This is super long.
Wow. Okay. So I hope I'm not following in the footsteps of our brother Kirk who appeared to jump off a cliff, but I will say that I almost always resonated with him and although I couldn't always deduce what he saw, there were edges of it that were clear for me... pieces that coincided with my being and experience.
I am very empathic... I need to work on being empathetic...but empathic I AM. I wish I could be more loving and soft and it's happening as we clear out the reversals and dark mother and false king distortions...but I know I have a long way to go. That said... I'm just me and I'm going to try to communicate this as clearly as possible... I wish I could have the loving tone that so many of you have, but that is a challenge for me. Also I can be quite verbose.
First of all I want to apologize to our ES brother Gabe because this has so much to do with him so it feels like I am talking about him but he is a placeholder for Gabriel consciousness. I LIVE gridwork in a way and so I've had to live this out to understand and work with it and sweet Gabe did not sign up for this. He has been doing so much amazing work serving and rescuing the beloved SRA'd inner children trapped in our own depths of pain, trauma, and unconscious... the work he's doing is bringing love and light to the world in HUGE ways and rippling out beyond comprehension. Thank you beloved brother - I honor and respect you and your work and pray God's power even deeper into your being to be the Lighthouse you are.
Yesterday I read this post that Kirk made and not only did it knock my socks off proverbially, but I got a massive ZWANGNGNGNGNG all the way through the skull right after. (Important information! Pay attention!)
I've been working with very intense energy since early April surrounding "Gabriel" (maybe Fomahaut)... I have had to watch it and learn from it and it's been a big job. Poor Gabe (our friend here in ES) has been a forgiving and kind soul but I am sure it has challenged him too in the ethers.
I was told in early April that Gabe was "In The Eye of the Storm" and thought it was related to his going into Louisiana and all the reclamation work being done there. (I sent him this song that came up related to it... you'll see that there were a few key songs that came up... I realized that I looked like a psychopath so I was trying not to send information to him too much... but part of me also felt like part of him needed that information... but that's my push/pull tendencies and I am learning to discern when to speak and when not to. I did OKAY in this case, but not as well as I'd like to.) I digress...
So later that week ... or maybe it was the week after ... I felt moved to have a session with him before my trip to the Emerald Coast in Florida. That session was one of the most powerful experiences I've had in my entire life. The alchemy we shared and the movement that was made was ... indescribable. He held the masculine...albion... structure... as a safe space which allowed me to allow the stored light and sound fields (along with organic pieces of me and shards of artificial technology) to flow out of my 2D stargate.
This is what being the "Banks to my River" was. I wanted to send him that song but didn't. It is about the Albion and Cathar and I took it to my heart as I work on my inner HG union as I am my own banks to my own river.
Anyway, as all this was unfolding there was huge movement in the realm of Michael in my world. Michael is my previous husband. I came into union with him as a "covering" because I had fallen to such pieces and didn't trust myself anymore... he was going to save me. He is 23 years older than me and it has always felt a little disturbing but Michael holds an organic love vibration which HAS given me a safe space for the metamorphosis my being is working through in alignment with the planetary reclamation of Christ-Sophia.
That said, he is very rooted in Saturn Blood Worship - he teaches Torah, keeps a "real" Passover where he “slaughters" an innocent goat "unto Yehovah" and puts blood on our doorways and believes that only men can have a relationship with God (YHVH). He believes women were created secondarily to serve man and that their man (whoever their covering is) is to be their "god". Men serve Yehovah, women serve their man.
Sounded pretty clear cut and attainable to me at the time… if I could find happiness that way, then I was willing to try it. At the time I was all upside down and inside out from my soul-level spiritual marriage partner's betrayal and abandonment. One of Michael's other phrases which actually still resonates is that he believes in "living according to our created purpose" which I still agree with... I just see how we are meant to do that in UNITY (after all the reversals and distortions have been cleared).
There's a lot to this, but the main pain spots with the Michael union was the Saturn Blood Worship and Misogyny. On a physical level there were sexual misery distortions and ultimately I could not have a physical relationship with him because it didn't feel right... it shut my sexual centers down instead of opening them up.
HOWEVER, we love eachother SUPER DUPER MUCH and we live together and love one another. And we gel in a lot of areas (like watching the madness unfold around the plandemic and our commitment to do our best not to play along. I don't wear a mask but without his strength, I might have since my empathic self could so feel the disdain of the people around me and my people-pleasing could have taken me out of my sovereignty and freedom. So we encourage one another there.) But our beliefs are so different and as I've come to ES and learned about the Saturn Blood Worship and been cutting off the false umbilicus, it has taken me further and further away from feeling like we had a chance to make a relationship work (which was on hold until I healed my heart).
When I married Michael we had an understanding that he believed in multiple wives and I thought that might be good. I'm all about burning "sin" out of me and looked up to the ladies in that TV show "Sister Wives" who were willing to put themselves in the fire to burn out the jealousy (etc.) and thought that might be fun. So it's been on the table for Michael to have another wife and I started actually hoping for that for him because I knew that I wasn't a good partner to him and I really want him to experience true deep divine love. We've done a lot of work together to heal the pain of betrayal he experienced from his first marriage of 24 years. She blew up his whole life into a billion pieces and I understand why he had so much pain and bitterness around women. So we've been working on Michael-Mary reversals in our marriage... we continue to.
However a couple months ago he and my friend starting courting. I am ashamed to say that I was the one who gave the "go ahead". It has taken me on a roller coaster ride and helped me to see that, number one, multiple wives is not our "created purpose"... we were designed to have/build a hieros gamos divine structure that the spirit of God can work through in our lives and radiate to anchor deeper love and consciousness into the earth. If we are nerve cells or acupuncture points, we are bigger and stronger ones together. (I think this might be how ES works as well.) Anyway... so Michael and I have agreed to the completion of our marriage, although we still share a life together as friends and roommates until God shows us what's next.
So the Gabe stuff was happening at the same time that the Michael stuff was happening and I was watching it all unfold (and feeling and releasing and learning and crying and rejoicing and journaling and ... what a wild ride!)
This brings me to Kirk's comment:
"...to understand how the metatronic gender reversals have affected us in vivid literal terms. Gabriel breaks Michael's slavery. Michael is enslaved by the Eye. The Eye is the masculinized feminine, the fiery vagina. Enslaved Michael is the feminized masculine that has no choice but to serve the great Eye. The eye is the black cube of Mecca." "Gabriel is the linchpin. Gabriel is the one who undoes the reversals and sets everything right." - Kirk
This morning I realized that I am holding space for the healing of the Solar Michael. (Oh gosh, I'm NOT calling myself Akhenaton or anyone... but I am a representative through the shared work we are doing with many many others to reclaim and restore the Fallen to the organic Living Light.) But in this parable (that is my life) I was the enslaved Michael that had no choice (I thought) but to serve the black cube (Saturn Blood Worship).
So the way this played out is that Gabe has helped free deep layers of my consciousness (including the masculinized feminine that I embodied through metatronic reversals). It wasn't just from that one session... from the first interaction I had with Gabe... actually the first time I read one of his posts I broke into tears. My mental body thought he was an unhinged old man, ha (sorry Gabe), but my being responded by opening. I was encouraged by a friend to have a session with him and then he reached out saying he thought he could help me. I made an appointment with him and then cancelled it. I don't know how much after that... a day? a week? a month? He called me to talk and we had an impromptu session that left me kind of shaken but deeper in love with God. For a while I unintentionally started referring to him has Damian...that's just the name my being assigned to him and I didn't know what it meant, but google says it means "to subdue”.
Please note, Gabe is completely professional... I hesitated to write that about him calling me because it sounds like a practitioner acting in his own will...but number one, he wasn't an official practitioner with ES and was still doing a lot of his own work at the time (we always are)... and God sent him and it was his obedience to the spirit that led him to call me. I needed it. I had, through the ethers, been connected to him... he used to have a YouTube channel which I appreciated his words, and listened to a podcast he was on. His vibration was living water to me. (Though parts of me tried to reject it as much as I could.)
Every time I talked to him, more changes would take place.... even if I didn't talk to him... I can't talk about this here... there's so much to it.... I'll leave this part in my personal journal. No fear, Carissa! But the way I could feel him with me often... and visions I'd get of him... and the time I felt him in my core.... it all felt like energetic boundaries had been breeched and prompted me to close up... but it was all part of this work. "Gabriel is the linchpin. Gabriel is the one who undoes the reversals and sets everything right."
Well this whole thing is crazy. There's something to do with getting to the center point between the Silver and Golden gate and of course Michael/Aldebran is the "north star"... or the star facing the north, and Gabriel/Fomalhaut is the star facing the south.... so we are on the verge of something big. The song "Wash It Away" says it all.
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