PRIVATE

I just made this blog private. Why will I bother continuing to blog? WILL I continue to blog?? Maybe... as the Spirit of God leads me. We'll see ...

What I DO see...or hear (as it were)... at 3:33am is that I have displeased God. I am seeped in sin... gluttony. After a successful and Spirit-filled 40 day liquid fast, I am now on day 5 of off-boarding and in the 4th day of gluttony-illness-hate-myself fest! I am NOTHING if I am not being obedient to God and I am not able to be obedient to God except through the power of the Holy Spirit. I am being disciplined and as I was journaling I felt convicted that it was because of my Pharisaical (<-- I might have made that word up) behavior in posting (essentially BRAGGING) blogs about my fast. I felt like I needed to get out of my warm bed and come down and take the blog down immediately. So I did. I took the whole thing down. down. down. Locked'er up so that only I can see my posts.

Lord, PLEASE redeem me once again! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! Please come back, Father God, hold me close.... hold my hand.... send the Holy Spirit to teach me and anoint me and use me to glorify Your HOLY Name!! I pray to be transformed into a child that exemplifies (and shines the love and light of) JESUS!!!

Help me to live by your Word. Keep showing me the truth. Please don't take the understanding that You've given me away!! Please cleanse me of my sin - my iniquity!

What does that word MEAN? I've been meaning to look it up for weeks now... Ah: Iniquity -

gross injustice or wickedness; a violation of right or duty; wicked act; sin. (Synonyms =  evildoing, infamy, depravity, knavery.)

I love you Lord.
Thank you for saving me. For choosing me. For Secret Church (tonight) and Journey's Good Friday worship [soaking] service! Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it (and for doing all the creative work on my behalf- design, etc. Your yoke is easy and Your burden is LIGHT! HALLELUJAH!!!)!!

I'm so tired that it just took me 20 minutes to write this 4 minute brain dump. Gooooo tooooooo BEDDY BY! Jesus loves you!! (me)

Holy God, THANK YOU for Jesus! Help me to do all things in remembrance of Him ALL days. Thank you for sending Him and giving me life now in the time where I can have a RELATIONSHIP with this LIVING Savior through the gift of the LIVING Word because of the LIVING Spirit which You have made a way for me to have LIVING in my heart/spirit through the incomprehensible spiritual gift of LIFE through Jesus atonement for my sins on a cross! Inconceivable!! Amen