The Fast: Day 7

Soooooooo..... I JUST realized that old tricky pants (Satan) is trying to trick me into making this fast about BOYS...or specifically A boy. Today I actually had the gall to say to God that I was fasting on behalf of this one guy - that I am praying for surrender.... to ask God to save him by the end of my fast! ARGH!!! (That talk with God DID lead to me praying for two other guys that I am ALSO praying would surrender!)... I don't know why I like to pray for men- I think I am sick in the head. I need to be praying more fervently for all my GIRLS too!!!! I'm admitting (confessing with intent to repent) that I am praying MORE fervently and often for the guys than the girls.... that is BAD. I am BAD. I am.

So- this fast is NOT about a man or two or three... it's about ME and JESUS... it's about MY LOVE RELATIONSHIP with the ONLY ONE who MATTERS! I have been deceived.

*I'd also like to note that I feel that my prayers for women feel more real- I feel like I can intercede for them much better- I feel more connected to the spirit realm when I pray for females.... so maybe I should take the hint. :)

While I'm on a roll, let me admit that I've also spent waaaaaaaay too much time looking in the mirror- waiting for and watching my chubby body change. I MUST NOT make this about that. I must keep this about PURSUING GOD. Now, I KNOW that He has me doing this for health reasons too- but they are secondary. I KNOW He wants me to look at my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit and to revere it and make it WORTHY of the Most High.... but again... that is secondary.

I am resting more.
I am reading more.
I am in the Word more.
God has given me the opportunity to have some great conversations with people.
I am much more at peace.
Yesterday I was more filled with joy than in a LONG time!! I was full of BEANS <-- not literally - ha! :)  I am learning to be hungry for HIM alone.  The other day the coolest thing happened -->  first thing in the morning when I woke up I went to the bathroom to take my shower (hm. Pause there. I need to figure this out. WHY was I taking a shower FIRST thing in the morning?!!!! I spend time with JESUS first thing in the morning?!! OHHHH YEAH- it was Sunday and I had to be at church at 7 and we just had to change the clocks so that day I decided to study the Bible in the afternoon but I PRAYED in the morning. Okay.)..... ANYWAY, I put on my iPhone-iPod on shuffle and the song that came up spoke RIGHT to my heart, it was "Hungry" by Kathryn Scott:

Lyrics: 
Hungry I come to you
For I know you satisfy
I am empty but I know
your love does not run dry

So I wait for you
So I wait for you

Im falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus your all this heart is living for

Broken I run to you
For your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know
Your love does not run dry

So I wait for you
So I wait for you 

And the Lord DREW me to Him.... then while I was before His throne, He took me in my mind to the verse in Psalm 80:10b where it says "Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things." It was a sweet time with Him. <3

God is SO PERSONAL and PRESENT.

Anyway, so far so good with the fast. I only fasted for a partial day on "Day 1" so I feel like I'm actually behind a little, but it will catch up. Physically I'm a little hungry but that is easily quenched when I spend time with God. I DO have TERRIBLE breath and yesterday I went to get alfalfa tablets which I heard would help, but they made me hungry (I think they kicked my intestines back into gear) and they also didn't help- I think my breath just smelled MORE like a COW. Awesome. I hope it gets better soon. :)

Tomorrow I get to go to a church planting conference (*blessed!!!!) and help hand out Triangle Church Planting Network cards and I'm TERRIFIED of breathing on someone!! EEP!! Lord, please take away my bad breath and give me breath like freshly fallen snow.... crisp and fresh!

So anyway, I'm hungry for Him...