and Double Diamond Krystallah architecture... so visualisation around this may be very supportive. But the 12D shield which seems to be made from something else...trying to build something else around me ... that has just been really hard. Feels like swimming upstream. 

But today in the car thinking about strengthening my own lightbody...my own shield... this feels really good. And may it be connected into the organic KRYSTIC architecture ... into Holy Mother and Holy Father and ChristSophia... and corded... the umbilicus connected to the EARTH and to ANDROMEDA is fine too. 

I think this is recognizing my sovereignty in my own architecture too. I AM GOD SOVEREIGN AND FREE!

That said, I'm not sure Mykal is 100% aligned... maybe she is... maybe she's a star-sister like Misha and I ... we all have these black dragons AND aurora dragons... she does too. She works with the dragons. (And dragon-lines... that's apparently another word for "grids".) So we'll see. If I get a few extra bucks I'll go see her. She feels very similar to me. Even the organic "shamanic" elemental energy...

I guess I've been CALLING it "shamanic" and maybe need to stop. I think it's Sophianic earth energy...the divine feminine connection to the elementals that is coming through. 

__

I was called to do the "Gnostic Mass" meditation in the night last night while sleeping. Today reading https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Eukachrist... and realizing that all those Catholic (and related) churches are acting out and getting millions of people to reenact a blood sacrifice every Sunday! All the churches that worship the crucifixion (also a theme...these Crux implants are coming out... I'm feeling them on the left female side coming out now)... those churches are nailing in the SRA as we're trying to LIGHT it out (through consciousness). Wow. 

___

I've been thinking about going back to Michael ... giving my body to him to try to work this out... to practice. Obviously that is what God has in front of me... this relationship with him, so maybe I need to go at it wholeheartedly in order to heal whatever it is we need to heal.

BUT I just realized that it doesn't feel aligned with my soul. I can practice love and share life with him, but I don't need to unite with him in that way. He is not my divine beloved. My divine beloved and I will come together in HOLY union and it will help us both to be stronger and more aligned in Christ-Sophia. I need to be patient and wait for him. It will be worth it. 

Michael is the kindest most amazing blessed gift from God ever in my life... an absolute ANGEL and we can love eachother... but we must remain aligned to our souls and not compromise because it's easier... this is how we slowly strangle our souls. No. We're meant to love and care and serve one another and WE ARE healing one another in love. But God will make it clear when a divine union is meant to be. HG unions heal the world. Michael and I are healing each other... but there's more. 

Thank you God. This was a download when reading that Eukachrist article too.

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3:22 3:44 15:44

Wow... well I was #24... have I graduated from 23? The note I wrote had 111 characters. Lisa's "Law of One", the #1 post, well, I was the 23rd like. So that started my experience with this LIFE-GIVING video and then it ended with my post being #24. Feels aligned.

But I want to reiterate the MIRACLE of the bible chapters!! This is CRAZY!!

So I listened to the first half in the bathroom while doing my CE and it was so so powerful and beautiful....and then I felt I should go outside and I sat in my hammock for just a few breaths and looked at the stars and saw a triangle and then I felt that I was supposed to go in and look at the bible. So I did... I opened the bible (which I hadn't looked at in a month or two at least) and I opened it up and the first thing I saw was that underlined portion of Isaiah 59:21 which felt really lovely and supportive and then all of a sudden I realized that I had opened to Isaiah 60 and THAT was the message... given to me again... powerfully and miraculously and as a gift from God to remind me. LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE FOR ALL TO SEE!!!

That's the command. Whoa. I'm just noticing that now... the rest of the chapter FLOWS from this but I must be obedient to LETTING MY LIGHT SHINE... that's the key there. And that message was first given to me 1/16/2010 and now again on 8/29/2021. Other times I've gotten nudged about it, but this was a divine message again... 

Thank you GOD. 

Getting close to the Atomic Doorway?

Feeling very grateful for the activation... it may be uncomfortable and I may have to disengage with 3D a bit but I think we are stepping into the particle/antiparticle merge, thanks be to God.

Today I only got milisecond glimpses of 9:23 as it switched to 9:24 TWICE (two different clocks).

This was my AG pick today: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Atomic_Doorway

Last night the meditations I was led through in/for sleep state seem to be supporting this. Started with OL Core Soul Protection, then pulled OL Evening Energy Cleanse, then Ray and Ray Identity, then Mother Arc Integration. 

Last night I started not feeling well... transit? Chest pains. I had had numbness and severe EMF sensitivity in my hands all day. Left especially. Left arm numbness and nerve pain. This morning headache in frontal lobe of father side. 

I didn't know if yesterday was from breech of energy in Krystal Cathedral. We let Jim show our apartment again and now have to put the cabash on that. I'm sure he's mad, but with the state of the world we are in... people and their spike proteins and energetic parasites, we just don't need dark portal access to the best of our ability. 

Apparently there was higher than normal solar flare activity yesterday as well. And I attended my first live Omnilov3 Gathering chock full of interference so there could have been some integration or fallout from that. I got that roast beef sandwich I'd been thinking of for 2 months yesterday and ate half of it and wondered if something in that triggered it. Or it's just time for the upgrade... I see lots of 43-to-44's now... and it's a reminder we are stepping up. 

I get rocked now and then... which I understand is a part of changing timelines. Usually I'm rocked side-to-side, but last week I had a front-to-back rocking. I can't remember the AG article this is spoken about in. 

Took CDS this morning. And did OL Core Fear Removal last night ... and the Correct Magnetic Shift meditations... before the nighttime marathon, ha! 

Today I made an appointment to talk to a lady who practices Dolores Cannon hypnosis or something like that... Michelle saw her the other day and loved her. What she said piqued my interest and so I'm going to do a 30 minute exploratory session. I need to ask her about her shielding practices and understanding about negative entities that may want to influence or blow up the healing work we do.

Poor Kirk was in the mental hospital again this week. How can I help him, God? Just love him just the way he is.

____

2:33 7:33

 

Joy shame

I had a beautiful hour of voice memos and video messages with Diana ... I was not very together but very excited and happy to connect. Afterward I felt some shame come up and began writing a message to her about it but it's for my journal:

I have a lot of shame that just came up because I was acting like a child… hmmm… maybe this ISN’T bad. And maybe shame is the liar. Childlike joy and enthusiasm from connecting with a sister is not a bad thing at all. 

I was going to say I’m sorry for being so wild…but really it’s a good thing… just being my authentic imperfect excitable self is A.O.K and I know it is okay with you too. I WISH people saw me as “together” and “wise” and “kind”… but (12:12… it’s 12:12 now and I was listening to your message at 11:11)…. anyway… maybe sometimes I can be tapped into that, but sometimes I can be just the way I am.

12:13

I just got the cutest little mouse message from you!! What joy! Yes! See! THIS…authentic adorable is perfect. No need for anything but that… this is REAL connection. YES! 

Both of us have been in the business of crafting reality to try to manipulate people’s opinions… to make a message in order to evoke a thought, feeling, connection, something… now I don’t at ALL see any sort of that in you at all …ZERO satanic or Luciferian or dark mother or anything like that… but I am definitely trying to evict all that crap out of my being and want to call it out and think it’s helpful that you can understand it on a deeper level. 

I want to be more in control of myself in order to create the “image” to control other's perception. I have struggled with this in terms of being a spiritual leader as well (in different capacities way back when)… including other lives. The whole twilight master imposter spirit thing… this is all connected! 

THANK YOU for holding space for this. This is big. It’s ALL ABOUT AUTHENTICITY. And you modeled it and created space for me to feel into it. Now I’m kind of chewing on it mentally. And maybe I don’t even need to send this to you. It’s for me. 12:22

Yeah… journal this. 

Okay. 

BE. Don’t THINK.

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1,234.96 12:24

I would like to ask to be filled with the spirits of Christ, and that the spirits of the anti-Christ be evicted from my body, lightbody, being, home, land, family, and earth as a whole. I ask to be ONE in GOD while inhabiting and embodying this earth plane. I want to be filled with the spirit of God in Christ as LOVE. I ask for my negative ego and pain body - the mental, emotional, and physical distortions and damaged energy be replaced and connected to the organic living light of GOD. I want to be the embodiment of Christ and anchor the frequency of love, acceptance, kindness, generosity and humility (along with all the other spirits of christ) here on this plane. I want to be a part of the solution. I want to be a vessel unto HONOR and HEALING for the earth and all its inhabitants. 

_____

Here's the letter I sent my family today. Modified to take out scary video and items they could push back against... thanks to Corie's suggestions:

Begin forwarded message:

From: Carissa Wages <crwages@gmail.com>

Subject: Some thoughts

Date: August 27, 2021 at 8:40:15 AM EDT

To: Dad Wages <tawages@gmail.com>, Bobbie Wages <bwwages@gmail.com>, DrWages <drwages@gmail.com>, Corie & Jerry Phillips <coriewphillips@gmail.com>, Gerald Phillips <glphillipsjr@gmail.com>, Braden Wages <cbwages@gmail.com>, Yasmin Wages <ydwages@gmail.com>, Davin Wages <zreyt@yahoo.com>

Beloved family,
I know we have different opinions in regards to what we are seeing happening in the world. I do my best not to tap into the fear porn as much as possible and I have very little trust for any of the online or tell-a-vision resources due to the incomprehensible levels of censorship and mind-control programming. 

You all know that I don’t feel good about the covid vaccine. I’m sure you’ve seen the VAERS numbers tallying the adverse reactions. It is not my intention to be an alarmist and I believe we can take care of our bodies and heal any damage that’s been done. I would be honored to find resources to help you if you are interested. Certain supplements, protocols, and practices can help a whole lot. But even things you are already doing…things like time in nature (hiking with Pa), eating healthy and life-giving food (like Braden & Yasmin and Davin serve), positive thinking and visualization (like Mom does), doing things you care about and that help other people (like Page spends her time doing), pouring love into your kids (like Corie and Jerry do)…those are all amazing ways to heal your body, mind and soul! 

The main reason I am writing is because I want to encourage you to NOT take any “booster” shots... and for God’s sake, please don’t give these shots to the kids! 99% of people who contract the “virus” heal up just fine. I have seen some very disturbing information and interviews that leave me shaken and skeptical and want to encourage you to continue doing your own research outside of the traditional “channels” like the media and Google. 

I love you. I respect your choices. Many souls are consciously taking this path for whatever reason and if that’s you, I send blessings and love with you. But if you are following blindly or being mislead and I didn’t do my part to at least be sure you knew there was another way, then it falls on ME and I don’t want that. I came here to support the healing and reclamation of the earth (including all the precious souls that live here). 

I love you so much. I don’t believe in death and know that we will all transition to what’s next at some point. We came to the earth for such a time as this - it’s an honor to be here now and an honor to share in it with you. Each choice matters and I see each of you choosing love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness in your interactions with me and others and I appreciate it so much! We’re all going to be fine - there’s nothing to fear. We just have to choose the path our soul wants to take. So we just must do what is in alignment with our own souls. And that’s it. And if you have kids, if you can honor their soul’s choice, that would be excellent as well. Those kids have access to higher consciousness than us… they are in human bodies with the cravings of the flesh, learning how to drive these bodies the way we (still) are… but they are wise souls. 

Sending love. I’m here to support you in whatever way I can.
Love,
Cristy

ps. I am always available to discuss this or any other topic if you’d like to chat. I do not get upset or offended in any way to have differing views on things. My love for you is eternal and will never change. If you need to yell at me or argue…if that helps…. then I can do that. If you want to speak peacefully, I can do that. I’m up for anything. I am here to help in whatever way I can… it is my desire to meet you where you are at. 

I think it’s so good for us to think outside our box and talking to people with opposing views can help trigger us to think differently or understand something in a more robust way.  If you would prefer not to talk about it with me, there is an app called ‘Telegram' where you can find some alternate sources of information. I can recommend some channels there to look at if you’re interested. 

___ 

12:44 13:13 11:33 13:44 1:44 1:54 1:55 14:00 2:34 14:54 15:00 #13 3:23 

Shrapnel

Post:

Dear Melissa/MamaBear,
As I was reading my daily glossary pick I couldn’t help but think of what you shared.
ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Class_Struggles

So many moving and heartbreaking stories here. I was inspired by Benny & Laura's testimony:

"this complete lack of fear, unconditional love and high frequency vibration coming from our hearts seemed to keep the effects from touching us."

I can share that this week I also experienced something interesting and relatively unpleasant when my beloved friend/housemate returned after almost 2-weeks away in the Chicago area, most of it spent in a hospital setting (with his Mom) surrounded by vaccinated people. As soon as he got home it felt like we… the atmosphere, the dogs, and I… were sprayed with some sort of energetic parasites or AI. I could almost see them sprayed all through the air….it felt like they looked like a bunch of metal bolts or shrapnel or something. I can’t really explain it well because it’s on the periphery of my consciousness, but definitely felt like there was something that rode back in his field and exploded.

Physical symptoms: Besides being drained, Michael had red spots all over his body. The first day he was back I also had some flu-like symptoms (sore throat, headaches, body aches, tummy aches, anxiety, felt like fever, chills, etc). One of our dogs… maybe both, but especially one started scratching and really hasn’t stopped in the 3 days since and it seems like black magic as well as him working to transmute miasma. There are no physical bugs on him. Putting my hands on him, praying, provides some relief. We also gave both dogs MMS which they like and that seems to help.

An MMS bath (20 drops of activated MMS in the bath) seemed to really help Michael’s skin as well. We both also took CDS orally a couple times. Michael wants to take the Ivermectin horse paste too… I didn’t know if he should do that at the same time as the CDS and thought CDS worked just as well or better but he may still take the paste at some point.

Sending love to all who are holding strong (or not…) during this crazy time. So glad we have each other to share notes with…to encourage and inspire one another. So many beautiful souls here and I am grateful.

Love,
Carissa

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10:44 12:13 12:12 12:21 12:54

Planetary Spleen?

ES Journal Post:

Loved every drop of this month’s newsletter. I don’t have kids in this dimension but it was so enlightening and encouraging to read and I feel that it supported many levels of my soul.

I’m watching a trend that is surfacing these last couple days especially. I wonder if I live on (or near) the planetary spleen? (If anyone knows where this is and feels okay with sharing, please let me know!)

I’ve heard that where I live on the east coast is on the 7th planetary axiatonial line and I feel confirmation about that. This year I’ve had my left ring finger tingle a LOT… it’s a feeling that makes me feel for a ring there (I don’t have or wear a wedding ring anymore, but back in the day when I used to, I’d have this same kind of feeling when I wasn’t wearing it… just this activated sense of missing it… feeling for it and it wasn’t there). Not sure if that makes sense… but it’s happened a lot this year and I’ve wondered if it has to do with 7D or Sophia or my HG partner connection or what. It definitely feels like a consciousness activation of some sort.

Last night I pulled the “Wounds of Christ” meditation (which sister Laura mentioned she worked with the day before. I commented what an intense meditation that was and boom, I got it the next day)! Yesterday I started a new homeopathic remedy that I believe supports the circulatory system. Today my daily AG pick was “Blood” (again - got it a month or so ago).

I’ve thought for years that I am tied in to the planetary circulatory system and even mused about it here in my journal. A few years ago I asked an intuitive for help picking a crystal to support me and she said she’d never seen this before, but “bloodstone” came up.

I keep wishing to move to the other side of the state, to the mountains, but it definitely feels like God has me here for a reason and I just connected the dot today that maybe it’s to work with this planetary speen?

I remember many years ago when I was so sick (ascension symptoms though I didn’t know it at the time), I would say “my spleen hurts” and Michael would just shake his head and say “how do you know that?”? It was kind of strange. But it’s been a thing. Spleen. Blood. Heart. Circulatory system.

I think part of my job has been to work with (aka, put on and experience and feel into and now, hopefully, feels like we’re healing), a black heart and the metatronic reversal that caused it. The damage to the personal and planetary energy system, meridians, heart, and circulatory system (including veins, arteries, and maybe lymph (which impacts hormones and organs and the whole dang system) has been MASSIVE. Thanks be to God for the support healing this!

Two nights ago I scribbled some notes about what we were up to:
1:41 collecting pieces of the earth collecting pieces of the tapestry! It’s indescribable
1:44 so beautiful!
3:21 Feels like maybe working with 4D/2D split repairing & witnessing architecture and progress. I think we’re trying to reverse engineer the 2D/4D split & black heart & metatronic spiral. Rosemary was there. I felt my body a lot 3:22

That night I had a random AG pick pointing toward the 2009 "Negative Form and Crucifixion Implant removal" meditation which I did. In the middle of the night I pulled the “Clearing Descending Serpent Fire”… both of which seemed aligned. Later in the night I got the “Spiritual Healing for the Family of Origin” one which may or may not have been related. Anyway, it’s just amazing and such a blessing how God is holding my hand and directing me through all this work. I don’t have to DO anything, really… just respond with a desire to serve my Source and commit serving my Highest Power fully, completely, and totally. And it’s unfolding so beautifully.

Not so beautiful… or maybe it is and I just don’t know it yet: I got beamed in the head again last night. It’s often in the same place in my apartment… even when the furniture was in a different place, this particular type of beaming (like a ray to the skull that makes me go deaf for a second and then a beeeeeeeping sound and a fullness of the head until it stops) happens right there. I wondered last night if there is a portal or something there… some sort of access point? (I’ve been thinking about trying a tinfoil hat again, ha!). Really, I just need to keep feeling into it. I’m slowly continuing to peel back the fear and explore the sensations, experience, and connections associated with things. I’m not great at it yet, but we’re making progress.

It’s almost time for the ES Group Meditation so I’ll hang it up.
Love to All!
Carissa

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1:37

Just finished OL "Healing 1D Krystallah Rainbow Elements" meditation. I think it's the 3rd time I've pulled it and it's SO PERFECT. I remember the "Atomic Body Clearing" from ES was so good too. And that I have had such trouble with my "grounding mechanism"...feeling like my root chakra or earth chakra was exploded and not there. I feel more and more fullness in my legs like my grounding mechanism is coming back on line and it's helping me in so many ways!

Just wanted to share how lovely that meditation was.

1:55

THIS is weird. I just saw this graphic in an email. This is pretty much exactly what I envisioned my "bubble" was like when I was standing in the road in 2011 (I believe) and felt like my bubble was protecting that person who had just gotten hit and felt like cars were bouncing (and flying) off it!

Very cool! 5:11 5:22

Stand firm and compassionate witness

Email from Mr. Burch.... he keeps trying to chip away at this.  

On Aug 21, 2021, at 10:29 AM, RICHARD BURCH <cometmgr@verizon.net> wrote:

"I know more about forensic science than forensic scientists because I've watched every season of

"Forensic Files" on television.

Sounds stupid right?

That's how antivaxers sound to medical professionals.

 

From: Carissa Wages <crwages@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: 8/21
Date: August 21, 2021 at 11:22:33 AM EDT

To: RICHARD BURCH <cometmgr@verizon.net>

There are a very very very large numbers of medical professionals that are sharing things that don’t go along with the mainstream narrative and those are the ones that I tend to trust…. the ones who continue their education on their own (because that which they learned in medical school had some pretty big holes in it)…and the ones who lose their jobs and are labeled a heretic or whistleblower for having the audacity to question the system or share about something that they’ve picked up on. People who think for themselves instead of submitting to the threats of losing their license and their lives. 

In my case, I do my best to remain neutral and watch it all unfold. I see a huge media push for an experimental vaccine which is damaging and killing a lot of people which is being censored and suppressed and I have to ask “WHY”? Does’t give me good feelings and I have learned that the government definitely doesn’t have my best interest in mind. Sooooo… I watch. 

And now I'm seeing the propaganda designed to divide friends and family … to cause you to think that I’m an enemy because I won’t agree to something that isn’t aligned with my soul. Peer pressure. And it’s working for some…lots more have taken the jab out of fear of losing their freedoms (and the dichotomy is that they are actually consenting to giving them away… ultimately enslaving themselves more and more). And it’s scary. And sad. 

But I also know that your comments come from a place of care and concern… you have genuinely been brainwashed to think that I’m going to suffer and die and you genuinely want to help me. So it’s interesting and really good food for thought (and heart).

I appreciate you Miyagi. 

Love,

Grasshopper

___

Whoa! Do you see the time stamp of when I sent that back to him?  8/21/21 at 11:22:33!!!! 

Thank you God!

___

Forum Journal Post:

I wrote last week about being attacked and bitten by a dog and the shock and trauma that went with it that first day were terrible, but for the next day or two it kept unfolding through my systems. Post traumatic stress came up and the process of witnessing all the components of that in myself... and watching exterior systems (aka the landlord wanting me to take it to the medical system and involve legal system, etc.) try to sink THEIR teeth into me .... just lots of lessons. Ultimately it was an opportunity for practicing forgiveness, courage, kindness, the golden rule and to make choices aligned with Christ - now THAT was the work and the deeper healing associated with the TOS. God sent the "City 4 Square Encryption" meditation THREE DAYS in a row! I drew that meditation card out of a stack of over 100 meditations three times in a row... it was a miracle! Thank you God!

Thank you for your kind and compassionate responses Diana, Rosemary and Jane! I appreciate you sisters each so much! Jane, that's very interesting about the memory of your dog attack experience coming up for healing! What a wild ride we are living!

Today I felt led to share this story:

Where I live there is a pond which I walk by a couple times a day with the dogs. Today I saw a giant flying bug commit suicide. It was flying by making its very loud noise and it just jumped into the water. I don't know what kind of bug it was but may be a type of cicada. I have been seeing them around ...they are big and have these metallic bodies... metallic green on top (I think) and metallic silver on the bottom... they look like bug robots really. I see them dead on the path sometimes. Always makes me think of AI.

I couldn't tell if he was a metallic version or not but I watched him jump in the water and promptly begin to struggle. He was too far away for me to rescue him and I knew I was supposed to just watch/witness. He was flapping and "swimming"... making big concentric wave circles. I thought for sure he'd attract a predator - turtle or fish - from under the water and soon enough I saw a few bubbles nearby. Nothing came up to snatch him though and he just kept struggling. At about 1 or 1 and a half minutes he started kind of heading back toward the shore and I hoped he would make it out... maybe that kind of bug swims?!... but about 8 inches out, he just stopped and floated and that was that.

I thought to pray safe-passage-esque prayers for this being, asking his soul to be released of miasma, ancestral and karmic load, and anything that wasn't aligned with Christ. I asked for the beloved to transition through Mother Arc ... I don't know exactly what I said, just something like that. But then I realized that this was a lesson and parable for ME to apply. I'm trying to balance it by understanding it through my mental body but not wanting to cling because I really need it to sink deeply into my being.

So this is what I see. I believe this is what we are seeing with the cv/jab agenda. People are being transformed to/through Ai and they fly around with their metallic suits making metallic sounds and they don't know it and then all of a sudden they nose-dive and they struggle and make waves but ultimately they can't be helped. My role is to stand by as a compassionate witness to their struggling and ultimately their drowning and death and I have to pray for their souls ...and that's it.

Sounds bleak and I do feel that there are times when I'm directed to share my thoughts with others, but for the most part, it's not possible to just jump in and "save" people. I have to learn to love them fully and be present with them wherever they are. God is gently giving me these lessons. Just learning to let go of feeling that I have to DO something and instead just BE THERE and entrust the rest to God. It's not about me. It's about the being and what they are working out with God. (And also about what we are all working out together in/as the fullness of ChristSophia in God... many layers to this....but in every layer, I AM called to be a compassionate witness and hold neutral in love. Now to DO it... )

That's all for today. Much love to All.
Love,
Carissa

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1:22 786 17:54 5:55

Posts and other thoughts

 I mean... this is kind of weird but I liked the topic, and posted a weird response on it and it had a 23... 

I said (this mess):
I'm not really sure what to write here. I want to acknowledge that I definitely signed up for this role and can relate to every bullet in that list (loved the diamond bullets!).

Super duper grateful for the context and tools provided to help me slog off the negative ego and more efficiently work my pieces. I love what Sequoia vibrates about really not having to DO anything... it all just kind of seems to unfold on its own. I've been participating for a long time but just now getting traction on anchoring consciousness around it into this plane. But again, it just happens.

I'm kind of torn about this when it comes to shielding.... I feel that shielding and the clearings and staying connected with the Krystic consciousness fields/information/context provided in OL and ES really help me ... so it does require DOING... but it also feels like maybe it would continue to unfold on its own. Because really, does my consciousness... Carissa's consciousness... of the work that my Avatar/HS/Source is doing really matter? I don't know.

I've thought about testing out going back to not-shielding but have fear around it. Fear's not good either. Waiting for a calm time in the fields before trying that one.

I digress.

Just wanted to reply to let you know this share is heard and appreciated!

ps. I'm burning to share that two nights ago it seems like I was working with 2D star gate all night. And last night I dreamt of 2 spider webs.

Please forgive me for this mess. I'm not sure what I'm doing writing like this - I guess I just want to touch into the field on some level. I read your "we give everyone grace" post (not your words exactly) but it helped free certain pieces that are now allowing me to imperfectly respond to your post that definitely didn't need a response but I wanted to ... so I am... and I'm going to feel into this, how this feels. A little weird so far. Ha!

Love to All!
Carissa


This was in OmniLov. I don't think I've been posting my OmniLov posts here in my journal but should. I'll check. I also posted in ES:

Lisa, Thank you for the update and insight- it was very helpful and loving and I am grateful to God for it and you and this Krystic container and all the beloved team members here!

I remember during Staci's first group meditation which she held space for on Zoom... we did the Mother's Cosmic Aether meditation as a group and it was very powerful. One of the things that came up for me which I shared with the group afterwards thinking it was really "out there" was this connection with what I thought was the "Ring of Fire". I thought it had to do with the volcanos that surround Seattle/that part of the world, but more layers keep being pulled back.


Tryggve/Extraposer and All,

I pulled this meditation 3 days in a row (from a stack of 106 cards)... 3 days in a row. I can hardly get my head around it! It's happened twice before, but never three times! Wow God!!!

City 4 Square Encryption - Learn how to build the city 4 square architecture in your personal field and space to build a strong spiritual foundation of support. Work with the Aurora and the Diamond Light Hamonic to re-encrypt your residence and space, remove and seal harmful portals, Clear primordial imprints of shock, cosmic rage, abandonment, unworthiness, betrayal, seed fears of humanity, psychological blocks, and heal body in order of priority. TAGS: ring of fire, aurora, diamond light, city 4 square, 4 pillars

esfoundations.com/community/platinum-arc...-sep-2010-meditation

Granted I was working through/with a TOS having to do with shock and trauma, so I'm not sure if it's relevant for everyone or just supportive for me... but felt led to share.

Elizabeth, Thank you for your incredible life-giving light-infused art...for co-creating it and shining brightly!

Leo, thank you for your post and information about direct energy acoustic weaponry which I may be experiencing (though I keep trying to tell myself it's related to ascension symptoms and upgrades because I don't want to think that I'm being beamed through my Krystal Cathedral field architecture). Anyway, it was very supportive and I appreciate it!

Thank you to all who have shared their experiences - what an honor to be serving with you all on this mission! (My phone just dinged and I see it's 21:21 o'clock! What a year!)

Love,
Carissa

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Ah, here's another OmniLov one that I didn't copy here:

This is such a helpful and beautiful thread and update... thank you. Lots of synchronicities that help me gain understanding and insight about what I'm experiencing. Here are a few thoughts I wanted to share:

The sophianic heart embodied inside the Essenic tribes on Tara could host this as their body was/is this sun portal. Through the krysthallah double diamond sun embodiment and of the rod-staff flowerings the embodiment of the Cosmic Suns comes into the personal lightbody through the 10D Ankh or Crux Ansetea body as the sun-star body building, which requires the male-female michael & mary in the body to be solar embodied in heart twinning to host into being the encrypted shields of the sun-star and solar transmissions from the 14D portals into the solarisation channels in the lightbody.

When I came in to the container today and saw the Ankh graphic at the top, it immediately jumped out at me as looking like a dragonfly. I know many of us are having powerful experiences with dragonflies this year and I feel led to share of one that happened just this morning. I was laying in the sun on my hammock and a dragonfly landed on my left big toe. I started inquiring about it and understood that it was anchoring sophianic frequencies into the 5th dimensional axiatonial line. The dragonfly itself was solar/yellow and black and reminded me of the balancing of the black and yellow subtle forces as well as solar and black dragons in 5D … the Christ platinum aurora rainbow light that was flooding my body and vision was the white… the neutral.

I asked the dragonfly if there was anything he wanted me to know and he replied “you're not alone”. Felt really beautiful.

The Amethyst Order Violet Sun template is being restored and re-linked into the heart and core of pluto which is using up almost all of our life force, we are very drained hosting some of these pieces in.

This is why I’m feeling so drained. I hope. I have felt like I was being siphoned. My roommate is away this week and I was afraid it was because I was still inadvertently vampiricly corded to him and that I had lost my “sustenance”. I prayed to be hooked into organic living light (and participated in activities to support that). I’ve felt like this before and do think I need to continue to strengthen my connections to GodSource and the Sophianic earth frequencies, but this rings very true for me, that I am unconsciously supporting reconnections with Pluto.


Lastly:

The other day I experienced some attacks on Father side… I was called to go immerse myself in a stream that day (8/12) and didn’t check guidance on what particular location to go to… in hindsight I see that I was supposed to follow my friend to her favorite section of the stream but I wanted to go to the one that I had interacted with God at before so I drug us there. Immediately I was bit or stung by a centipede (who knew that was a thing?!) and ants all on my left side. It had some sort of phantom stinging over and over and over for about 8 hours - opportunity to let go of fear. I had to tell myself that I was not going to die from bug bites, but it definitely sparked something and I tried to allow access to any timeline memories for override.

Anyway, after the insect attack we went to the other location and it was amazing with a sandy bottom and little waterfall… a glorious rain and thunderstorm joined us and I laid in the water… actually I felt moved to get completely naked and just lay on the edge (on all those little crystals (sand)) and let the rain wash my being. I also baptized myself into ChristSophia at both locations, fully immersing myself in the water (which was only a foot or so deep in most places). It was powerful. (Until other people walked by - I didn’t imagine anyone else was out in the rain, but oops… they were. Hopefully I didn’t frighten them, ha!) But I saw 15:14 as I was headed to the stream and 18:17 when I was leaving and both of them felt important and I felt that it was Father:Son masculine healing that we were working with.

Love and gratitude to All.

____

I need to go to bed but want to also note... sheesh. I guess I haven't really written since the dog incident, have I? 

Did I tell you that I reached out to Ryan and Sarah and we talked and made up and I fell in love with their dog who was so sweet? I need to see if I wrote that up yet. I doubt it. I should share all the texts.... the whole story... or not. It's still going. The dog is still being evicted but Wendy wants to give them a chance too... to meet Bailey etc. 

Well Sarah came over today during a panic attack just for comfort. It was amazing and a gift from God. Really powerful to hold space for her. She definitely feels like an awakening sister. Seems to have Essene family ties - Celtic too. She's gifted with clairvoyance and clairaudience too, I think. And more. Today she blessed me ... my big rose quartz seemed to want to comfort her when she got here and she said when she was holding it she saw what looked like blue and waters... when she described it it felt like it comforted my soul in relation to Mother and the Blue Ray. She also has said again that she sees these light colors around me which is very encouraging. (Because I see BLACK!! Gah! lol... but we see what we need to and I think I'm working with the dark matter template... but she needs to see the 12D and/or Christ Ray.) 

Also had an interesting interaction with Aurora and Alegra about colors today... texting some thoughts. And about gold. Yeah. 

Feels like I'm not "accomplishing" much, but I'm getting all the animals cared for - Sioux even had a pedicure today! And talking to lots of people... today Kirk, Rosemary, Sarah, Jim, Dee, Michael, texted with Jeff, Misha... voice memoed with Angela, Candice, Diana. Wrote on the forums. Did a CE. Ate well. Mediated (though not enough). Did a little stretching.

Michael has been away for... has it only been 10 days? Feels longer, but he's not home yet... he's still about 3 days away, I believe. His Mom was doing much better but today she started declining. She's supposed to go in to the 23:03 rehab but she can't have visitors there. It's like a dang prison and not good for the soul. Her grandson works there so that's good, but she's just come alive...rallied... this week with her kids cheering her on. 

Well it's 11:05 - time to head towards bed. I did the HGS Calibration earlier so tonight not a long routine. There are thunderstorms in the area so it should be interesting to go to sleep. Lots of lightning. 

God please keep Sioux safe I gave her a flake of timothy... she hasn't had that in months but her hay is kind of yucky and moldy and I wanted to give her something else. I need to deal with it better tomorrow. Maybe I should just get her a round bale? Her poops don't look as vibrant and fresh with this old hay (that I'm trying to use up from the hay room). Speaking of poops, Rue farted. Such strong little pungent farts she makes! I love them!

11:08

Surrender desire

11:23
City 4 Square meditation is all about TRAUMA healing! AMAZING! I pulled it AGAIN last night. Two nights in a row. God loves me so much. I'm going to listen to it again today too. 

Also I got this verse... my teams are amazing, may I PLEASE not compromise my spiritual connection for the lusts of the flesh! (As I started thinking about that roast beef sandwich again. I don't think it's the roast beef that is the problem... it's the giving in to the implanted thought form that strengthens its power.)

Bread isn't the best, but maybe a wrap with roast beef and herbs wouldn't be so bad. I can look for roast beef in the store. But it's not GOOD wholesome meat... that's the problem with "cold cuts"...they have chemicals and who knows what else on top of hormone-injected animals that have been tortured and murdered. Not good. 

OH GOD. We need to fix this world. 

In general I need to surrender desire. Desire... want... of anything shows a dissatisfaction of God's blessings. Instead of trusting God to lead, I'm running after my own desires. My own lusts. I am fully provided for and given all that I need. When I start running after my own lusts which are usually the results of psychic attack and mental implants OR resistance to something that is "uncomfortable", then I ... what is that word? That Christian word? is it "grieve the Holy Spirit"? I guess that's it. There was some passage where Jesus said that you shouldn't ___ the holy spirit... that you can ___him all you want, but not GOD. I can't find it.

Anyway...  I need to repair the pathways where I compromised that which God told me to do and I need to do everything (or not do everything) perfectly in alignment with my guidance. Number one so I can strengthen my guidance and number to so I can walk the path laid out before me in order to serve the earth and this mission to the best of my ability. I flubbed it up before. I don't want to do that again. Listen to GOD. Don't compromise for PEOPLE or for my own flesh.

There is grace and understanding here, I feel it, from God. It's all part of the walk... but times are getting serious so let me put off all the things that slow me down (yes Paul) and run the race before me in spirit and in truth!

This one reminds me of the pearl. And also a reminder that THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS EVERYTHING... following GOD is EVERYTHING!!!!

Thank you. 

___

3:24  I will not fracture. I am strong. I AM STRONG. I just walked to the mailbox and around the back pasture singing a beautiful song of strength, redemption, and healing... in native/indigenous light language and it was very empowering. I almost fractured. I feel the attack and draw to lose my mind over this... to give over my mind over this. No. I choose to let GOD LEAD. I don't want to be involved. I want to live in peace and joy and allow God's will to be done in all things. 

I had to lay down and moan some. Some seepage of tears but there is a lifetime of lifetimes of pain below this. Meditate. Breathe. Take in the sun. Hydrate. All of these will help. 

You need YOU now, (clear BM!) not other people. Remember what God said, "SIT IN YOUR STILL POINT AND LET EVERYTHING UNFOLD AROUND YOU". So that's it. 

Michael's phone and all the interference and noise was designed to upset me... sending static into my lightbody. I felt it. I felt the static in the dryer too. I DO NOT CONSENT TO STATIC or ATTACK of any sort. I AM GSF!!!

I will not fear "death hornets" or whatever Robert called them. They will not harm me. We are on the same team. We are integrating polarities ... yellow and black ... this is our job. They are my friends and totems as well, whatever they are. 

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17:44 4:44

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It's now 6:21 on the 17th and I need to share some miracles. Number 1, I pulled the "City 4 Square Encryption" for the THIRD NIGHT IN A ROW last night... out of a HUGE stack of cards that I shuffled... God is so good to me.  It's all about trauma healing and so perfect.

After or during that mediation trauma came up... in the form of Moses getting sick and me getting an anxiety attack with him. Both of us had diarrhea and all my nerves were shaking and I was chilled and so anxious... an opportunity to surrender myself and Moses. I did send a text to Page when Moses was panting so bad but she didn't answer and I'm so glad she didn't. I needed to just be present with what WAS. It was a huge lesson. Hard to recount. The theme was surrender and letting go and entrusting all to God and just being present. These dogs are not MY dogs... we get to do life together and I can do the best I can, but ultimately I am NOT in control and I need to release control. There are Seed Fears attached to all these that are coming up for healing. Grateful to God, Guidance and our teams, including Moses... and Rue was helping too. 

This morning I talked to Ryan and Sarah and had an amazing, healing discussion and met Bailey, the dog who attacked us and she was SO SWEET and kind. She kissed me on the lips and rolled over on her belly and put her head in my chest... just really really sweet. A beast behind a fence and I have to watch out for her, but she's like Rue... nice to people as long as she's not behind a fence. We'll see what Wendy does but I'm glad that it's over for me. I feel that much healing has come from it and much opportunity to choose love and forgiveness. 

Made Yellow Curry. It wasn't great. 
I'm missing Michael quite a bit. 
Tired. Didn't go to bed until about 1am last night and up at 6. I got a 1 hr nap this morning, but need more. I did an amazing OmniLov meditation about 1D Krystallah something... pulled the card and it was perfect! COULDN'T listen to their update... it was too much... too heavy... I started to listen but am not strong enough yet. 

Began Charlotte transcription finally.

Brought Charcoal over last night to help her "break the broody". No more broody chickens!! 

Thank you God

12:21

Grateful for Misha and our shared love for God and one another. We have similar quirks, understandings, and experiences too. Truly a gift from God. Today we had such great laughs and she had a really great cry. I think we both feel "seen" in each other's presence.

Just now in the bath while doing HP vag I called in Jeff's Higher Self (12:23) and tried to use HSP ... I pulled in a white light into my skull and pineal gland and consecrated it to God and then dropped it into my heart and then sent out a cord. I felt like Jeff was almost transparent... but it was because he was hidden in a cloud of black smoke. Very sick. I asked to wrap him in Aurora light an the light wrapped around him and the black smoke was on the outside so I could barely see the rainbow behind it... but it's there.

I'm not sure what TRUTH is. I say that this experience, vision, above is truth, but it's squishy and it is in my mind which, if not connected to God-Source is probably rooted to the Imposter Spirit. This is why I've had such trouble with "lies". It's only been in the last couple years that I've been trying to address being a "liar". I don't look or seem like a liar to the world, I don't think. But by living out of alignment with my soul in order to please other people I have become an imposter. A liar. And it's hard to know what the truth is.

Couple that with the multidimensional access and experience that I have... really confusing to discern what's what. This is what the NAA has been trying to use to blow me up. But I yearn to drag the darkness into the light. I want to see the truth which will set me free (from the prison of deception, fear, and lies that I'm convinced I'm in). Elephant has been around reminding me that I am sovereign and free and the prison is a mirage. 

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Posted in ESF Journal:
Been a very challenging time for all of us, right? Wow. I could write here every day about the physical and spiritual experiences I'm enduring through but that would get old. We are ALL working with some really difficult and surreal energies in these strange times. It's an honor to be serving with you All. I love you and am grateful for your Presence, work, support, love, and for being the authentic YOU that you are!

I do feel that I should share/document this experience from yesterday here. Writing about it provided additional clarity and seeping of additional emotional density.

Yesterday I had a very traumatic experience while walking my dogs. We peacefully walk barefoot together twice a day and it's a time of connection with God and nature...just a lovely time. But last night a neighbor's dog came after us. Looked like a devil-train that was headed straight toward us. I was trying to pick up Rue (as she's dog aggressive). Both of my dogs are about 35 pounds so it's not like I could just scoop them up but I sure tried (unsuccessfully) as both she and Moses were trying to protect me and each other. As the dog ran up, it went straight for Rue and pinned her was going after her jugular. I was sure I was watching her being killed right in front of my eyes. The look in her eyes and the way the dog was thrashing... it was really horrible. You know how these things slow down in our minds so you get 1/8 second play-by-plays. I thought in that moment of my Uncle who watched his dog get murdered like that. Moses tried to stop it and I tried to stop it and it then went after Moses and then Rue jumped in and I was trying to stop it and catch it... her. (Found out it was a female dog named Bailey.)

VERY frightening. I was screaming from the depths of my soul and the owner finally came and called her off. I don't know how long the whole thing lasted, a minute? Two? Felt like a lifetime. I was amazed that both dogs were alive and I needed to walk away and breathe. I was very traumatized and in a state of shock and anxiety, of course. But the dogs shook it off and kept walking and we walked our walk. I checked the dogs along the way and it was a MIRACLE that there was absolutely no blood ... only one of them (the one who had the dog chomping her neck) had black goo on her (BLACK GOO?!!! This just hit me. MIASMA. Whoaaah.)

The whole thing definitely felt like a TOS... and an opportunity to practice. Right when it happened I had been shielding... I just felt this unsettled feeling and started shielding and then the dogs came. The neighbor lets them out of his yard and they run to the dog park. In this case, one or two didn't go to the dog park, they saw us and came after us. I'm sure it felt my fear and honed in on that like a heat-seeking missile.

I was amazed that I was able to find neutrality or observer as we were walking. I checked the dogs better when I got home and it didn't appear that they had any blood or major damage. I have 2 small scratches (one on each ankle), one large scratch...(well, it's multiple, but one streak is quite deep and the whole thing is quite large on my right inner thigh), and one puncture wound from being bit on my left outer thigh.

I see how this is spiritual in nature. An attack and opportunity to overcome. Thanks be to God that it wasn't worse. That the sweet pups are okay. I guess they are all in on it. We are all trying to work out this stuff... this miasma. Clearing. And it requires neutrality and compassionate witnessing. I see myself teeter/tottering on V/V and I need to just relax and appreciate that God is in control. My declaration of intention is to serve my Source. And if this is how it works, then that's it. I'm so grateful that my teams and beloved inner child held it together so well. (Traumatized, but well!)

About 15 minutes before I left for the walk I had some sort of code come in... the partial deafness (not as intense/startling as the other day) with a beeeeep tinnitus sound code that may even still be running. Came into my right hemisphere of my brain.

As I was walking I was feeling into it and can just lightly touch a memory of being attacked in our home with our loved ones. Feels otherworldly, maybe Gaia or Lyra. Felt like maybe an opportunity for my divine masculine to have a "re-do" on the "fight-flight-freeze" response when they were infiltrated and he froze and felt guilty which spun off into a hot FKOT mess down the line. This time he fought. It was scary as hell, but he fought that dog off with all that he had. He has some wounds, but God is with us and we are all okay!

Last night as I was going to sleep there were two explosions and also that low level hummmmm of the earth (which I hear quite often. It's pulsing now, so I'm not sure what it is.)

Love,
Carissa

___

1:11 2:54

Got "City 4 Square" as middle of the night meditation recommendation
Today's AG pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Temple_Mount 

Feeling support for 2D. Still healing 1D. The V/V challenge is important. Choose empathy. Choose love. Choose forgiveness. 

3:33

___

Weird. I thought I wrote this before, but I'm dealing with PTSD now. I don't know if it's from recounting the trauma or from the drama surrounding it but it's trying very hard to suck me in. Today I felt fear to walk the dogs and walked them separately. I considered (and got encouragement from Wendy and Michael) to get a pellet gun to walk with. This is very out of character for Sophianic frequencies.

God gave me the Sapphire Body Corrections OL meditation today. I thought I should listen to the spine one and when I went to pull a card had all this spiritual energy flood me and felt like it was leading me to the OL Spine med but when I put it on, it did the magical swipe and switched to the Sapphire body one which was PERFECT. THIS is what my job is... to hold the Sophianic codes to support the earth now.

I was tempted and gave in to sweet Deirdre and Jim who fed me tonight - but it was pasta... Tuscan Chicken pasta, bread, and banana bread with chocolate chips. Carbs and sugar. Not aligned with my soul but it was kindness and I ate it. (I threw the rest of the pasta away when Dee left, but ate a lot of it.) I feel my thyroid getting ill from the carbs or wheat ... really took an energetic number on me. 

I need to meditate to address and yank the roots of the fear. I can't fear anything. God will take care of me in the moment. God led me to shield and pray before the dog attack and kept our beloved guardians safe. It did trigger TOS and now this work/practice to bring it all back to neutrality.

I feel bad because in the end, especially because Ryan kept playing it down and didn't offer to do anything other than keep them on leashes, Wendy has evicted the dog. I will feel safer, but hate it for them. God, please keep Rue from attacking anyone's dog!! This could have happened to anyone, but that dog really is vicious. It has triggered memories of Jake and feeling like I let him down and didn't do enough to rehabilitate him. He's free from his body. Maybe I can talk with him and gain some insight about how it was for him. I bet he was frustrated and maybe overprotective and also had a head injury or neurological impairment (they told us when we adopted him). I need his picture and will try to connect if it's God's will. I don't know where I'd get his picture now that all my social media is taken down. Do I need his picture? No. Jake, can I talk to you now? I'm not sure that it's him but felt that I am forgiven and that it is okay... he WAS freed from the body and it's not that big a deal. I'll have to let it marinate some. Hopefully this other dog doesn't have to be put down, but just re-homed. 

I'm tired. Feeling drained. Need more sleep these days. Want to listen to the ES and OL updates about the field but feel like I need to maybe get myself straight first. 

Feeling good about letting Jeff go. He's not the one for me. He can be and IS my beloved friend but there's no time to rehabilitate him and hope that he's a starseed and to wait for him to step into his power so we can work missions together. 

Michael is closer than Jeff. Michael and I love each other and we are working to heal the patriarchal domination. Working with the Family of Michael and Seraphim reclamation and healing the Twilight Master and Imposter Spirit. We are working with gender polarities and roles and learning and living our God-given sovereignty and freedom. He is my divine partner... sure it's alchemical and who knows how long it will go... but it's perfect for now. In all it's ambiguous glory, it's perfect! 

9:44

I saw 44's a LOT today. I'm going to go sit on the back porch or hammock and meditate and breathe. Thanks for being there for me. You're my best friend and I love you and I just made you smile!! :)