"Walk quietly" (song/message)
I am absolutely in a pool of love (and possibly dopamine)... floored by the goodness of God! What a gift I've been given ...WE'VE been given. But I have been in a whirlwind of Paul's love! Feeling really supported by Source.
I just got confirmation through an OL post that I think we will need to work with the narcissism thing. I sensed that he has a similar Indigo3 contract to me.... feels like we have very similar architecture... and God is here to support our healing and we've both done good work toward it so that we can continue together. Truly, it's time to HEAL EACH OTHER IN LOVE.
The good news is that if I can remain rooted in Source, I can hold compassionate witness and neutrality to help him birth through those layers that I have had to go through (like rehabilitating the nephilim contract).
I don't have time to write now but I wish I could. I can't believe it's only been 2 weeks since we started talking, 1 week since he broke through to this timeline (through his spiritual overcoming), and it will be 2 weeks until I go see him in Alaska.
The surreal feeling of our architecture being knit together - like constant etheric surgery, even when I'm walking along... I can especially feel it when I'm walking on duck road - the water and trees amplify it.
My body responds to him when he calls or if I read his messages ... it's really powerful. This is not related to the golum...that is gone. This is our organic connection - we are being made one and will be one on all levels. He is my soul-monad mate and we are going to finish anchoring this and ascend our Avatars in Unity. (That's what I feel.)
It could all pop at any point so I need to remain non-attached to outcome but it's so hard to do that and remain neutral. But I'm trying and grateful for the "exercise". I felt off center yesterday - sad... low... black subtle forces... but it was needed to integration that part. I'm much less on the biwave rollercoaster in my being. Really amazing, thank you God!
I'm eating well. Motivated. Only FIP, veggies, my toast an almond butter, blue chips and sardines. I need to eat more meat. Heard. Okay.
I need to work - I can't focus - but I need to - I am just so in love!!! It's crazy!! Thank you God!
I DID review my FB page/life last night and know I've had such a magical life with Michael. He has been a gift from God to me too! I just think it was so much about healing me so that I could be re-set for another go with a genetic equal/HGU/Aeonic Pairing (what we were made for). The one with Tyrone resulted in a mission failure, metatronic spiral, black heart.
We've been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. Not interested in that again. I feel this is going to be exactly what I need. God, help me to be humble. It's not about me. It IS about US... all of us in UNITY. But Paul and I. AAAHHH! What a gift!
"I give up control...body, mind, and soul..." (song)
Okay, I need to work. But whoooo. I'm in awe. And so happy!
____
9:34pm I don't know... now I'm feeling a little... ugh. I think I've been slimed by black magic or something. I joined the humbled females site and poked around some. This is what I have to feel into and transmute!? How can I do that?! How can I feel into this? I am thrown off center- both feeling like I need to try to "live up to that" to please Paul and horrified that this is what he believes is the way to love... he seems like he's into UNITY, but then THAT? It's really hard to hold in my being. I don't like it. I need to get clean before I talk to him.
I sent him 2 mostly naked and 1 naked picture of me today. What is happening? This is NOT the person I AM. It's demonic. He likes darkness, satan, horror movies, dominance/submission... WHAT AM I DOING??? I AM A CHILD OF THE LIGHT!!!
Is it a trick? I usually feel my divine counterpart in him. My soul mate. My twin flame. My beloved. But when I identify with the overlays it causes me to schism.
And I become/act out my own overlays instead of staying rooted in Source. This is no good. It's too hard. F. It's like Tyrone again isn't it? Where I am shown how hard it will be and then I have to decide if I'm willing or not. I've had the chance to look into Paul's eyes and fall in love with him. I am attracted to him and appreciate his mind and want to see him flourish! I have the strength and ability that I didn't have with Tyrone but I realllllllllly can't allow another mission failure.
We're both advanced in different areas and will help one another. I need to just unhook from earth-Paul and connect to monad-Paul ...as monad-Carissa, not this mess that I am right now. Why am I mess? Because I haven't done my routines... my meditation and forgot to do my glossary pick even! Ah!!
I AM GRATEFUL FOR:
The learning experience
Paul's face
Discomfort
Nov 7 9:44 AG Pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Platonic_Solids
Shared that article with Kirk at 11:11.
I saw 11:11 this morning too when Cricket was being so kind and digging out clothes for me to wear in Alaska.
I don't remember if it was 9:22 or 10:22 I saw. Maybe neither. But I do see 22 a lot and that is related to the Master builder number. There is important information for me in this Ascension glossary. I need to read them and understand. This is my job.
And have faith. And walk quietly.
11:39 Danny Gokey's "Haven't seen it yet" song is speaking to me... to trust... the brightness is on the other side. AGAIN this whole thing is between ME and me. God and I. I need to stay aligned with MY HIGHER POWER ... not look to cling to Paul like I said. I DO need to cling to him but in the flow with Source energy. Stop looking through my physical eyes. It's messing me up.
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