Psychic Attack

"Swirl Me In Your Mind" - Ayla Nero

So much "psychic attack" around Paul. What are my "fears"?

Feeling like maybe he needs to date some other people to find out what he really wants because maybe I'm not it. (Then I'm perpetuating the attack that he is sustaining.... and putting him in harm's way - these people may be jabbed. Already did Charlotte pick up on that jab frequency in his lightbody? Did he pick up some of that (graphene or spike proteins or whatever) from someone else he slept with? 

I don't want to drink cum every day. I don't want to drink cum at all.

I want to be healthy and balanced - I just want to be with Paul. AHHHH. He's my guy. I know he is. He's my heart. He's my soul's counterpoint... my monadic counterpoint. The ONE. Designed to work with me to heal ourselves and our earth in LOVE.

Charlotte said I have a CHOICE, and I feel that. I want to choose the HIGHEST AND BEST and MOST IMPACTFUL timeline and service. I don't want to fear hard work. I am IN. God's will be done. 

"Losing My Religion" - Lauren Daigle

"No more performing out of fear. I'm trying to keep my conscience clear."

I've just got to LOVE Paul. He needs my confidence!!! But I need his. And that's okay. That's why it sucks that we aren't closer. But this is all perfect and divine too. And I can't have any attachment to outcome. GOD'S WILL BE DONE!!!

I've been an actor on the stage
Playing a role I have to play
I'm getting tired, it's safe to say
Living behind a masquerade

No more performing out of fear
I'm trying to keep my conscience clear
It all seems so insincere
I'd trade it all to meet You here

I'm losing my religion
I'm losing my religion

Light a match and watch it burn
To Your heart I will return
No one can love me like You do (no no no no no no)
So why would I want a substitute

I'm losing my religion
And finding something new
Cause I need something different
And different looks like You

_____

"Take It Slow" - Ayla Nero 
"Don't turn away from yourself by being like somebody else."

I don't believe in or want to try to seek bliss or connection through pain. That is a reversal. It is inorganic. God showed me. I don't want to hurt each other. I want to love, serve, wash, heal each other.

I don't want to drink cum. I want to pleasure and honor and love Paul's member (well, PAUL, through his pleasure center)...but this is such a big part of his understanding of intimacy. We need to work this out. 

I don't want to do a "bait and switch" with him. I want to be honest. I want to explore each other's bodies and limits - tantric sex, etc. is totally on the table - but PAIN is a distortion.

SO I wondered if he should be with these other people if he wants to keep exploring that because I know in my heart of hearts that I am his and he is mine. I just don't know if now is the time - I would rather wait for him to get that out of his system so we start on a firm foundation of LOVE. 

The problem is the whole jab agenda...it's possible he already has some frequencies from the vaccine in his body...which means I may too now... I was careless. I trust my body to heal it out...and his body to heal it out of him. BUT if he is with more women it will increase the possibility of further damage. Even if the women themselves haven't been jabbed, it's likely they are sleeping with other people who have... it's a clusterfuck. 

SO by encouraging that I am putting my beloved at risk...but I also need to LET GO and trust the Universe and the process. I release control. 

From Charlotte Session today:

Key Themes: Polarity Integration, genetic pathcutting, Thoth, Black sun, Base 10, artificial tree of life, RA 8D damage, sub-harmonic band corrections, Alaska black sun grid miasma, 8D gold leaf crown solar goddess, Mercury, 1D solar system stargate, Hermes/Thoth, clearing birth imprint distortions from Mercury in natal chart, red chakra crystal rotation to clear blockages, Thothian anti-HG red cube technology, 1D anti-HG timeline collapse, Indigo Emerald Order Maji grail lineages, 8D clock shield realignments within the cosmic clock movements sourcing from 14D pale gold shield in God Source fields, Ophiuchus, Golden gate, Hub architecture/Krystal KAthedral aligning to galactic center, planetary alignments within Magnum opus cycle and Solstice, Milky way 666 seal beast machine, Abbadon, Yahweh matrix, reversal four, HU6 dark matter matrix universal mother, dismantling AI architecture within galactic planes, impact for Thothian black sun hybrid genetics, Gold sun body stabilisation, Strengthening 4D-7D auric bodies within the gold sun body, Celestine fire, Brain matrix, brain chemistry, transits from astral drug consciousness traps, clear miasma 4D body, repair heart chakra damage, chakra seed knocked off vertical staff alignment, clear sabotage, SA tones, Egypt, Thoth, hermeticism timeline, Mother Arc transit of core soul identity from trauma timeline

____

PS. 12:17 11/30 - I talked it through with Paul last night...all these fears and attacks. We FaceTimed for 2.5 hours (not enough) but it was wonderful. He surprises me more and more with his wisdom, discernment, brilliance, humor, understanding... I keep not giving him enough credit. I'm sorry God.