No Bueno

Ryan doesn't like family... doesn't like people... doesn't want to go on family vacations (all expenses paid!!), doesn't want to eat family meals, get's angry when people want to eat with him, angry about wanting to eat while it's hot, doesn't like flavor or uniqueness in food, is angry about my personality, doesn't pursue consciousness expansion, smokes like a chimney... lies about it to himself that he smokes a pack a day when it's often more... doesn't care about his health or feel his body. He feels all the FEELS... he's very sensitive and feels a lot that he filters through his brain and not his heart, but he is disconnected from his body and soul. Does the shot make it worse? Has it affected me at all? I want to say "yes" to both of those things... look at how since I've made love/had sex with him, how I'VE backslid to not taking care of my body... I gave up on carnivore... I do need to eat ketovore or something instead... but I need to choose LIFE for my body... eat what is healthy and good... and do coffee enemas and meditate and walk in nature and spend time with Sioux... come back to me. I needed this to feel into it to see and learn from it....thank you for the lesson.

I like Ryan... he is so handsome and strong and smart... but he isn't in pursuit of consciousness the way I want to be and he ridicules me for being ME. (RIDICULE is the word that I've been trying to nail down for a while... that's the energy and experience. The mean and sarcastic and unauthentic tone.)

But I need to LOVE ME... LOVE MEEEEEE. I've put the rest of my life on hold to play with Ryan and I don't want to do that anymore. 

Eminem - "snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity, oh there goes... blah"... "the music, the moment, you want it, ... " etc. 

2 month experiment. 
The first month was beautiful.

The second was hell.

Ultimately I am finding more of my own truth. LOVE. ME. 

____

Just experienced one of the ...no... THE most powerful meditation I've ever done... I'm in tears and snot now still. I have never had such a full body and consciousness experience like that... I've had glimpses that are similar but, THANK YOU GOD, I pray and cry. My AG pick was the "Heart of the Solar King" meditation so that's what I did, and it was just incredible. 

I felt at one point like maybe Kirk and Rue were there with me... but not sure if that was to take me off ... but I was one with God and saw myself in my higher star consciousness ... as a star... surrounded by all the universe and galaxys and ... it was just too...soo... big.  Thank you God. I'm a mess. Going to sit outside for a bit and breathe. Thank you God!

I saw 11:09 and 11:11 last night. And today more 12:11 and 12:12 and 13:12 and 13:13 and 13:44 = 144. 

Powerful time today. 

15:33 and 3:33 

___

6:35... our third baby chicken was murdered by the dogs. :( I thought the rest were safe and named them this morning. I named the other Maran "Orion" in honor of Ryan who helped me pick them out. But she was just attacked and murdered by Manson (she was stuck in our yard). This is what is happening. Horrible. :( Rest in peace Orion. My heart is broken. I've failed three of you. Because of carelessness or laziness and not having the proper fencing to keep you all in. It's not okay. I'm so sorry. Is it a sign about Ryan and I too? I mean, do I need that sign? She is going to find a better incarnation. There is a lesson here. I need to do safe passage for all three of them. God, please forgive me. I do. We do. I know. But I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 

7:53, thanks be to God, Michael, Paul, and I fortified the chicken yard so hopefully the last two babies don't get out. Only Vern (who is probably too big now to get out) and Byrd remain. God protect them. 

9:09, 15:15, 20:20

____

I posted TWICE in the forum today... one on the "Aura Photography" thread, and one in my journal:

FIRST:

Hello loves! A couple of weeks ago I used a search engine to look up the word "Oraphim" (outside the AG) and it took me to “Ophanim” (wiki link here .) which is, fascinatingly, a reference to wheels with eyes like in Ezekiel's vision of the Four Living Creatures.

I'm going to paste/post the whole vision/Chapter 1 of the Book of Ezekiel below.

Today my AG pick was the Heart of the Solar King meditation: ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Heart_of_the_Solar_King
Access here .

...there's more to know... more to feel into... but it was the most powerful meditation/experience I've ever had ... just super aligned... and I was nudged again to share about the Oraphim and Four Living Creatures/wheels connection.

That's all!
Love to all!

Ezekiel 1

1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, on the fifth day of the month, as I was among the captives by the River Chebar, that the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God. 2 On the fifth day of the month, which was in the fifth year of King Jehoiachin’s captivity, 3 the word of the Lord came expressly to Ezekiel the priest, the son of Buzi, in the land of the Chaldeans by the River Chebar; and the hand of the Lord was upon him there.

4 Then I looked, and behold, a whirlwind was coming out of the north, a great cloud with raging fire engulfing itself; and brightness was all around it and radiating out of its midst like the color of amber, out of the midst of the fire. 5 Also from within it came the likeness of four living creatures. And this was their appearance: they had the likeness of a man. 6 Each one had four faces, and each one had four wings. 7 Their legs were straight, and the soles of their feet were like the soles of calves’ feet. They sparkled like the color of burnished bronze. 8 The hands of a man were under their wings on their four sides; and each of the four had faces and wings. 9 Their wings touched one another. The creatures did not turn when they went, but each one went straight forward.

10 As for the likeness of their faces, each had the face of a man; each of the four had the face of a lion on the right side, each of the four had the face of an ox on the left side, and each of the four had the face of an eagle. 11 Thus were their faces. Their wings stretched upward; two wings of each one touched one another, and two covered their bodies. 12 And each one went straight forward; they went wherever the spirit wanted to go, and they did not turn when they went.

13 As for the likeness of the living creatures, their appearance was like burning coals of fire, like the appearance of torches going back and forth among the living creatures. The fire was bright, and out of the fire went lightning. 14 And the living creatures ran back and forth, in appearance like a flash of lightning.

15 Now as I looked at the living creatures, behold, a wheel was on the earth beside each living creature with its four faces. 16 The appearance of the wheels and their workings was like the color of beryl, and all four had the same likeness. The appearance of their workings was, as it were, a wheel in the middle of a wheel. 17 When they moved, they went toward any one of four directions; they did not turn aside when they went. 18 As for their rims, they were so high they were awesome; and their rims were full of eyes, all around the four of them. 19 When the living creatures went, the wheels went beside them; and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up. 20 Wherever the spirit wanted to go, they went, because there the spirit went; and the wheels were lifted together with them, for the spirit of the [d]living creatures was in the wheels. 21 When those went, these went; when those stood, these stood; and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up together with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

22 The likeness of the firmament above the heads of the [g]living creatures was like the color of an awesome crystal, stretched out over their heads. 23 And under the firmament their wings spread out straight, one toward another. Each one had two which covered one side, and each one had two which covered the other side of the body. 24 When they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of many waters, like the voice of the Almighty, a tumult like the noise of an army; and when they stood still, they let down their wings. 25 A voice came from above the firmament that was over their heads; whenever they stood, they let down their wings.

26 And above the firmament over their heads was the likeness of a throne, in appearance like a sapphire stone; on the likeness of the throne was a likeness with the appearance of a man high above it. 27 Also from the appearance of His waist and upward I saw, as it were, the color of amber with the appearance of fire all around within it; and from the appearance of His waist and downward I saw, as it were, the appearance of fire with brightness all around. 28 Like the appearance of a rainbow in a cloud on a rainy day, so was the appearance of the brightness all around it. This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord.




SECOND:


Oh my goodness LauraLou! I just saw your amazing post and aura photo share! Thank you for sharing this. What a beautiful story and I am so grateful to be on the ascension path with YOU too!! Very cool photo.

I’ve been meaning to get back to this thread for a long time …or it feels like it… I guess it’s only been a month or two. But one of the many gifts that came as a result and answer to this post was my new friend and sister, Edwige, a fellow ES member. She is French and reached out to me via private message to share her experience with auras.

Turns out that this is what she does for a living and has been practicing for a long time. I believe that in DRT she will chime in because she has so much wisdom to share about this topic. I was grateful and honored that she sent me a private message to share her insight about my particular aura as well as the history and explanation of aura photography vs. the fullness of our true aura. My high-level takeaways are that photos such as the one in LauraLou’s post above this one (and my first post on this thread) depict a 2D slice of one’s aura which is filtered through Ai in a way, so it’s not a perfect science, but it IS a signpost.

Edwige has a wonderful website and this page is my favorite as it explains what some of the aura colors mean:
www.conscioushumanacademy.fr/les-auras-p...vailleurs-de-lumiere

My browser gave me the option to translate to English from French so I can read it well… if that doesn’t happen for you, PM me and I’ll copy and paste it for you. It’s fantastic!! Turns out my aura is a “Ruby” aura and it feels verrrrry on point for me… resonates strongly. I’ll share this part of the webpage below.

I also took the opportunity to share session space with Edwige. She has a wonderful woman who helps with translation and it was an eye-opening and beautiful session that I wish for everyone to experience!

Thanks to everyone who is feeling into this with me! Lots of love to you all!
Love, Carissa
 

“Ruby” auras:
The majority of their aura is a mixture of red and violet colors, ranging in shades from magenta to purple.
They carry in a particular way the " Divine Fire " in order to bring back Order, that is to say to bring back into reality on Earth the natural balance , the natural organization , to burn what no longer takes place. to be and rekindle the torch of divine justice. They are inspired by the energy of resurrection , to resurrect the original human, which implies working to bring back the new human energy template, which we are all doing too. However, the rubies, advance, particularly, by existential crises, from the " little deaths " to be reborn constantly to something greater than themselves.

This is why their aura is composed of the two ends of the Light spectrum: red and violet. They are able to draw inspiration from spiritual fields or their need for spiritual practice, for example, to be in motion, in action and concrete. They experiment by themselves these extremes in order to make the path of healing inside themselves, to find the point of the right balance , to neutralize their polarities, to reintegrate their masculine and feminine sacred (which all have to do but specifically the ruby), to then manifest it concretely in their actions.

To carry the Divine fire directs the way of Ruby towards the training of the Mastery in the matter . He lives everything in his body, in a sensitivity without filter and in a direct way. It is appropriate for them to develop their roots , especially since they participate in the anchoring of new energies on Earth by their activatable potential of 1 to 5 strands of DNA.

Rubies develop ideas and behaviors towards everything that brings back to the nature of things, towards the essential essence and the fundamental . They therefore need to unfold a lot in nature and with nature, since they have a subtle connection to the different animal, vegetable and mineral kingdoms, and particularly to the elementals.

They are often leaders, artists, handymen, geniuses, alchemists, creators of new ways of “doing” and living, creator or builder of gardens, habitats or alternative places, intuitive-instinctive, reconciler of conflicts, a reinforcement for what can appear weak because they are especially sensitive to injustice and indignity….

They can also be led to travel a lot or change places, or entourage in order to experience, spread and convey this energy through life and matter. They are passionate, capable of great devotion, a beautiful quality that they can live in reverse if they omit a certain discernment , detachment , which can make them vulnerable to the program of disappointment and disillusion , to impulse and anger, being intransigent, or having difficulty making choices.