Processing (and synchronicity list for now)

Another synchronicity... or message from Source (I hope)... 

Paul sent me "You are my sunshine" via text. I felt strongly to put a sunshine as my profile photo on that humbled females website yesterday. I am HIS sunshine. It just felt like a message from God. He didn't see that. I thought he saw it and that's why he sent me the song but he was just following prompts from God. 

I wish there were a way to share my voice memos here. I had a really good session with myself...talking it out. Helping me to gain clarity and heed the call to return to balance. 

I need to go through and re-read/re-live our last couple weeks but here are some of the synchronicities I've tracked:

Synchronicities:

-BIGGEST AND MOST IMPORTANT: -Tikkun Olam

 (simultaneously took that phrase and our representation of it which is slightly different than the Jewish version – we saw it as “healer of the earth” repairer restorer of the earth. But we both kind of summarized our life purpose as “tikkun olam”. Wild. 

-We were both stepping up in caring for our bodies – vitamins, minerals, nutritional balancing practitioner program.  Common ground. 

-Also, of course, passionate about the EVIL we are seeing in the system

-Also, how we both saw beyond the religious programming and were freeing ourselves simultaneously.

-Bobbi Jensen as a spiritual guide/messenger

-Enigma 

-Shrek/Princess Fiona

-I am my beloved and my beloved is mine

-the wicked witch is dead (Dana is retiring to Hawaii)

-You are my sunshine (I felt led to make a sunshine my HF profile photo and I thought he must have seen it when he sent me the song “you are my sunshine”, but he didn’t.)

-Wim Hof (not a big synchronicity but it kept coming up for me since July and he joined in August. I had been doing the cold showers last year and now restarted)

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So the question is: Am I willing (and able) to hold space while Paul regains coherence? Can I stand as a compassionate witness...neutral and not attached to the outcome...to allow him to do the inner work he needs to do. Can I just hold a field of LOVE for him and not fall into vampirism and consumptive modeling to try to meet my own physical-ego-3D [perceived] needs? 

I'm not sure if I'm strong enough. I'm not sure I'm ready. 

I have FEAR around falling into the metatronic pit of doom again ... this started with enemy patterning from vampirism.

We were genetic equals. Tyrone and I. And Paul and I. And we came here to do this work. "The only way out is through." That keeps coming to me this year. We had a re-set and now it's "go-time" again but it's heavy. The RESPONSIBILITY is heavy. It could be, should be, a JOY. 

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Dear Paul,

I surrender my expectations related to you. 

I surrender all forms of consumptive modeling related to you.
I surrender attachments.
I surrender mental bondage related to or that which is designed to ensnare you.

I will to stand by as a compassionate witness to your own evolution and efforts. I will to love you with my whole heart in purity and freedom.

The whole "twin flame" vs. "soul mate" thing is on the table and I am not sure what you are... but I definitely feel strongly we have work to do... well, we have been doing work and it looks like we'll continue... I surrender to what that looks like or unfolds into.

I surrender expectations for you moving here or anywhere. The Universe will direct you (and me). Right now it looks like the assignment is for me to come to Alaska... I'm a gridworker and apparently needed to support the grids....with you. I need to stop applying my understanding to US. Your understanding and mission will unfold for you - clarity will come as you keep seeking the truth vibration. 

I'm coming to amplify your gridpoint. I'm coming to stand in solidarity with you and allow Source energy to work through us to support tikkun olam. And that's it. One step at a time. And I've been told a couple times now that I need to "walk quietly"...so hopefully I can do that.

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12:52 Yesterday I said we need to "compromise our expectations", but today I realize I need to have ZERO expectations. No strings. JUST BE. And that's that. I AM a neutral compassionate witness and channel for Source energy to anchor frequencies of love and the truth vibration in the earth plane. When my negative ego gets involved it blocks the flow, shuts down the stream, and Carissa takes over. That girl has good intentions but she is not qualified to run the show. She thinks she is, but she isn't.

Carissa, you are doing the clearing work. You are the vessel. Your work is very important. But the "mind" part isn't your job. You don't really like it anyway...not actually. Oh darling, I love you so much!! I'm so grateful for you and your work!!!

How can I be in a relationship? I can't even take care of MY relationship that well yet. I'm not ready. 

But we're needed now. "We Are On Time" 

Just let God lead. "Walk Quietly"

So crazy, I didn't mention it in my voice note to myself... I guess I didn't connect the dots that I had just been talking to myself about Twin Flame vs Soul Mate and a couple minutes later Michelle pops out of her house and we got into a conversation about it. It's come up a couple times with different people... Lior randomly talked about it too. 

So what is Paul? I feel that we ARE kind of "Twin Flames"... in some ways... similar genetic makeup maybe. Similar mission. But also opposites in many. And he wants to embody the Divine Masculine and I the Divine Feminine. Though truly I want to embody the Divine Christos-Sophia, the UNITY FIELD that incorporates BOTH the divine masculine and divine feminine. And I want to unite with someone who has done the same. So that's a good point. He's not there yet. He's still stuck on the the "halves" thing. So is that Twin Flame? Or is it just part of his process and our process of learning ... could we be Monad-mates meant to birth the Avatar Union together? But I have to hold the field for my beloved as he is stepping up into our timeline where we do that. NOT as hero/savior, but as one who cherishes her beloved with her whole heart and longs for that union? 

Twin flame vs soul mate. Was Tyrone my twin flame? I feel in a way he was.... or maybe that's not even a thing... maybe it just comes back to being genetic equals and we could embody the HGU/Aeonic Pair template or not. I let my ego run the show with Tyrone and so did he and we blew each other up. 

The universe will guide us. I don't need to figure it out. This is a learning opportunity.  11/8 1:08.  I saw 11/8 11:08 and 11:11 too. (Among a zillion others!!) I feel very much in the flow. Feel into this.

As I do that I am also helping my beloved. I hold the field. We HAVE been united on certain planes...spiritual planes. Our architecture was knit together last week powerfully and so now we can feel and impact each other more deeply. Depending on Paul's level of HSP (unlikely to be strong... mine isn't very strong, but it is probably a little more-so than his)... he may recognize it or not. 

I know today he needs to tuck in to himself, put his head down, and work. And I need to honor that. Carissa's ego would like to feed on him so she would send a note... my real self which we need to train to lead knows to just be quiet and do my own work and processing. 

This is very beautiful and powerful work. Thank you God!! 11/8 1:11

My AG pick today was: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Nadial_Cord  which feels related to what we are upgrading or needs to be upgraded or corrected. I have been thinking lately about how when I broke my back in Vermont that that was an attack to damage my nadial capsule... it was right in that location of my back. I think my teams are repairing it, clearing out the spiders, healing it. Please heal Paul's too.

I started to look with my earth eyes at Paul again. That is not why I've been chosen. I've been chosen to rise above it. To know him and love him through those overlays which are rooted in trauma. I do that by holding neutral, NOT judging. Just loving. Period.

SO MUCH EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO. But this is what we are here to practice. 

We just need lots of space to process. I bet we are both like that. 
Turned song on = "Blessings"
11/8 1:18

This is my job. Thank you God. 

"hold on to the ones you love, keep them close to you. Hold on to this time we have, and let the light shine through." YOU couldn't be more supportive and clear. LOVE. 

Not by pushing/pulling. Not by forcing energy or interaction, but by HOLDING THE FIELD. 

And now "Hold on to me" comes on! Wow God! Thank you! <-- I should be doing backflips but YOU'RE helping me stay in stillpoint neutral.... what a miraculous life.

I can hold to God and to Paul energetically and in love....that's the only way. Through our hearts. He doesn't want the other... half of him does... that's the part that I've been responding to in ego too and I need to pull back on that and hold the field in spirit. 

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OL 123D Clearing and Release (Oct 2021 med) was a God-send. Powerful. Whoo. 
Spoke so much to me too. 
Observe the red flags. Listen to my heart. Stand strong my Spirit, connected to Source. I am Christ-Sophia I am. 

We'll let God lead. I can't imagine what's going on but I pray that I would hold strong in the TRUTH VIBRATION.

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Did I tell you that I recognized that I was supposed to BE PAUL'S SUNSHINE. I could infuse my being with the solar light and send it to him through our shared architecture to strengthen him. 

What do I do about the red flags? That is a word that they are using as an implant. Same with narcissism. Ugh.

7:21
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"You can't rush your healing"

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WHAT!?!! MIRACLE!! Another one to support me and my beloved!!! AHHHHH!! Today God brought Eliyana to consciousness to find out where she lived and find out if we could meet up. I connected and we plan to meet when I'm in Alaska and NOW I just saw her thread about Quantum Sexuality and it is her EXPERTISE!! She is going to help us!!! (me)

https://www.songsofwildgrace.com/

This is CRAZY. You can't make this life up. God is AMAZINGCRAZYGOOD!!! AHHHHHH!!!! Does Paul want to get healed too?!!

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again - "you can't rush your healing" (this song... second time in a couple hours)