Keep Moving

Welllll. I had some interesting dreams for sure... and some wisdom pop through as I was waking that helped me to see how when I am talking to Ryan (or anyone???), I could be in the victim/weak polarity, or the controlling/strong polarity. I need to find a way to remain in a neutral state. Those other states offer energetic pushing/pulling of some sort and Ryan bucks at them both. Humble. Gentle. Quiet. Neutral. That's the goal.

I also thought to ask my pendulum if it's in my best interest to stay with Ryan (yes) and if it's in my best interest to dream about Matt (no)... could Matt and I ever be together (no). 

Ryan is my guy. He's just so hard.

But I saw last night such big lessons for me in patience and inner strength. Plus compassion, communication, boundaries, etc. So much.

In a dream my parents were there... they were so cool... and teaching... and Dad was talking about going to prison or something, lol...like "when I was in prison..."... but he was trying to teach a lesson about not swearing. All the people (guys?) I was with were swearing and then my Mom swore too in a story she was telling "mother fucker"... and then my Dad started with his story/lecture/lesson. Ryan was hanging back. He didn't like that.

I think Ryan's soul thought he was going to blow this popsicle stand last time he died and when he came back through he was pissed. He's bitter and needs to accept where he's at, feel what he needs to feel, experience what he needs to experience, CHOOSE LOVE, and THEN he can get out of here. Learn his lesson.

Anyway, there was a part of the dream where we were in some ride ... not a ride... like an eventing station...we had to figure out how to get through it and we did together... both took different routes and ended up together and we swam together....he dove down toward me and we sunk together with the light beaming behind him/us and he was so beautiful... we loved each other so much!

Ryan helps me want to be a better person. That's something. Big.