I just want to tie a ribbon on my battle with myself to "figure out" WHEN I was "saved". I've been wrestling with this off and on for at least a year. While on this little [wonderful 3 week] retreat, God has been revealing some AWESOME stuff to me, including giving me clarity about that! :) :)
So.
In 1991 when I decided to "accept" Christ so that I wouldn't go to hell... despite getting baptized... I didn't have an awareness of my depravity and my sin so I couldn't truly call on Jesus to SAVE me. I didn't know (in my heart) what I was being saved from except this IDEA of "Hell".
In 2005 I DID realize my sin and truly BELIEVED that Jesus (the Risen Lord) came to die on the cross to free me. So I called on my SAVIOR to save me and He did. I was regenerated as my old man (my rotten, stony human spirit) was replaced with a new man (a fleshly and responsive human spirit) and the Holy Spirit came to dwell in my spirit.
From that time on, God, through the Holy Spirit, started working in me...breaking me. Flipping me from a woman who was ruled by her flesh... into a woman who is ruled by her spirit.
January 2, 2010 marked the day that I experienced my High Priest tearing the veil between my soul (self) and my spirit- freeing my spirit to rule and reign over the rest of me. When I got to the end of myself and recognized that the only way to live/to go on was to allow someOne else to take control, then the double edged sword could do its work! (Based on Hebrews 4:12.)
Now I have a different - powerful - intimate - relationship with God - my human spirit guides me by the influence of the Holy Spirit (who lives in me).
Satan and my flesh CONSTANTLY wants to regain control, so it will be a lifelong battle of keeping my body (flesh) and soul (will, mind, emotions) in submission to my spirit (which is in fellowship with the Holy Spirit). If I let body or soul have the reigns, I am dragged away.
Anyyyyyway. I just wanted to clarify that.
<3
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