I just realized the magnitude of this today and needed to share!!
God is TRANSFORMING ME!!!! I don't understand why, or how, but I KNOW it's ALLLLLLLLL HIM!!! WHHHHHAAAAT?!!!!!
I was reflecting on what God has done and wanted to share it. Now, realize that this is definitely a work-in-process, but I want to CELEBRATE the VICTORY as God reveals it!!!
Last year I was SO bound up in myself- in my body- (and not in a good way.) I was trying to satisfy myself - my depraved soul - with food. I KNEW that I was doing this, and I HATED myself!! This, of course just threw fuel on the fire and created this awful pattern of loathing --> guilt --> comfort [which is what made me hate myself in the first place]. I did it to myself. I binged a LOT and would go through massive exercise phases... many years ago I was bulimic.... but throughout it all I just STRIVED (on my own power) to control the monster, which would inevitably (daily) turn on me and CONTROL ME.
Even so, I couldn't see the extent of or recognize the fact that I was IN BONDAGE! Even though I was BLIND, God...faithful God...started working on me....from the inside out!
Today I realized that I am standing here a little over a year later and I:
- Have *new tastebuds* that LOVE healthy food!
- A joy and LOVE for the GYM! Worshiping Jesus there is the BEST!! Something about blaring praise music and praying and worshiping with my body in motion - maybe because I'm using the whole Temple that He's given me - is just maaaarvelous!
- I have been through several short and long term fasts (and a few failed ones) and have learned (continuing to learn) that fasting is not about weight loss...it's about being obedient and responding to God's call to a deeper relationship- more trust- more focus on Him and His WORD! I can't believe it, but God has actually taken me through the "biggest" accomplishment in the fasting realm to date... (well, almost through (I have 3.5 more days))... a 40 day liquid (juice) fast!!! WOW GOD!!!
I asked Him to show me more about me- what He wanted for me- and HE HAS! He has outlined my overarching priority (build a Temple as his sanctuary), as well as three other priorities for me right now (1 = a vision for the future 2= a project for now and 3= my "work").
I asked for a healthier body and He gave me that too! I am rested. Rejuvenated. Cleansed. And I've lost 30 pounds! God has also given me a vision for how to "keep up His work"... and shown me the importance of doing so! He has encouraged me with a wonderful verse (1 Chronicles 28:10 "So take this seriously. The LORD has chosen you to build a Temple as his sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.")
ALL GLORY TO GOD!!
Our Pastor, often says "take the next step, whatever the next step may be". I know that this is all a result of doing just that. Even if I just look back a step or two, I see that it took me months to finally say "yes" to God's request that I give up sugar but when I did (in February), He BLESSED it!! He not only gave me the strength that I needed to be obedient, but He eventually trusted me with another step!! (The step that followed was His request that I partake in a 40 day liquid fast.) MY GOODNESS! It's SURREAL!! HOW does this WORK?!! WOW!!! (I'm floored!)
I have been blogging along the way in the fast and I'll "publish" all those in a bit. I'm sorry in advance for anyone who is getting my blog in their "Google reader" account because I am going to BLOW that UP for a minute! :)
Thank you, LORD, for LOVING me SO!
Keep doing the GREAT work that you are doing in us.... until it is finished.... on the day when Christ Jesus returns!! (<--based on Philippians 1:6)
<3
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