Had a great walk with God and Rue today (upper Panthertown). God showed me some awesome things! I am still torn up about what I post on my blog... I don't want to be a Pharisee, so I think I need to keep MY thoughts/ what God is telling me to a minimum....so I guess I'll leave the things that God showed me in my journal.
I want to SHARE with people... but I can do that through the relationships that God puts in my life... my real life....
Still wrestling with the enemy and flesh about trying to be "thin"... disappointed that I'm coming to the end of my fast and I haven't lost weight... I HOPED to lose 30 or 40 pounds (I know, that's ridiculous, but I have 50 or 60 to lose). I MAY have lost 10 or 15, but I've lost lots of muscle and strength. Yeah.... okkkkaaaayyyyy.... you convinced me! Let me share this thought-trail from my walk with God this morning:
"God has a plan. REST in it. Walk with Him - don't STRIVE - don't TRY to be something or do something (i.e. lose weight) - just RESPOND. He has asked me to do this juice/liquid fast and besides that He has transformed my taste for the things of the world - I don't have a taste for chemicals, fillers, etc. I actually LOVE to eat healthily. Yes, I like some garbage too, but the Lord is training me away from it (i.e. the ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joes :)). He also gave me a love for the gym... and a desire to HONOR God and respect my future husband by how I care for myself. Walk in that."
I really love the last sentence... it's the HEART of [my pending] transformation!!! He gave me a desire to HONOR God and RESPECT my future husband by how I care for myself. Walk in THAT!
Don't strive. Respond.
Don't crave. Partake in the FEAST the Lord has already provided!
Walk in the spirit, obeying the Holy Spirit at all times.
Oh, okay, ONE MORE little tid-bit from my thoughts from my walk:
"In order not to be ruled by my flesh or soul (sin & self), I must constantly put my spirit first.... when my mind is idle, I think on worldly things (i.e. worries or obsessions such as my stupid body). THAT is why we should MEDITATE ON (mutter) scripture.... to put/keep God's thoughts in our thoughts. REPLACE worldly thoughts with praise, prayer, and scripture."
Health-wise
After my panic attack, I started drinking lots of juice... including lots of organic vegetable juice (like V8), but they didn't have a low-sodium version that didn't have sugar and other fillers in it, so I'm drinking the full-sodium version and it is messing with me some. I'm very puffy. Also I must have a slight allergy to something in it because my face is blotchy, swollen, and dry again. Oh well. I do feel less susceptible to the enemy's attacks when I have more strength in my body but I can't help but wonder if that is GOOD... or if I should allow myself to be weaker so that I can be trained faster??? I also wonder if I'm having as much clarity as I COULD have if I were to be weaker in body? <--- as I type this, I see that this is the enemy trying to trick me. God has been incredibly GRACIOUS in all He has been showing me! I actually can't wait to get back to "real life" to put it into practice.
My BIGGEST [recent] revelation comes from Luke 14:33 "You cannot be my disciple without giving up everything you own."
GIVE EVERYTHING!!!!!
(This is the solution to my selfishness!)
I only have 5 more full days here so I need to make the most of it. Gotta go. Love you! :)
(April 8, 2011 2:03pm)
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