8:18/8 8:28/8 8:48 13 54(9) 8 43(7) 8:44
Did I tell you that I had THE MOST incredible experience and meditation of my life last night. I asked to meditate with Paul's Higher Self and we pulled "OL Unioning" together and it was ... DAAANG.... better than the best sex ever! Every cell of my body was ACTIVATED and filled with light and power. I had goosebumps the whole time! The crystals and colors and connection was out of this world! Thank you God!!!
WHAT IS THIS?? It's a MIRACLE!!!!!
9:00 10:00 10:44 8/11:00
I would really like it if Paul said my name more often. I like to hear my name on his lips. Just now I said "I LOVE YOU DEREK PAUL NEWMAN!!" and he said "I love you too" (at 10:54 no less ...beautiful!) in response but it just doesn't feel as good as hearing my name. Should I tell him that or could YOU tell him for me? DP, my beloved's HS, could you please tell him for me?
27 37.37
12/8 11:08 11:09 11:11 11:44 11:48 111 3:43
6:51, well I cooked myself again in the bath. Made the water waaaay too hot and maybe put waaaaay too much epsom salt in (probably close to 4 POUNDS).... I drank a ton of water and then out of self-preservation psychosis I walked outside in the cold naked and stood there and felt in to the fire in my body. I believe this was to access a timeline which felt a lot like that Denzel Washington movie where the world was burned and sparse. I need to look up the title again. Reminds me of a prophet - Isaiah or Ezekiel... but anyway... it feels like that was a timeline that needed to collapse where the earth, Mother, was destroyed...burned... parched and dry and through this attention and collapse we restored water, nourishment, refreshment to the earth and it began to grow lush and green and life returned. I had to see something with binoculars and a vehicle that had like one of those chain wheels... what are they called...like a tank has? May all be restored to LIFE and LOVE.
Then I went back and laid at the foot of my bed and rested and breathed and went into a form of trance or rest and feel our teams were helping heal my body. There is a numbness in my left upper arm now, a bit. A shadow. Wants to be addressed. And fear. And spleen. And blood. And death. They want to be known and seen.
I SEE YOU. Paul said it to me. Candice said it to me. I FEEL it. DO I SEE ME? Look in the mirror. I AM LIGHT. I AM DARK. I AM.
2:54am...2:55am
I just spent almost 7 hours on zoom with Paul working on his calendar which he is passionate about. Whoa. It was good to hang out with him but he wasn't very efficient... he smoked pot and helped me when I asked ... I'm glad I helped as it helped him have a better calendar than before BUT it was pretty disturbing for me. Lots of his bondage and satanism stuff... by the end, we were more aligned, so it was a good exercise. And there was a part in the middle where he started talking about having ascension symptoms his whole life and tapped into some childhood memories which is really good.
Lower self Paul is in need of LOTS OF LOVING and NOT the way he thinks. I need to HONOR him and RESPECT him and not judge and criticize him. I am not the best at that. Thank you God for the time tonight laying down... I didn't have any GREAT meditations today. 10 minutes with the Romeros and then whatever that was after the bath, but hopefully it prepared me to be present for Paul.
I want to tell him my need for him to say my name but I really need to wait for the right time or for God to move.
His kidneys are hurting. I shared the article. He "read" it but said because of the language he doesn't understand lots of it. But he did see the relationship with the heart which is the part I felt for him too but then decided he couldn't be embodied enough (who am I to think that?)! Anyway, he saw it and read it out loud and I pray that this is HEALING REACTIONS for him.
I had this same thing in June, I believe.
When our heart is healed, there is a fire that is ignited inside the heart that is accessed and the fire in the heart is also in the Kidneys. There is a triangle that connects the heart into the kidneys, in our Lightbody. The kidneys are in the base of the triangle from left to right and the point of the triangle is in the heart. When the heart is healed, there is a twin flame ignition in our heart and kidneys, which shifts the heart configuration. Twin flames = structure of light within the heart. So two flames ignite in the heart. The Monad is the greater flame and the physical body is the lesser flame. When this flame is ignited, there is an ignition in the heart and a fire or vital essence that comes in to the kidneys.[2]
So. I don't know.
I was pretty freaked out and he went away to walk Manson or something and I put on my music and asked God to tell me what was going on and I got THIS SONG!
Okay, it's 3:06. Gotta go to sleep.
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