Harmlessness: Just Listen

Twice this week I've dropped the ball on just LISTENING to dear sisters. (Staci and Rosemary). 

Here's my processing when I was asking Rosemary about it via email:

Beloved Rosemary, 

I have been setting my intention to be a safe person and a harmless person. I am not sure if I was that for you today so I’d like your (super-honest) input. 

Remember the “permission to speak freely” part? Was what came after that beneficial or maybe unnecessary? In a big way I think I really need to learn to listen and not offer feedback in any way… and just know (because I do know) that you (or whoever I’m talking to) will figure it out by themselves. Me overlaying my lens, thoughts, experience on the matter really only muddles it. So what do I do? Just hold space. Just listen. Just love. That’s it. UGH. So hard. I want to HELP. But “help is the sunny side of control” says one of my friends and I guess that’s what I’m doing in a way… trying to push/pull the outcome (even with perceived justice in my heart)… it’s not okay.

I’m sorry. 

I love you. You are so freaking strong and beautiful and I am honored for the opportunity to be a compassionate witness (and to practice being a Krystic Being). Practice makes perfect and I’ve got lots of practice to go, so thank you for your grace and forgiveness in my stumbles.

I appreciate you.

Love, 

Carissa

ps. Rosemary's response was INCREDIBLE... so edifying and beautiful. She said:"I loved your perspective and yes, in my opinion, you fulfilled your intention completely to be a safe and harmless person." And a lot of other things...  one idea was "So, you could actually go either way with people - ask them if what they want to receive is holding space, listening with love only, or holding space, listening and loving and offering insights (with permission) from your perspective or a combination of the two, understanding that it is not "counseling" nor is there any conscious attempt to push or pull on the outcome."  Which is a really good idea! But she said my help: "was extremely beneficial to me as it came from a different lens that I had not considered esp. as the VV programming works - it is so insidious. I don't think you muddled things for me as it actually opened up a different viewpoint to look at the situation".