YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO SUGAR, DON'T EAT IT!!!!!
Get it through your thick skull!! It makes you feel BAD. It makes you LOOK BAD. Your eyes are droopy, your body disconnects from Source energy. You are POISONED. It is POISON. DON'T EAT IT.
It triggers addiction. You are a sugar ADDICT. You are ALLERGIC to it. STOP EATING IT. Why does this not compute??!!!
ps. I was ready to give up on Ryan and then I got this song and message from God again... HANG ON! Gah!!
Emailed to myself:
A messageAgainHang onTo the light in your eyesTo the love drunk original feelingThese things take time
YeahHang in
Processing with Rosemary- dry drunk - anger - feels good - demonic- pain body feeding. He doesn’t want that - his demons are trying to feed on me. Compassionate witness and don’t feed them. Say okay, maybe? But he’s so smart he’ll see through my game. But I don’t want to engage with that pain body. Neutral. We will love each other. Practice.
So I'll just hang on and also focus on caring for my own heart.
So hang on to the light in your eyes and the feeling
So hang on to your love drunk original reason
So much fear-mongering happening. NO. I won't play.
Addiction matrix, I see you. (I ate a massive Sweet Frog today... NO. NO MORE!)
DIVISION from LOVE, I see you. (CLING to LOVE and RYAN.)
____
5:53 and 5:55 - LOVE HEALS the NRG.
"Lady Chatterly's Lover" was an INCREDIBLE movie. I couldn't watch it until now when I can RELATE to the transcendent LOVE that I have experienced with Ryan. I cannot feel and live that in this state of toxicity/poison from food. I must go back to carnivore...or carnivore-ish so that I can feel and be home in my body again.
Amazing movie. Moving. Steamy. Home.
"Lady Chatterly's Lover" was an INCREDIBLE movie. I couldn't watch it until now when I can RELATE to the transcendent LOVE that I have experienced with Ryan. I cannot feel and live that in this state of toxicity/poison from food. I must go back to carnivore...or carnivore-ish so that I can feel and be home in my body again.
Amazing movie. Moving. Steamy. Home.
____
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."~Buddha
_____
Today, 4/13, I saw 4:44 and 22:22 and 11:11 (and 12:34 I think too)
Also had a great lunch with Dee and then faaaaaantastic afternoon and evening with Ryan - great talks. We have the BEST talks and time. I love being with him. We talked for hours and did laundry and shopped and cooked and watched Jeopardy. It's a beautiful life. Grateful for his sensitivity and desire for honest communication. Surprising how sometimes I can be totally honest and he's fine with it, but he sniffs out when I'm working some angle/game (in my own head). He's so dang smart. It's 11:22 now. Time for bed. Need to wake up early for a doctor's appointment - yuck!
Today, 4/13, I saw 4:44 and 22:22 and 11:11 (and 12:34 I think too)
Also had a great lunch with Dee and then faaaaaantastic afternoon and evening with Ryan - great talks. We have the BEST talks and time. I love being with him. We talked for hours and did laundry and shopped and cooked and watched Jeopardy. It's a beautiful life. Grateful for his sensitivity and desire for honest communication. Surprising how sometimes I can be totally honest and he's fine with it, but he sniffs out when I'm working some angle/game (in my own head). He's so dang smart. It's 11:22 now. Time for bed. Need to wake up early for a doctor's appointment - yuck!
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