A new day

After yesterday's "depression" and "void", I woke today to so much support... so many friends were around shining light and joy. So interesting!!!!

Jayshree who I wished in my heart to connect with yesterday reached out out of the blue with some beautiful encouragement and we've messaged back and forth a bit. Her journal today was super duper in line with what I'm going through too with Ai, anger, 9D, anti-love, etc... it's uncanny. After I read it, I went to my email and found this email... I never read strange emails from strange people but this one spoke to my heart and was about so much of what it seemed Jayshree and I are working through. I tried to email it to her.

So far today I've connected with: Jayshree, Misha, Eddie, Rosemary, Candice, and messages sent to Melanie and Laura. And it's only 12:42.

Thank you God. 

I also did the energy signature tester on Tyrone and before my cord even got to him I saw it was burning up... it was a big black black black hole/orb... my heart is closing just thinking about it now. Yeah, I need to leave that alone. God will send help. God, please send help. Carissa can't do this... this isn't for her at this time. 

Rosemary wrote with some confirmation on how mirror exercise gestalt is related to transfiguration and collapse of multiple stations of identity... part of monadic integration. I was writing about that yesterday and today, this confirmation. Thank you God! 

In all things, just BE. I SURRENDER ALL! (May it be so. Once and for all. Don't take it back. Especially surrender EGO.) 

Is it okay to write here? Yes. 

Why do you want to write in the forum? For people to appreciate me. No bueno.

___

Long and great convo with Rosemary and then interactions back and forth with Melanie and Laura too.

Meditate. 

Get in your CORE. Sun salutation? Yes. Okay. Go!!

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I went, and recognized that the yellow and red that I saw in Michael's orb/energy signature is his Gold Ray Seraphim and Ruby Sun DNA architecture. 

This makes me really sad like I am missing out on a beautiful connection with a beautiful being. I came in and danced in the mirror for a second and then went to dance to/with Michael as he was making cauliflower and he was listening to his stock market guy (says he wasn't paying attention) but he wasn't paying attention to me either. 

I talked to him and told him that I wished we could work together to create the God-architecture... that this was living our created purpose... this is what we could do together to hold/anchor this architecture in love and be a Light to the world. 

He said "you're not going where I'm going" again and I said something about how we need to be and he said something about Yehovah and I said something about that being a false alien God (first time I've been brave enough to use those words with him) and I said he was connected to the REAL TRUE God ... he IS... but that overlay has tricked him! He said that until God shows him that, he doesn't believe it. (And I know he thinks I'm deceived ... his ego will push that button more too. But maybe a seed was dropped.) 

I just want so much to be in alignment with a God-being doing God-work together and I live with and love this amazing being who is so capable of it and I think WILL come to the truth at some point... hopefully in this life... it feels like he is on this Ascension timeline too. Is this his "heroic probability" life? I don't know. 

But I know there are things that don't resonate and that I want to be a with a strong and faithful God-being. I am meant for that. And I need to wait on God and let it unfold in due time. I wondered if it would match the Tyrone timeline and show up in August and culminate in December? It seems like I hopped on the second wave in the same order.... dark night of the soul/first death in December 2009 to awake to Oraphim walk-in in January 2010.... practice practice practice and then HG partner brought in late 2011. And another "dark night of the soul" experience was in December 2019 (longer in both cases...months...but culminated in major experiences in December... massive heart opening/heart attack type thing in 2019 and then brought into Energetic Synthesis (aka, so much Guardian support and guidance) in January 2020. And now it feels like we are getting new heart upgrades... higher heart... moving into the particle/antiparticle merge and like we might be on the verge of another merge with a partner (as I solidify and work with my own HG partnership within). So... I surrender to God's plan. I don't need to work it out or understand it in my mental body. 

I need to surrender my mental body and surrender trying to "figure it out". I need to feel... and if I feel like I see Michael's beauty and want to express it, then follow that. It is all part of both of our evolution. Even if he doesn't "catch on" with ME, at some point he will. 

I do worry about Ammi... I really feel like she's got some pretty strong reptilian and maybe Zeta influence ... but maybe Michael is helping to rehabilitate that. I wanted to... I did to an extent, but she is much stronger than me and sucks my life force and I see the sponging... I think she's been working on this, but notice when I revoked consent for her to access my lightbody, she never calls anymore. I tried to show her love and attention but it just went in a black hole. Michael is much stronger than me and maybe God is sending in the troops for her.

Maybe she's not on her "heroic probability" lifetime yet. Her mental body is VERY connected, but this is maybe tied to Ai and what makes me think she's more hybridized by NAA than connected to Source and she doesn't know how to source organic energy... she's never been taught... and stuck in the reversals. (I'm realizing I'm speaking about myself too... this is how I was and THANKS BE TO GOD for rescuing me!!!!!) God, please rescue Ammi too. God's will be done. ALL WILL BE RETURNED TO THE LIGHT. 

Anyway... I just need to keep feeling.... and observing, discerning, allowing, and coming to neutral. 

Thank you God and guidance teams for your support!

_______

I alllllmost wrote about this the other day but shame got me and I didn’t finish/share. I’ve told the story to a few friends now and have come more to terms with it. I journaled in my personal journal but I also think it’s important to share here as it does seem to go along with what many of us are working through. Jayshree’s journal today comforted me.

In the conversations that I’ve had today (a LOT… seems like corrected communication floodgates opened this morning and it’s been beautiful)… seems like many of us went through a season of heavy density in the last few day especially. 

Pause. Question for Carissa. WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS???

To share that it’s happening to others too… and I do think it has to do with the “stages of healing” and that we maybe touched on some ANGER. I understand that my stations of identity in 7D Gaia experienced some trauma. My 7D feminine was traumatized through rape (which resulted in hybridized offspring). My 7D masculine froze with helplessness. I can see how an emotional schism was set in motion here… the feminine was traumatized and felt betrayed and abandoned which grew into bitterness. The masculine felt emasculated and helpless and in order to maintain the perception of strength (is ego a thing on Gaia?) he became aloof and disconnected and put up a false mask of self-sufficiency that he began to believe in as real strength, but it was a reversal too. Real strength comes from from feeling into pain and crying and admitting weakness … as backwards as that sounds. Then God can be strong through our surrendered being… organic strength sourced from our God-selves who are connected to ALL THAT IS (the source of all strength). 

Okay, so back to my story…

The other day I did the “clearing pain traps” meditation and the “electric wars” came up and afterwards I was doing some reading in the AG about it. I guess it was right after I finished reading but I didn’t connect the two until later… anyway, Michael was sitting on the couch too doing his own thing and before I knew what I was doing, I just punched him in the arm!! It happened FASTER than an “impulse” and was, quite frankly, shocking to both of us! We both just looked at each other after and I know I had such confusion on my face and he was like “What was that for?”? I had to admit that I didn’t know and that I was so so so so so sorry! I just kept apologizing over and over but I was also in such shock! 

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to understand it. Asking myself why and where it came from, fluctuating between confusion, shame, and analysis.

I felt like it was related to feminine aggression and feeling betrayed and unseen and that it sourced from the electric wars timeline. More will unfold, but I’ve gotten lots of support since then to teach me about Gaian Matrix, Metagalactic Core, Gaian Shadow Body, Wall in Time, and lots of spin-off lessons too. 

Yesterday’s meditation, “Law of Structure: Michael-Mary Wings” was really supportive in putting me back together again. I feel very much that I am working with masculine rod healing especially…. maybe just at this point. Maybe I need to heal the rod before I can even get to the staff. One of my main pain points is my mental body which is so strong due to hybridization (especially, but lots of ego distortions strengthened that sucker).  

Side note since I’m here: I had this thought the other day that maybe from ages 22 - 44 I was working with the 2D/4D split. I believe I’m in the middle of getting a new heart (upgrades, removing the shard, correcting the flow and damage, etc.) Hopefully we’ll be in proper order with an operational 4D heart center soon! 

Let me ask again… why are you sharing this?

To share with others? To be seen by others? To be “on the cutting edge” of what’s coming down the pike… “I SEE IT TOO!! See me! I’m here too!!” Right? That’s gross. To be seen… by human eyes. To be known. It’s not necessary beloved. Sigh. Okay. So I won’t share. It’s not that…though I really think you keep stopping and getting this overlay coming through to take note… 

Also, you loved that cauliflower, but it’s time … we have GOT to eat fully correctly. No. That’s a pressure. Follow your HIGHER HEART.

YOU ARE LOVED. FULLY COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY!! Accepted just as you are in this moment. Peace be with you dear one. Go meditate. Yes. The City 4 Square is perfect.