Well the day is here. It's 8/8 Lion's Gate.
I just wrote this to Kirk.
Re: Paul Maudib- I've figured out that we are... no.. you are... and I WAS because I no longer consent... you are tapped into the collective consciousness field in a big way. My galactic architecture/blueprint allows me to shapeshift and feel into anything I want to and I could merge and move with the collective consciousness... of which I'm getting now that there are many levels of collective consciousness. Anyway... this is how we... how I could feel into and feel like I WAS all these things. But as I hone in on my true identity (which is also ONE with ALL, but as a spiritual embodiment (Godself which is collected to a gestalt which is connected to ALL) anchoring deeper and deeper into Carissa (Earthself created as a vessel (holy grail?) for this higher consciousness).
I want to be super intentional about embodying my KRYSTIC God-self vs. the spiritual "power" and "wisdom" available through the collective consciousness which is Lucifer's (or whoever's... Thoths, Pindars...) playground.
You have been a big part of helping me understand this.
In general I've had lots more understanding (see my written journal for this time) about who I AM and what I'm doing here. I can distill it into my purpose and the reason I'm here is to embody my Krystic Godself and anchor frequencies of unconditional love and forgiveness on this plane to heal it.
Frequency Keeper.
Tesla.
Magnetism... all related.
In order to support my Earthself (Carissa vessel) to be best suited to hold my Godself (ChristSophia gestalt that I merged with on a higher plane but I'm actually from beyond this planet as well)... in order to support that work, I need to clean up all the distortions and damages I sustained to my vessel by incarnating here as well as those I took on through my lifetimes (including ancestral influences).
This IS a micro picture of what we're doing on a macro level as well. As I heal myself, I cut paths to make it easier for others.
When we give ourselves away to addictions, we start small, one little brush off of conscience/Godself whisper. I'll just try it this one time... then we make excuses and then we say we'll stop tomorrow and have one "last hurrah to get it out of my system". (I'm reading my journals about my struggle with the same things I'm still struggling with today... food addictions.)
11:17 - just got nudged to go out and talk to Sarah #3 which was really good. Hopefully I listened better. I keep trying to show or tell people I understand...they don't really respond to that very well. I need to just mostly stay quiet...but it did seem to help her when I expressed about the earth changing frequency and her being tapped into that. She saw some light around me that supported it... so just trust that. God's will be done. Not everyone wants to endlessly 11:18/8 think and talk about spirituality like I do.
My answer to Kirk's poll last night. I know it's disgusting that I'm "proud" of it, but I also think there is important wisdom that I want to remember here.
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11:44 12:11 12:21 12:22
Gayle called... Michael's Mom may not make it... she's not doing well. I need to do the Safe Passage for Loved Ones... like NOW. Okay.
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My introduction on the OmniLov forum:
Hello dear family, it’s a joy and honor to join you! I loved reading each of your introductions - such unique and lovely energy signatures from each one!
My name is Carissa and I live in North Carolina in the US in a little horse community out in the country with my friend, Michael, and our beloved horse, Sioux, 24 chickens and 2 (guardian) dogs, Rue and Moses.
I’ve been a weirdo all of this life, but the alarm clock to “wake up” began in earnest in 2006… let the shake rattle and rolling begin! January 2, 2010 I experienced a higher self walk-in and life really got wild from then on. (I believe it was my Godself Oraphim parent coming to support my Earthself Indigo inner child architecture and mission… beginning the embodiment of Source in earnest.)
Unfortunately I, Carissa, didn’t 100% listen to this Voice of God that I was now hearing… in the beginning I did but then slowly compromised and drug my feet and put off the shadow-work/dissolution of negative ego. That didn’t go so well and I ended up with an exploded black heart in a Metatronic spiral (I lovingly refer to it as a Metatronic pit of doom). Locked in a prison of fear (etc.)… this looked in my outside life as agoraphobia, 20 hour panic attacks daily for many months and general mental and physical fracturing (HELL).
There is another side to this coin though, and that is that I was still very much in contact with God (my Godself)… still talking to her and still conscious…watching all this unfold… witnessing the process. So I feel that in a way this was a TOS for a failed rescue mission.
I was also going through debilitating ascension symptoms for years and I thought it was my body breaking down and dying… the anxiety and agoraphobia and migraines and heart arrhythmia and chest pains and blood pressure changes and brain zaps and tinnitus and insomnia and hair falling out and endocrine system problems and adrenal fatigue and frightening nerve sensations and electrocution feelings and EMF sensitivity and brainfog and bugs crawling on me and hot and cold flashes and numbness in my face and appendages and spleen pain and abdominal pain, etc…a lot more but you get the point… just scary stuff. It ramped up after I quit taking anxiety medicine so I thought it was withdrawl from that (and/or impending death)…I was bedridden for almost 10 months but so so so so sick for a long time… years. Now in hindsight I think it was more ascension symptoms; I just didn’t have the context back then.
Anyway ES found me in 2018… well, maybe initially in 2011 there was an online forum that I read for a few weeks and I remember being so drawn to it and also thinking that these people were schizophrenics but apparently so was I because it resonated so strongly. It could have been a similar group, I’ll never know. I was targeted for an anti-HG relationship at that time and it swept me away into the path that led to the black heart (etc.) damage. Lots of lessons on V/V, enemy patterning, sexual misery program, etc… but oh so painful and I’m still picking up the pieces and holographic inserts 6 years later.
Anyway, I read the ES newsletters for a year and a half… I would look forward to them and read them and have absolutely no idea what they meant…finally after a massive heart repair/opening through surrendering to death by what felt like a heart attack in December 2019, my teams led me to join ES January 11, 2020. It’s been like drinking water from a firehose ever since! (<--I’m being dramatic and charismatic and trying to acknowledge the falsity in that.) I really need to not talk so much. I talk a LOT with myself…between my Godself and my Carissaself … lots of journaling all throughout the process because my mental body is unbalanced (understatement). Maybe from lots of head injuries, but I struggle with memory and also struggle with ego wanting to cling to concepts so this mental body correction is part of my work here. There is also some shadow work around fear of what people think that I'm having to work with. I'll get it integrated in divine right order. So many lessons and the spiritual energetic environment is RIPE right now with understanding/downloads. I see it in everyone but for me I’m coming up on my 44th biomarker so it seems I have extra support to drop density and level up. But this time in the Ascension cycle is absolutely RICH with embodiment opportunity.
Well I don’t need to put my whole life into this thread here so I’ll pipe down but am grateful for the opportunity to be here. I feel that the work with the NRG is part of my role in this incarnation. In 1999 I spent 5 months traveling around the UK as I did a semester abroad in London and travelled to a different area every weekend. I’m sure there was some unconscious reconnaissance that took place at that time. I can’t seem to find my photo album from that time but in DRT when it shows up I look forward to finding out where I went… I remember a few places like Stonehenge and Cambridge and Bath and Liverpool and Edinburgh and Stratford upon Avon and Brighton Beach and Dover, etc… but there’s more…
I’m currently working with Imposter Spirits … observing and evicting them out of my lightbody and being. I choose to embody the Spirits of Christ in alignment with my Krystic Godself.
In summary, I’d like to share some of what’s been coming forward regarding who I am and what my purpose is here (as far as I understand at this particular point in time, it’s always evolving and fun to think through with family). The context provided by Lisa and M&S is definitely supportive and helps with names, etc. but that which I am sharing is from my own understanding and may not be aligned or “correct” according to others, but it’s okay because this whole exercise is between ME and me and I’m enjoying the process of working it out.
I AM here supporting the reclamation of Christ. This is the restoration of our planet’s original blueprint. My Godself first chose to embody the Krystal Star/Christ architecture so that it could anchor it on earth through my Earthself, Carissa, the… and this is squishy and using someone else’s words… the holy grail or chalice… but the divine vessel (I got “gold bowl” from my own heart back in 2011) which holds the chrisma (anointing oil/spirit of God). Carissa as the ascending vehicle is working with her Godself to restore the gestalt consciousness that she is a part of…. that they may embody the ChristSophia architecture and hold/anchor that frequency/energetic signature on the earth (in all their planes) in order to help the whole heal and ascend. They are an integral part of the reclamation of Christ which includes multidimensional versions of earth and we need to heal all of them in order to heal the entire blueprint. We are just working in this plane right now with reparations through 3D to 5D and 7D. Something like that.
But I believe I AM WHO I AM is actually from a place beyond Christ… but chose to put on Christ in order to put on Carissa and help with this mission.
I AM a frequency keeper, here to anchor God’s spirit…light...LOVE. I do this by embodying more and more of my Source. And one day when I’m ready (and have healed all the Ai Red Wave damage that continues to plague me), I hope to share in this work with a divine partner - I’m inspired and grateful for Sequoia and Mhairi’s union and the outflow to the planet and want to experience that as well. Indeed I tried to consciously create it… I believe I was built to template the HG union and in 2011 was brought together in an arranged marriage built 90% on my faith in God (the other 10% was ego-flesh related even though it was not popular with a single other person on this planet, but my ego took the bait and it fed a sense of superiority for being chosen. There was lots of spiritual theatrics involved… lots of POWER which I have now identified as a Luciferian energy signature) … but I agreed to marry a man I had only met once (when I visited him in prison after blindly agreeing to marry him) and I married him the day he got out. I still believe he is a brother and Indigo but he was very possessed and mentally damaged and it was very unwise on my part. I see my own mental body distortions and lack of discernment now. Anyway, I tried SO HARD in my FLESH (and EGO) to make that work but I got so damaged from it and in the end it was God who had to rip him away from me because I just kept choosing wrong and almost took myself out because of it. But thanks be to God and my teams who saved me and for all the rescue teams who sent ropes and supplies down to help me claw my way out of the Metatronic pit of doom. I’m still on the lip of it coming out and so grateful to see all your smiling faces here waiting for me!
Again, sorry this is so long. I’ll try to be less verbose in the future.
Love and gratitude,
Carissa
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2:22
Heron
"You Can't Rush Your Healing" (song)
6:16
Lovely time laying in the sun with crystal friends. Feeling kind of bad about posting all that on OmniLov...feeling judged, judging myself. It was just one tiny thin layer of my consciousness at this time but when I put it in words or writing it limits it.
May have felt cruxifixction implants being removed. 6:21 6:23
7:55 - listening to some 5D Lion's Gate meditation - Brianna something. Not sure how I got on her list. It was beautiful but I didn't fully engage but I sat in it feeling it and praying with it but I guess a part of me knew that I would be taken out of it to work with Sophia. Sophia got in touch and invited me right at the time that we were preparing to go through the Lion's Gate in Briana's meditation. I felt bad about it, that I "missed it", but now after experiencing the powerful 3 hour ceremony and time with Sophia and Allegra.... everything was set up PERFECTLY!
22:28/8 I AM in incredible clearing ceremony with Sophia Aurora and Allegra. Thank you God!
I don't know what to do with myself, I feel SO BLESSED to have had that time to share with my sisters Sophia and Alegra... we brought forth those things which moved us for a shared root clearing... we shared stones, herbs, cards, feathers, breath... necklaces... elderberry tincture for 5th chakra! ON POINT all of it... and there were tarot cards and crystal grids but it was the sharing of our hearts and energy to birth whatever it is that God is bringing forth through us. Birthing. Life or death... all these ... OBSIDIAN (playing again)... this is the theme... exploring the shadow, feeling the fear, allowing and observing.
These feathers and rocks and friends joined me... it was beautiful. We are birthing Sophia. We are connecting more deeply to our primordial ROOTS. GOD, THANK YOU!!!
Much to explore. Thank you for these sisters. I wish I could better communicate the powerful experience I just had with these beautiful souls... 11:22 Sophia did a tree of life (of sorts) with all these layers for different spheres... based on the merkabah.
GOD! THANK YOU for bringing these powerhouse people ... so many powerful and INCREDIBLE sisters! Please help me to remain aligned to my SOURCE, to YOU that I might be of use on the earth and fulfill my mission. THANK YOU God!
A full and beautiful day. Tomorrow the chickens are going to heaven and I don't feel like I honored their lives or spent enough time loving them. If Michael has to drive to Chicago (as his Mom got sick and they thought she was going to die today but I guess she bounced back)... the plan is for him to go on Tuesday to Chicago... so we will need to pick up the chicken plucker thing tomorrow and he'll have to process them all in one day.
Time to wind down. Go sit with God. (Says Heron)
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