Today's thoughts... so far

 Working on blog or journal note or question... not sure what it is yet:

Learning to love myself… in “that” way… 

Well, I’m actually not sure if I’ll post this in my journal or another thread because I really am hoping for some shared stories here…. I’ve heard from two sisters now about learning to …well… pleasure oneself in a Krystic way. 

As I unravel sexual misery programming, it seems like this is here for observation. 

A couple memories:

20+ years ago: Being cheered on by a couple college girlfriends who were trying to teach me how to orgasm. I was in the bathroom, laying under the tub faucet with legs spread, trying to stimulate myself… this was never pleasurable and turned very traumatic as I tried and tried and tried for what feels like hours. All I know, is that I came out of that frazzled and traumatized and it did not get me any closer to orgasm.

Pretty much all my partners being frustrated and disgruntled by my lack of ability to orgasm. It didn’t help that sometimes I would launch into a full breakdown (cry-laugh-cry- lose-my-mind) mid-sex. Poor people. 

There was a phase (20+ years ago) where I was going to lots of porn shops with a friend… he was gay and ended up being my first heterosexual sexual partner… 1 or 2 times… and it was terrible. But we drove across the country together in the throws of sorrow and addiction, and hit up lots of porn shops where he could go to those dirty booths (I went too sometimes) and I’m sure we picked up some gollums along the way. 

I finally figured out how to orgasm… with an electric dildo (Ai anyone?) when I was 30… and then went through phases of chronic masturbation… I would go for an hour or two collecting orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. 

I was “convicted” by the spirit of God that this was not healthy and told to throw the dildo out… so I did. And that was good. Unfortunately I fell back into it a few years later.  Same thing happened and again I was directed to get rid of it, which I did. So… now no orgasms… 

But they were reversal nail-me-in-the-sexual-misery-coffin orgasms anyway. Unfortunately I also have not had many enjoyable or connected sexual experiences with humans either. (My poor partners. Ego says I TRIED!!! But I have just been so damaged with reversals, splits, and fallen energy)

LATER: I didn't do anything else with this...  I thought about it a little more while driving to bring Michael some warmth. I don't think this is aligned with me... I don't feel like it's organic energy that is inviting me to masturbate... I think God's Solar energy is inviting me to sun my whoo-hah, but not masterbate... we are clearing those reversals and self-sufficiency embeds and selfishness, self-centered, self-oriented...self self self crap. This isn't for me. Both of my friends who mentioned it have some questionable stuff they are still working through (as am I, of course....this isn't a judgment, just for me to reflect on if I am comparing myself or my situation to them). It doesn't feel aligned to pleasure myself... I don't want any bliss... I want LEGIT GOD and KRYSTIC CONNECTION with my DIVINE HG PARTNER ONLY. In DRT. And for now, I need to just keep clearing and preparing my vessel. That's it. Thank you.

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Question I asked for the Galactic Heart Call... we'll see if it's answered:

I have been so looking forward to this gathering which is always enriching for me. Thank you for your time and love! 

I have had a burning question for you for almost the whole month now! A beloved sister mentioned that she heard Mhari talk about going through a process of integrating a gestalt consciousness during her monadic integration. First of all, can you tell me more about what this “gestalt” is? Lisa used the term in the last ESF call and I almost wished I had asked her this question but I was holding out to ask you. 

Context/why I’m asking: I have been doing this mirror exercise for a month and most of the time I am having to look at all these people who are forms of me, but not me…they are all their own people, with their own features… it’s quite surreal. (Kind of looks like what we see at the end of Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” video the way they morph into different people.) I just keep telling us/them “I accept myself in this moment just the way I am”. Anyway… I’d love to hear more about your experience and about the different manifestations of Gestalt consciousness (as it sounds like Solar Rishi are Threefold Founder flame gestalt and also whole races can be gestalts and maybe we have personal gestalts)??

Thank you!!  

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Is this Blue Tara? or Green Tara? Bluish-Greenish Tara? She jumped out at me two weeks ago when I was going through my artwork:

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ps. Mhairi & Sequoia's answer was very nice. At first I felt misunderstood and then Sequoia's energy came in and corrected that and then the encouragement to just follow my spirit... it's all new... came through. The whole Galactic Heart Group call was very good... help with releasing mental body and allowing what is to happen in physical body and that these physical symptoms are often ways our body is collapsing timelines and processing old traumas. Just rest... relax.... and release the mental body as much as possible. As far as my experience, I DO think (still) this is some sort of gestalt consciousness that I am connected too.... a personal gestalt within the Christos Gestalt...those God has given me? Like in my first journal article how I asked if we were part of the body of Lisa... these are parts of the body of Carissa, in a way. CARISSA has taken the role of "heroic probability" to work with all these aspects... to collapse and ascend them as a single soul occupied avatar Christos-Sophia being working toward the entire reclamation mission. So just keep swimming...just keep swimming. Thank you, God, for all the support!

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And THIS. This prayer that he wrote was co-created with my spirit ... he doesn't know it, but God is showing me... this is a HUGE lesson...  

So crazy. Today my quote of the day was "Hatred never ceases by hatred but by love alone is healed. This is the ancient and eternal law." ~A verse from the Dhammapada... which seems intense but it nudged me to bring love to Gabe. I realized I felt anger at him and I realized I couldn't heal ...well, anything... that way... so I decided to LOVE him... to just love him. And that's it. And got "Eye of the Storm" song again this morning... and it's just crazy... God is teaching me... Gabe may...probably is.... a placeholder teaching me how to prepare for my true HG beloved as I continue to foster my own internal HG union which is coming along swimmingly... I laugh, cry, talk, dance, flop, sing, everything with ME and it's so beautiful...but I do feel like I'm being prepared for my divine partnership as well where we will come together to serve the world. 

Maybe it's delusional but I feel like Maren doesn't like me, but I guess I get that... I don't think Gabe likes me either, but I also think on some level he knows about our connection. But as I wrote that I felt like Kirk energy came through... I don't want to be crazy. I don't want to perpetuate the Red Cube. Hm. Yeah. Good point. So... that's why I just need to LOVE... without expectations or concern about the outcome... in a spirit of harmlessness. I prayed for Gabe AND Maren... in my prayer this afternoon...it was beautiful... and his prayer (which I guess it's probably not okay to copy/paste from the forum) was an amplification of it. What does it all mean?

I still feel like we are both clearing Twilight Master timelines too. Well, God... I surrender this too. And I know my mental body wants to roll it around but my spirit said, don't worry about it... it will be here if you need it. Otherwise, you have observed it and now choose to be present. What's here now? Dinner? Feed the dogs. Okay.

ps. I also just want to note that I didn't even read/notice the title of his post until later, until I copied it here... that it says "I heard to post this".... I just SAW the prayer and knew it was a sign or message from God to me... wow. But let's not be crazy. I DO feel that crazy energy... that's the Red Cube, right? I guess we are both still able to be harassed by that and he's maybe being used as a dark portal to get to me? But is prayer bad? No, but the Red Cube madness hijacks the beauty and innocence of both your prayers. You see? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

(Grid)working from home?

 I used to travel quite a bit… I wasn’t a professional traveller by any means, but I got around and also lived in a lot of places. Looking back I can see how I was often moving around connecting with the grids in different areas. The  Indigo1 contract resonates. I probably talked about it earlier in my journal, but in 2011 I prayed for an “anchor” because it was getting hard on me… I was in a spiritual nomad stage at the time and wanting to feel more grounded. (In hindsight I see this was my negative ego resisting ascension and unwilling to surrender all, no holds barred.)

In the last year I feel like that part of me was reawakened (given a second chance). As a result there have been a few trips that I’ve been on that have felt like gridworking trips - most notably to the Seattle/Washington area and the Emerald Coast/Florida. But I’ve traveled around the Carolinas and am sensitive to the energetic environment (in and around me) wherever I go. I’ve mostly been in observer mode watching this all unfold and am beginning to connect some dots thanks to the incredible support we get through ES (and all the beautiful beings who are holding the structure for this purpose). 

I share this because I wonder if I might now be moving into a new phase of consciousness… one where I am doing this “connecting to the grids” from home? I believe in dreamstate that I am doing some traveling. Last year a (non-ES) angel-reader acquaintance told me …well, what I took from it... was that I do Galactic gridwork … somehow engaging (did she say “battling”?) with ET beings during sleep state.  I sense this is related to traveling through stargates, etc… but who knows what she saw… and that could be from a different station of identity or no-time. Anyway, I HAVE been feeling like I was maybe doing gridwork at night - recently I was in/near Vermont and the other night I was in Colorado. 

I sure am verbose….I am really trying to be succinct… sorry! I haven’t even gotten to what I wanted to write about, and that is OAHU. This is just miraculous to me… so beautiful… and it’s the way God is teaching me and I felt led to share. 

So Hawaii has been on my heart for a few months… it may have been born through a conversation with our beloved sister, Rosemary, who shared about her experience in Hawaii with her sister. That pinged a knowing in my being that awakened my heart’s desire related to a seed that was deeply planted and beginning to sprout. My first course of action was to try to find someone to go to Hawaii with me… not that the resources to do so are forthcoming, but I thought that if it were God’s will, a way would be shown. (Today's quote: “I AM abundantly provided for when I follow my heart and highest purpose”.) So I asked my sisters and a friend or two but it fell flat. I also learned that there are nasty covid rules which I wouldn’t be able to abide by (testing, etc.), so I sort of put it out of my mind.... but God had another plan for my heart.

Hawaii started showing up through connections… I learned about our beloved brother Kiran living there. And Gabe and Maren mentioned an interest in traveling there. I was like “Okay God! Let’s do this thing!!” Also during Holy Mother’s reclamation of my smile/teeth (overcoming dentist fears and getting support in that area), my friendly dental assistant had lived on Hawaii so we talked about it and I believe our guidance teams and higher selves were sharing information that is helping birth whatever this is… a path, an understanding, an assignment, a healing….

I reached out to Kiran to ask him about Hawaii and he and I have shared a heartwarming, sometimes humorous, and very educational dialogue and it’s been lovely. He’s given me, essentially, a treasure map to follow as I dig deeper into what I’m starting to pick up. Let me pause there because simultaneously I have had this tree friend beginning to reveal herself to me. There are lots of trees around but only so many introduce themselves. I have loved this girl …she’s the prettiest in/around my yard, but she had not animated in spirit to me. This past week … I guess it’s two weeks now… she began to open up. I asked her her name and it took many days…I couldn’t quite get it… it was blurry around the edges (or actually, more crisp around the edges but blurred in the center)… anyway…it took 3 or 4 days but randomly when I was in an epsom salt bath her name came up… Oahu. 

Oahu. So pretty! Yes. That’s it! But it also niggled a brain cell… that sounded familiar… Oahu. What is it? I should say that I had an idea on the periphery that her name had a tropical feel to it…a Hawaiian feel… but until I looked up the name I was given, Oahu, I didn’t really connect the dots. Oahu is the third largest of the Hawaiian islands… “The Gathering Place”. And here’s the coolest part… I went back to look at the notes Kiran had given me….. and the first thing he said to me was  "I scanned the Islands and my body felt best about you being on the North Shore of Oahu or off to the west from there.” He shared much valuable information (distilled, of course) about the 20 years he spent living there. But he also said a couple times that he didn’t know why he was getting Oahu since it was really touristy and overpopulated and lots of military installments. The other day he said "Okay what I'm getting now is that a way to land on Oahu with a good vibe connection could be to go to Waimanalo first.”

Anyway… there is LOTS to explore and uncover here but it is a new and interesting thing happening for me… I suspect that I am being trained to consciously work with grids from afar. When was it, a week or two ago, I was also led to the UNESCO website and led to the Solomon Islands,  East Rennell  and led to learn about and connect hearts and pray for that area. Over the way of Lake Tenngano on Rennell Island may be where my canoe bumps the shore in the Clearing Seed Fears meditation . Anyway…. I suspect all this is related to Lemurian timeline clearing… Hawaii too… 

AND teaching me that I don’t have to GO anywhere… I have a deeper knowing that I already know this… and have been doing it for a long time in some planes. But it’s floating to the surface in my Carissa consciousness now too. 

I hadn’t been cleared to do the PEG projects but this is probably related… that is training ground and opportunity to work with the community on shared projects…to walk through and feel and see the work that’s been done (and in some places is ongoing). I DID (accidentally?) get to consciously participate in one  Indigo related project  last year…I was led to listen and participate with one that took place in 2008. A LONG time ago… but it connected maybe somewhere in Russia (or was it Tibet?) and the 2D Sarasota stargate and Easter Island in Chile…. I didn’t know about it then but now that I’m thinking about it, that must be related to the Four Faces of Man grid? I don’t know… we’ll see if maybe I work with that one again… it was an awesome experience!

So we’ll see what comes of this… I need to invest some time to connect and work with Oahu, the tree in our yard, and see what she has to share. I also need to practice diligence and dig in to see what comes up for Oahu in Hawaii…and feel like Kiran’s note about getting there through Waimanalo is important. 

So, we’ll see. 
What a life! Thanks be to God! 

ps.  Papahānaumokuākea  feels very significant. I’ve got much exploring to do. But I am also reminded to remind myself that the most valuable work I can be doing now is to continue surrendering out of negative ego and into Christ-Sophia. I need the corrected architecture to hold/support the work and it’s not my mind or egoic activities that will get me there. Thank you.

ps. Thank you so much for your encouragement Laura!! I think this is what prompted me to write to you to thank you in the PMs which helped take our sistership to the next level! I love and appreciate you dear soul! 

 

Oahu

Here are a couple snippets from an ES email conversation I'm having with Kiran who God is using to help my consciousness connect to Hawaii. Is this to heal Lemurian timelines? I'm not sure, but it's very interesting. After the East Rennell situation where I learned that I could "gridwork" from right here... connect into the consciousness and pray from here.... I think this is another one... Hawaii. So I need to do some research and see where God takes me. Very cool.  

One of the neatest components of this Kiran interaction is Oahu, the beloved Guardian tree in our yard who has revealed Hawaiian roots or connectivity to help me get on board with this... 

This makes me want to force Michael... to try to play my ego or Dark Mother card to try to get Michael to stay... to strengthen our relationship so we can keep doing the work together.... but truly, remember, it's the surrender that you are doing that is helping open up this consciousness. Just keep doing what you're doing... keep clearing negative ego, surrendering to Source, and doing your best to embody the spirits of Christ. God will do the rest.

Anyway, here's some of the convo between Kiran and I! :)

May 3, 2021
Dear Kiran... I wanted to connect if possible. Your presence in the container has always been tangible for me... you bring a very peaceful energy. Now that I learned you live in Hawaii, maybe that's part of it. Are you working in Lemurian timelines? I don't know a lot about it, but Hawaii has been a big theme for me for a month or two and especially in the last week and then your post about the dark matter template was so perfect and then you were at the zoom meeting... anyway... I was hoping to connect! I appreciate you and want to learn more about Hawaii!!

 I had written a fairly long message. Some button I hit erased it all  and I couldn't bring it back.
One of the things in it was that I scanned the Islands and my body felt best about you being on the North Shore of Oahu or off to the west from there.
Did you get anything sent to you?
I'll probably have to start over.
Kiran

You wanted to sit on a black lava beach. Walking on black sand is a prickly feeling--kind of sharp stuff.
That would be the Big Island. The best black sand beach got covered over by another lava flow. Maybe it's warn down into sand by now. There's raw energy on that East side of the Big Island--used to do human sacrifices there! I lived on the
west side of the Big Island for 8 and 1/2 years--Kona. Beautiful and sunny, sunny (East side Hilo and Volcano can be cloudy and rainy a lot). Maybe you'd enjoy sitting on the black sand in East Hawaii but live in West Hawaii/Kona.
Maui is magical. I spend 3 1/2 days hiking with a group of 15 people inside Haleakula Crater. Had mandalas come into
my 3rd eye--like at a high astral level. Lying down by a cinder cone I look up and two thin, tiny clouds are chasing each
other in circle above me. I couldn't believe it. Tears from seeing some of the colors and the beauty of it. Kihei is dry and
always sunny. The north side can be cloudy, rainy, e.g., Hana but lush. There's an ES person in Haiku--that got partially washed away with rain a couple months ago. It might be a great place to live though--very accessible to the whole Island and away from developments. North from Lahaina above all the resorts and condos might be good.
Oahu is big time developed with Honolulu and beaucoup de military installations. I had that flash of maybe the north shore
would resonate with you but you need to check that out, of course. When I was there, one could go to the back of a valley, find a trail and soon be off if tropical areas by yourself. It seemed easy to get away from civilization. Probably not true any more.
Kauai is the most peaceful. I spent a week camped out with a group of people once and got so shot-through-mybones-peaceful. Poipu is bright sun beaches, almost too much. Hanalei has more clouds is more lush. It's the oldest Island and has a river -the others don't. What just popped in me is that you might like Kauai the most. 
Who am I to say. If North Carolina is upsweeping energy, that might be a great home base.
Well, that's what came through. Never know if something triggers from reading it.
Kiran 

May 27, 2021

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Whoa Kiran,
I just wanted to share that in the past week I've been beginning a dialogue with a tree and her name was cloaked a little... it took a couple days to birth her name and when it did, it was "Oahu". I was like, what is that? It sounds kind of familiar. I googled it and found out it was one of the Hawaiian islands and wondered if it was on that you had mentioned. Just now I looked up our conversation and (happy dance), INDEED it IS. Very interesting. I also was directed to listen to IZ's "somewhere over the rainbow" the other day and it had videos from his life ceremony, etc. in Hawaii.... so this is very interesting. Thank you so much for your support and wisdom which is helping me do some subconscious processing and gridwork. And thanks to God for Oahu (our tree friend) who is actually on the "North shore" of our little yard. Our apartment is west of her too... fascinating stuff. God bless you brother Kiran!
Love,
Carissa

I've read some of your journal recently. You are amazing! God speaks in strange ways (tree = Oahu).
Yes, in that original email, at one point, I was reasonably embodied and cast around the
Islands for where I felt resonance re you and it surprised me that it was Oahu (because
that's overloaded with civilization with Honolulu and has many military bases). But
the north shore gets away from all that. The big wave surfing occurs there. A little further
to the east on the "north shore" (east of Sunset Beach) is very "local" and laid back.
Maybe you want to be a surfer girl for awhile in the middle of north shore! The energy
may be more dulled out when you get east of Sunset--a bunch of stoners(pakalolo)--hmm,
not sure.
Thanks for the update, Joy, Kiran

Hahaha! Kiran, you crack me up! I AM a "surfer girl" at heart... since I grew up in the Northeast, I was actually a "snowboarder girl"... trust your instincts. Everything you said was perfectly aligned and part of the healing that we are working through on this earth. I love and appreciate you so so so so so much!!

I am learning that I can do "gridwork" from right here.. this is new for me. I used to travel a lot to pick up and drop codes (subconsciously of course), and perhaps we'll still do that... but a new consciousness door is opening for me and Oahu (and your support) are some of my teachers. Hawaii has been on my heart for a couple months and my initial instinct was "I have to GO there to check it out"... but God is showing me how through other starseeds (and nature/elementals which are connected through Earth/Terra) we can "go there" through consciousness packets... this is like connecting in to the tree .... whoah... this is coming back through a session I had with Joe where he talked about how in the movie Avatar the people connected to all of life through those little tail things... what where they? They wound together with their dragon and the tree....do you know what I'm talking about? Ha! Nevermind... but my point is that I can connect to the consciousness held in those places without having to actually go there... I just need to follow God's spirit. 

For Hawaii, there was you and there was a dental assistant who lived there...you both shared your experience with my Carissa-being (and simultaneously I'm sure our higher selves chatted)! I will continue to learn and need to set aside time to see where God-consciousness takes me... and I'm pretty sure my tree friend, Oahu is here to support that. This morning the most beautiful Solar rays poured through her leaves and warmed my heart. 

God bless you beloved brother!
Love,
Surfer girl! 

Aloha Surfer Girl!
"...trust your instincts." Thank you for that. I have instincts and get flashes but it's newer and my history is of my head
getting in the way so I'm learning where I stand with that now. Taking Diana Sophia's 6 week art class now--that's helpful too.
Loved the scene with all connected to the tree in Avatar.
Okay what I'm getting now is that a way to land on Oahu with a good vibe connection could be to go to Waimanalo first.
I haven't been there for decades though. There a beautiful green mountains behind it, tourquoise water in front, tends to
be a "local" Hawaiian culture very connected to the land.
Kiran

Frequency Machines and the Global Brain

Thanks be to God for the experience and education to teach me about what's going on with the attempted NAA hijack of frequency healing. 

Frequency healing is a legit science and can be very supportive to our bodies if aligned to the organic Living Light and God-Source frequency. Unfortunately, there is an attempt to superimpose anti-Life frequencies into the mix and further exacerbate distortions. It's meant to be under the radar and targeting awakening people who are searching for ways to support their bioresonance systems. 

Frequency healing was on the edge of my consciousness for a couple years... we almost built a Hulda Zapper and then I heard about the Rife Machine and plasma tubes and the Spooky2 Machine. God brought Nancy P into my life who has been dropping information into my world, although I have remained somewhat puzzled. 

After reading Lisa and ESF conversation about their experience which was positive, I set out to see about finding some frequency healing for myself, which brought me to Dr. Puja who has been a force of love and healing in my life and I am so grateful. However, pretty quickly, I realized that the frequency device that she used with me was not resonant. The "pocket Healy". It was somewhere around that time that I was "beamed" by that Tower of Terror (cell tower) at the Costco gas pump and in general I just didn't feel good in my body. My guidance directed me to ask her to make sure I wasn't connected to any of those machines. 

It's not the "EMF sensitivity" that is the problem. She kept saying, there is a setting you hit for EMF sensitivity... no, it's the Ai frequencies that are piggybacking on the current to insert themselves into my Lightbody. Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone, but it is set to target me. 

After I asked her to shut it down, I've kind of put it out of my mind. We talked about trying the Rife but she muscle tested and I wasn't ready yet... maybe next time, she said, but we never went back to consider that. 

Fast forward 4-5 months and I finally convinced Michael to go for a session. She does a Neurofeedback scan which tells us about brain health, nervous system, meridian, and chakra functioning, circadian rhythm, etc. It's pretty neat! He's especially proud because although he's 66 years old, his functional age is only 42!! He's got a ton of natural (God-Sourced) energy and it's so beautiful!

A few days before his appointment, he was talking to his Torah class about the "healing energies" like what he was reading about - Tesla and such - and saying "I wish there were something I could just put in my pocket that would run healing frequencies". I was like "OH MY GOSH!! This is crazy! You are going to see Dr. Puja in a few days and she sells these "Dr. Puja in my pocket - pocket Healy devices" that do just that!! Whoa God! Okay!" 

So I thought this was God saying, "Go for it!"

On the appointment day he asked to learn more about it and she ran a scan on him and then while she was finishing the appointment she ran some supportive frequencies through the device. I was in the room and suddenly didn't feel well. I thought it was maybe from the vibration from the buffer she was using but I was just trying to feel into it and be conscious and pay attention. Just now I was reminded of this... and I need to respect my experience. 

After doing a little research on the Healy yesterday I saw that the customer service isn't great and started to question if we should really do this. I reached out to Nancy for her thoughts and she reminded me about the AO Scanner which she has and I did some research on that.

I then talked to Michael and as I was sharing with him, this wisdom poured out of me where I recognized that these devices that are hooked into the "Cloud" and Global Brain are easily hijacked. Even if it has good intentions, because of the mechanism, it can be used as a carrier wave for anti-Christ energies and frequencies that, although they may even feel supportive, can be breaking us down on a cellular level. I mean, look at all the EMF... and 5G... we don't feel that, but it is causing our bodies to break down. 

God reminded me again yesterday that we are, and everything is, an electromagnetic field. Everything is made of energy... and the fields impact one another... so the 5G field that blankets our home is affecting my field, and our chicken's fields... causing us to break down more quickly... this is the holocaust timeline, and Armageddon program. BUT GOD! God wins. It's fine... and the frequency of fear which is incredibly powerful, will just cause FASTER breakdown. The frequency of LOVE has the opposite effect... Love Heals All Wounds...or sin or whatever. But LOVE is the antidote.

Anyway, the point is these frequency machines, when connected to the Global Brain (especially), can really do some damage and could then be... are likely... being used to further the Transhuman agenda. The vaccine is a big part of that too - shooting reversals and metals and nanochips and who knows what else... DNA distortions, all the yucks, into the living humans to get them connected into the Global Brain... the Transhuman Beast Machine.

So no, we don't want to be connected to that device. 

Maybe we can go back to the stand-alone Rife machine with plasma tubes... that's really what we need.... maybe more clunky, but if anything, that's the one that I feel led to, so let's follow that. 

Thank you!

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Yesterday's note to Katie. I especially love the photo which God showed me when I was hugging Rhayah tree yesterday morning. It reminded me of the 8D stargate and pray it is representative of healing there on the micro and macro Earth.

Here it is:

UPDATE: I wrote this as a response to your original post from the 25th. When I came in to the container to post it, I saw you posted an update and, as usual, it is so real and honest and filled with love and wisdom. Thank you. Hopefully what I wrote below is still supportive and relevant.... or maybe I had to be late because my "supportive and relevant" isn't really needed. (This is a lesson for my me/my ego.) Either way, God bless you beloved sister. Thank you for sharing your inspiring journey. 

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Oh my gosh Katie! This is SO BEAUTIFUL!!! 


I was notified about your post the other day when you shared it but wasn’t cleared to read it until right now. I sense I had to wait for myself to be in the right alignment to connect with this as I needed to…and I know you are saying it’s all doom and gloom and I honor your experience. My perception is that you have incredible HSP and insight and are doing deep and valuable pathcutting that is supporting the ascension mission and I am SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU! My heart is truly elated… you are so beautiful! I’m starting to cry now, beloved. You are so brave and have been though and continue to go through so much. I don’t know how anyone can go through what you are willingly working through in all your energy bodies. Gosh, the heavy lifting and slogging you are doing in so many multidimensional planes is incredible. No wonder you’re wiped out. But you are moving the needle … you are MORE than moving the needle… look at all that is happening on the earth… this is from the work that each and every one of us is doing when we surrender to our Source and commit to embodying the Light, Christ-Sophia. The smallest shift that we make, such as to surrender into neutrality and acceptance when we come across an emotional or mental or physical challenge… even for just a few seconds… that creates enough space for another drop of Light to shift into our vessel, thus, this plane. 

You are such an encouragement to me (and so many). Despite all the weaponry, cording, shrapnel, and wormholes, you are STILL the Living Light! Think how much life and power will be able to pour through you when you get those suckers sealed up. My old therapist used to quote some Chinese proverb that says “drop by drop the pot is filled”. Thank you for your work and example as you continue to chip away at the damage that has been done to your lightbody. You are the micro for the macro and this mirrors what is happening with the earth. It’s a gift to be able to see the architectural elements and the discipline that you have to hold steady… continuing to put one foot in front of the other (instead of crumbling)… THAT is faith! 

On my walk this morning as I was sharing a hug with one of my beloved tree friends, I looked over and saw this. It was so powerful to me because those holes in trees often remind me of the dark portals that have assaulted my lightbody and this morning I saw this organic LIFE growing out of it.

I love and appreciate you dear Katie. So very very much!
Love,
Carissa

 

Vermont?

I have gone back and forth on whether to ask about this in the forum and landed on just placing this in my journal and waiting for more information. I've been quite busy during sleepstate (if that's what we want to call it, ha!).... learning lots.

Last night I was working with the " Green Mountain State " it seems... actually, around the edge of it, specifically... on the New York side. Possibly in or near a town called Whitehall which is a city on the way to Rutland. I said...(in my sleepy scribble) "I think this is where I was exploring and mucking". <-- Ha, mucking!

Does anyone know about gridworking projects happening in or around Vermont? I wondered if it was related to a line coming down from Canada that swings through there and then maybe swoops over to Albany (which reminds me of Albion). Now my mind is involved which means my ego is involved so I need to just let it unfold. (But if anyone has any experience or thoughts to share, I welcome them as always!)

I used to live not too far from that area and went to college for a couple years not too far from there too so I may just be reclaiming pieces of myself and also apparently working with fragments of others I'm connected to (as I scribbled their names too). But as I'm slowly figuring out, it likely also has multidimensional application so I was curious if there are any Vermont-esque projects going on?

Note back to Emma

 Note back to Emma:

Thank you for your message, Emma! How crazy is that about your friend and the Damian thing?!! Wild!! And you with “David”… !! That guy is anchoring a ton of different energies and points within many dimensions. Lots to learn from observing him and his work. 

I know that it can also mess with our hearts too, to connect into that loving energy but not to be able to “keep it”. It feels almost like a betrayal in some layers of consciousness… for not being seen or honored as the sacred connection should be? I don’t know about you, but that vulnerability and surrender felt very intimate and created powerful alchemy that allowed me to process deeply. I think that’s what we’re meant to do in a sacred union… but it messed with my heart to have this touch of sacred union that wasn’t mine to have. 

But the process (including the challenging emotions and red cube distortions) ultimately led me to find my truth and walk in it, empowering me in the end. Just a hard lesson.

So I accept and appreciate that this is our work here… correcting reversals and identifying anti-HG technology so I can surrender to God. My job is to foster the divine union within and one day perhaps I will be united to work with a divine beloved on this plane as well. 

Gabe is just getting attuned to the HGS field… and I was glad to see in his response that he is now working with that. We are all learning how to operate within this consciousness arena and it seemed to me that he had some opportunity to learn how to open and close fields and especially as we are ES members, working within the HGS session field brings in Guardian oversight. 

If you are ever traveling in eastern North Carolina, I’d love to meet you as well!

I love and appreciate you, Emma!

Love,

Carissa

I love me artwork and Solar healing for 2D in the micro post

 I wanted to share something that has been very healing for me. This week I was led, twice so far, to lay out and allow the sun's light to shine on my undercarriage. (Laying with it all hanging out is tricky living in an apartment/community, but God made a way! Ha!) I don’t know that that part of my body has seen the LIGHT much, if ever, and it feels very healing. I feel that the solar rays are especially supportive to clearing distortions, trauma, and weaponry that was stored in my 2D sphere.

Also supportive today: 5D Higher Mind Integration Meditation  

Physically: Seems like my thyroid is being challenged. Anxiety and mineral imbalances often go along with this. Also some activations to throat, tongue and teeth. Must be some throat chakra and/or Tara restoration action going on? Oh, and pressure on right hemisphere of brain and right/Father side of my third eye area. 

In my "Examined Life" (life review) project, I'm currently facing some very heavy traumas and energies from 2006 and this time I need to feel it... to allow it... not resist or numb or retaliate. I just took an epsom salt bath and facilitated a conversation between my God-self and the personality (inner child fragment or alter?) that was present through that traumatic time. It was another "dark night" type time... a time when God was dismantling all the pieces of my reality in the hopes that my ego would wave the white flag. I'll tell you what, that ego of mine is a tough nut to crack, she's still going strong... but back then she broke enough to feel My Presence for a few moments and we have that to anchor into as we continue this embodiment.

It was April 2006 and it was the first time I felt an "activation" in my meridian system. Something along my left gallbladder meridian ... OR a crucifixion implant niggling in my left lung. Holy Mother beginning to wake me up. Either way, it scared the heck out of me and I launched into my first panic attack which took me further into the claws of Satan (i.e. more psych meds, etc.). This was my pattern... is my pattern... that which I'm breaking. I choose FEAR and then use my MIND to "figure out and fix it", strengthening my ego and making it even harder to surrender.

On a more pleasant note, I want to share a beautiful experience I was blessed with today. I was able to attend Diana's " Unified Diversity Art Class " and it was such a gift for my soul. We did some writing and some visual art (I tried my hand at watercolor pencils) and it was a truly beautiful opportunity to connect with God and members of our Christos-Sophia family!


ps. Staci, thank you so much for your kind note and encouragement! I'm looking forward to your Mother Arc meditation tomorrow (as long as I can get the chickens, horse, and doggers done in time). I look forward to hearing about your adventures. Much love to you sister! 

____

Adding artwork from Diana's class... and here's my post in her forum:

Whoo! I LOVED that class, Diana! Thank you so much for offering it. Such a blessed experience... pretty challenging at times, but that's what made it great... and we were wrapped in a bubble of God's love the whole time. You have such a beautiful, soothing, grounding, flowering energy... I feel really fortunate to have gotten to spend time in your loving field. So here's my picture...not sure what to call it, it's not really a drawing or a painting. I will have to practice with the watercolor pencils... there were benefits (more control over my lines) and also difficulties (the pencil didn't always melt as much as I would have liked it to)... but overall I think they are a fun medium! As I mentioned, I've been doing mirror work ("I accept myself in this moment just the way I am") and it's blossoming into genuine self-love so I thought I would try to capture that. (My favorite parts of myself right now are my armpit and leg hair which I've embraced this year and it makes me laugh.) The tree on the left is one of my best friends, she has been traumatized and is beat up in the physical, but an absolute beautiful soul and I'm fortunate to have her in my life. We share beautiful hugs daily. (Here's a secret - she's also a reflection of me - a twin soul in tree form! ;)) I really struggle with the color RED. Hearts and love is often represented with the color red and I wanted to use that color. The heart on the upper left was originally one of those hearts you make with your hands... I do that to myself in my mirror often but it ended up morphing into what you see there. (I was grateful for your direction at the beginning of the exercise to ask "what does this tree want to become?"... it helped me let go there a little.) Anyway... that red... and the heart above my head was originally red... I don't know. I guess I associate red with either the "Red Cube Matrix" or the "Root Chakra" now. This morning in meditation I was seeing lots of red and I feel myself resisting and judging it... wondering if I've got some toxic overlay enveloping my energy body. But maybe I've gone off my rocker as I like to do. I just wanted to bring that forward and am always interested in others' thoughts on that and any color or experience.... Anyway, thank you again! I love and appreciate you and all the beloveds who attended. Katie's energy was very supportive and encouraging as well. So glad everyone was there... each person brought such beauty to the container! ps. I loved my little spot on the couch in the container... that was fun to pick it out... I felt very at ease and comfortable and welcome.

pss. God bless you and all you endeavor to bring forth in Love!

Burning the Lust Out

I forgot to mention... 

The other night I had a dream where I was tempted by a woman... it made me consider sexual interaction with her and created lust in my body. I do not consent to that. I want to clear all distortions, gender reversals, anti-hierogamic union energy, and demonic possession or portals from my being. 

I had pulled this painting down from the loft the day or two before that dream and it was sitting in my room. At one point in the night I woke up and took it out of the bedroom... my guidance directed me to do that. (Just like I was told to take some sea salt in the middle of the night last night.). 

So the next day I decided it was time to burn the painting. I made this in college at Hollins and in a way it represents Sasha and I. I don't want anything that holds any resonances not aligned with the Law of One and the Krystic structure and spirit that it is my intention to embody. 

Michael helped me burn it... thanks be to God.

Whoa... I just realized that I may truly have actually "caught" demons and distortions by my unguarded indigo neurology and empath psychic sponge nature... I kept wondering why I seemed to "become like" those that I was in contact with... especially my "lovers"... I took on their distortions... even to the point of a head injury, confusion, psychosis, etc. from Tyrone. But the anxiety and panic of Joe and the debilitating alcoholism of Eddie ... I don't know... maybe I had those on my own waiting to be awakened... either way it is part of my path. 

Tyrone represents the Metatron Mission Failure in this Life

 Tyrone was how I embodied and lived out the Metatron Collective's mission failure. I'm listening to my April Charlotte session now and she's talking about a past life collective experience but she's describing my experience with Tyrone to a "T"...  and that it's here for completion... this is removing "crucifixion implants" ... it's removing it from my heart and lightbody... and this broken heart and shard that messed up the flow of my heart completely was from that damage that I sustained. Wow. This is how we heal it. 

And God gave me the opportunity to heal it since that session... I think I journaled about it how I just flowed in some "letting go" meditations and then flowed to the computer and somehow looked him up and saw his new profile and his life and delusions and most importantly, that he got the jab (which is a neon sign for "descending timeline" to me... and a non-negotiable ... so reconciliation and a "re-do" isn't possible). Anyway... I wrote him a great "goodbye" but then FB started sending me photos of him... so I wrote to him again. And just now after listening to this part of the Charlotte session I went to find him again for another eye/heartful and he has blocked me. Which is a blessing. I know it's time to let this go. I am healing all my relationships... and reclaiming my KRYSTIC heart aligned to God. 

I need to forgive myself and him once and for all and move on. 

This is so wild:

Okay, so they're bringing me into your blueprint template. Bringing me into the right side of the body and looking at, you know, where you're at within this process of rebuilding the diamond sun Krystallah Eternal Lightbody blueprint. So we're looking at the spheres - the 2, the 5, the 8, and the 11 down that right hand side to bring in the Holy Father frequencies. And we're looking at a reversal timeline, a  metatronic timeline. Oh, okay, thank you. So this is bringing us into that 11th sphere. So above the top of the right side of the head in the 11th sphere. This is where within our diamond sun blueprint that comes the Emerald Ray of the Holy Father comes in through his cosmic monad and in understanding the histories, at that 11th dimensional level within the Lyran timelines as they relate to the families of Metatron or the Metatron Collective. So the Metatron Collective came in to support the healing of the Lyran Matrix and the loss of that 12th Stargate within our universal system. But within that recognizing that they failed and were absorbed into the same artificial system that they had come here to attempt to correct. So into this black hole system and through that sort of became trapped within the digression of the of the Yahweh system within the galactic plane. So, this is sort of these Black Cube matrices, these metatronic reversal structures and their architecture which is connected into the reversals of the Violet Ray within this. So, you know, I think for me and again, you know, please only take what resonates but in understanding when we are working with in our lightbody template to rebuild the Diamond Sun Blueprint we'll often have to address parts of these timelines of the Metatron Collective as they relate to our Collective Christ experience in this Universal Time Matrix. And so I'm aware that part of your polarity integration and healing is in relationship to the reclaiming of this Metatron Collective, or this family of Metatron and so wanting to, you know, support you within this in allowing you to perhaps take a step back to disidentify from the parts of the consciousness that are attempting to understand what happened within that timeline and bring healing to that. And that have perhaps been judgmental or critical to themselves within that within this level of mission failure. So it's like here we have Carissa who is in the ascending vehicle in this timeline, you know, to support all of her Collective Christ family members of which there are the Metatron - family of Metatron a part of that. And then there are aspects of yourself and so what I can see is that as you're coming into, you know, merging with these higher dimensional timelines, that these are surfacing for witnessing and healing, which is part of the Ascension process. You know, we are constantly coming to deeper understandings within each of the harmonic layers. Reclaiming all of our parts that we can collapse these timelines within our lightbodies and within the collective blueprint templates within this universe. And so what I can see is a level of identification that you're making at this time with this aspect. This Metatron aspect. And then again, this is part of the polarity integration. This is part of the Reclamation within that, but we do have to be, I think aware and kind of open to understanding that we can become identified with these parts. Particularly when they've been quite an important part of our consciousness history with that. And so whenever we kind of catch ourselves, perhaps blaming ourselves, being judgmental or critical feeling those piece of mission failure, you know, coming into that place of saying, "okay, so which part of me is this then?" You know, "which part am I identifying with?" and this will often help us just step back from that. So that we can see that part as separate from ourselves within the whole. And it allows us to support that part more easily. 

So just within this, this is what's happening at this moment is a separation of your Krystic Avatar identity from this 11th dimensional Metatron identity. So that this can be held and seen and witnessed. And supported for rehabilitation at this time. Thank you. This is sort of being teased out, I guess, of the Avatar Krystos identity. That Solar Christ identity. So in this moment then just requesting through the blueprint, through this 11th sphere, requesting it to identify, locate, to remove, and repair all memories and influences from this family of Metatron of timeline. As this is collapsed now through the blueprint, through that right-hand side of the body, through the grail points. 

Yeah, they're bringing me into the heart space recognizing and understanding the level of emotional mental miasma from this trauma that is being addressed now through the collapsing of this timeline. Healing of these memories. Again, I'm just kind of noting this shard within the right hand side of the chest, the heart chakra there, as it feels related to this.

Aries to Taurus

Well SNAP!! Do we see now how what went on last month was almost perfectly aligned with Aries?? 

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Aries

Clearing Blood Sacrifice, blood ritual, Egyptian timelines, distortion of the sun and planetary grid systems, clearing the Egyptian death cloud reincarnation Consciousness Traps, clearing survival fears, clearing Mars hybridization, Mars Timelines and war Trauma, clearing the instinctual mind, clearing the 666 code, the Reptilian Tail genetic distortion, the Thothian Shield, the elemental harness, clearing the caduceus veil & fourth ray memories and distorted instruction sets of ArchAngel Gabriel and ArchAngel Hope, Clearing all karmic attachment to the false 4th ray and to false ascended master Serapis Bey.

Wild! and YES, it was like FIRE burning it away. 

Need to find out what we're working on now. Ah. Taurus. (https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Taurus)

Anyway that Aries season ended (and it really DID) right before I wrote my post about the Aldebaran and Fomalhaut. I am working so much with clearing the anti-christ (including anti-Michael and in the last year to an extent, the anti-Gabriel) distortions. I do this by clearing them out of my own body through compassionate witnessing. (Though I'm still bringing the "compassion" part online as I surrender through the Luciferian abyss.) Funny how the torture associated with it... the heat (such as red cube psychic arrows)...all "turned off" as we came into Taurus. Either that or God finally took pity on me. Ha!

So Taurus is so much about Family of Michael and also congelation which seems appropriate after the pot was stirred so much in Aries.

Congelation is the process by which something congeals, or thickens into a new pattern or blueprint. This increase in viscosity is to reassemble parts into a different energetic pattern, thus transforming it.

Just had another great conversation with Michael too. We are elevating consciousness in unity and helping us both to gain deeper understanding about the energetic architecture and patterning that we've been living out. Thank you God. 

He brought Light into my life at a time where I was sunk in reversals, Dark Mother, False King of Tyranny and just a wreck stuck in a Metatronic pit of doom... whether I put myself there as part of my contract or if I got there through mission failure and/or following ego, spiritual pride, and fear (which I had a couple years to overcome between waking and go-time)... I was there. Michael's Light helped bring the dross to the surface and it has been a very challenging process of rebirthing to the Light... repairing the Fallen Tree and reversing or repenting out of the descending path on the bifurcation.... but beloved Michael held strong and supported me in it.

Now as I gain consciousness and step into my role to support the ascension, I am learning to be able to see how everything fits together and support Michael in understanding what he's done. Now, in a way, I hold a Light to help him make sense of the disclosure which he is a witness to. (As well as his ancestral or miasmatic connection to the Family of Michael consciousness which he is a part of rehabilitating.) It's really amazing!!

So even though our "marriage" is "complete"... our relationship is not. We continue to serve one another in love and help one another on this path. It's really quite beautiful! Our "marriage" was never really that anyway... it never felt right in that way... not like my previous two marriages. (I know... sounds like I'm a man-eater, but everything that I've been involved in...all my relationships...they are divinely inspired and part of the polarity integration work I came here for. I know I don't have to justify myself but felt inspired to share that.) Anyway... those other two marriages were true marriages... this one was something else. It was like a father-husband hybrid...masculine reversal healing thing. Lots of balls in play and one of them was that I wanted to "save" him from his existence which looked so lonely and bitter to me. He lived in a room that only fit a twin bed and desk for 8 or so years... he just studied the bible and taught his Torah class and blogged... he was lonely and bitter from the suffering he sustained when his wife of 24 years left him and took their kids (in a blockbuster Hollywood style action-drama way!)! 

Funny that I wanted to be the "hero" and he ended up being mine. I think in all my relationships I have played out the hero/savior (broken bird) archetype. My ego loved that stuff! 

I'm learning so much and SO GRATEFUL to God for granting me the opportunity to serve and be a part of something as special as this re-awakening and alignment into Christ-Sophia!! ...And to Lisa and Tomás for their love, faith, example, and for providing the consciousness food and life-giving resources which help us strengthen all levels of architecture! ...And to the community for the safe space for exploration and healing into the Law of One.