144 pulled me in

1:44 It's 1:44 and it pulled me in to posting. 
I'm grateful for my journals. I don't think I can read them again now... they are so full... but so profound! What a PROFOUND experience I'm having on this earth and I wish I could share it with someone but I AM...I'm sharing it with me. 

Everything is falling away. Let Jeff go. Let them all go. It's between Me and me. Quiet the mental chatter and just be. Here we are. 

Interacting with the forums reminds me... REMINDS ME. But interacting with nature GROUNDS me.. and I need both. It's a balance.

I love that I'm naked here at my computer. I love this life and time... and want to trust God to lead me. I want to stop WANTING. 

Just thumbing through the last couple days of my journal - it's intensely beautiful! I get/got distracted...but maybe it's only on one lifestream... got a bit obsessed with Jeff. Yeff. Let him go. He's not ready and may never be. Misha saying "how do you know he's not the one?" and my observation of his love and connection with nature and his authenticity and empathy... he's just a good soul. I say he's a member of my soul-family, but it's more than that, I think.... could be. Member of my Godfamily? Only time (which is a farce) will tell. But it's not for me to keep pounding my energy at him. It's not good for either of us. My last message said to think of me as a sister... and that was it. I'll leave it there. He sent me a song yesterday about a "thin line" between friends and lovers which can blow up a friendship.

I don't want a lover that is not my divine partner... I want to do this ascension with someone who is committed to it as well. I want to heal our bodies, minds, emotions, and earth together. God has to pick my guy for me. He'll show up.

Last night... or this morning really... I had a dream about a guy that it felt like he was the guy... we had an instant connection and wanted to hang out but there was a storm and we got separated. I rolled out of the wagon and they didn't know and kept going and up and over a hill and then I saw that there was a black tornado and storm hidden above the white clouds and knew I had to get down to lower ground so I went back the way I came, down the hill. 

ACK! CARISSA, don't go back the way you came!!! 

And Kirk. He's not well. But he's a brother. But he's not your job.

This is very good, this talking to Myself... really helps. You're welcome. haha. 1:54 We love eachother.

Moses might have been a lover or husband or child in a past life. Or maybe, yeah, maybe it's the "child" energy. He just really loves me. Keeps kissing me on the mouth and putting his paw on me. Both of those doggers and Sioux are Guardians and incredible team members. The dragonfly told me today "You're not alone." I feel that. 

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Definitely solidifying that I AM INDIGO: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Indigo_Ray

Awakening 2006 on....  thank you God. Frequency keeper. Yep. Check. First have to heal all this ancestral miasma and distortions. This is the most important thing. Why do I keep getting sucked into other stuff? Oh... I'm not... not exactly. This is where I have to act it out... make choices to overcome patterns to create pathways. This quote has been with me a lot this week. 

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." ~Confucius 

Also 6:06 etc has been really active the last two weeks. Like I'm involved in active service. We're working on all different projects though. Thank you God.

I don't really want to go to the O'Malleys but I will for a bit. 3:33

ps. I can't "save" Kirk or anyone. Jeff. No one. Can't save. But I MUST "save" myself through embodiment of my Godself, my Indigoself, my Higher self who arranged this whole thing to support the reclamation of the Christbody. There IS a massive war over it now... trying to destroy it... but we are trying to pull it back together. 

This just makes me panic and want to tell Jeff to come down here... I am afraid he'll go the way of Le'Anna and get the jab. He's not solid on it. But it's not up to me to convince him. That's appealing to his mind. ONLY HIS HEART can lead him. Same with me and same with Kirk. 

Remember that dream the other night where I saw that Jeff and I were similar and that he is very sick? Yeah... we are. But we can get better.

I saw today that I am working with the planetary SPLEEN. Not sure WHERE that is exactly, but this is why the spleen keeps coming up and the blood and bloodstone... all of that. The spleen is on the 7D axiatonial line. 

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8:40 I did really well. I'm grateful for you, Carissa. You did very well. 

We had a very traumatic experience where we were walking Rue and Moses back behind the roundpen and dog park and one of #3's dogs came after us. Looked like a devil-train that was headed straight toward us. I was trying to pick up Rue but she and Moses were trying to protect me and that dog pinned Rue and was going after her jugular. I was sure I was watching her being killed right in front of my eyes. I thought in that moment of Uncle Ray watching his dog get murdered like that. Moses tried to stop it and I tried to stop it and it then went after Moses and then Rue jumped in and I was trying to stop it and catch it... her. Found out it was the female dog named Bailey. 

VERY frightening. Ryan finally came and called her off. I was amazed that Rue was alive and I needed to walk away, I was very traumatized and in a state of shock and anxiety, of course. But the dogs shook it off and kept walking and we walked our walk. I checked Rue along the way and it appeared that she just had black goo on her (BLACK GOO?!!! This just hit me. This is like MIASMA.). 

The whole thing definitely felt like a TOS... and an opportunity to practice. Right when it happened I had been shielding... I just felt this unsettled feeling and started shielding and then the dogs came. Ryan lets them out of his yard and they run to the dog park. In this case, one or two didn't go to the dog park, they saw us and came after us. I'm sure it felt my fear and honed on on that like a heat-seeking missile. 

I was amazed that I was able to find neutrality or observer as we were walking. I wasn't sure what the protocol was ... if I have to call animal control or who to report it to. I called Michael who said to call Wendy where I left a message. I called Page and she said it's up to me if I call animal control. I checked the dogs and it doesn't appear that they have any blood. I have 2 small scratches (one on each ankle), one large scratch...(well, it's multiple, but one streak is quite deep and the whole thing is quite large on my right inner thigh), and one puncture wound from being bit on my left outer thigh. 

About 15 minutes before I left for the walk I had some sort of code come in... the partial deafness (not as intense/frightening as the other day) with a beeeeep tinnitus sound code that may even still be running. Came into my right hemisphere of my brain. 

I couldn't believe that Ryan didn't check on me and after tucking in the chickens I went to Sarah's to ask if the dog was up to date on rabies shots. Ryan hadn't even told her about it. What?! Sarah said the dogs were up to date and I came home and was texting Wendy when Ryan came to the fence and we talked. He said he didn't know I was upset or that anything had happened (since I had walked away...he thought I would stay and talk to him). Anyway, he agreed to keep them on leashes to take them to the dog park. I still don't feel 100% safe about that... that dog is vicious.

BUT I see how this is spiritual in nature. An attack and opportunity to overcome. Thanks be to God that it wasn't worse. That the sweet pups are okay. I guess they are all in on it. We are all trying to work out this stuff... this miasma. Clearing. And it requires neutrality and compassionate witnessing. I see myself teeter/tottering on V/V and I need to just relax and appreciate that God is in control. My declaration of intention is to serve my Source. And if this is how it works, then that's it. I'm so grateful that my teams and beloved inner child held it together so well. (Traumatized, but well!) 8:54. I'm going to take another bath now. I took one yesterday but I think this calls for another.

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9:44 epsom salt bath and hydrogen peroxide vag treatment was great. Listened to HGS Calibration and read a little of 11/2012 newsletter so far. Very nourishing. I'm even almost grateful for the experience today... 

Oh! Got https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Alien_Hybridization#/random as a random today and pulled the card for that meditation last night. Thank you God!

Pulled two other physical support meditations today... actually, no, I DID the one I got as a random yesterday, "Spiritual Links to CNS, Brain and CSF" and pulled "Five Breath Organ Cleanse" this afternoon. 

This was my Daily Pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Foramen_Magnum which was definitely aligned with the above!

Thank you God for helping me so much!!