Journal Entry

Here are some notes I wrote out while waiting on food at Buffalo Wild Wings last night:

I was fine with my floor decision - happy and relieved- until Jim & Dee expressed their feelings that I was making a big mistake- casting doubt on my decision. 

Thank you God for this opportunity to see how strongly others opinions affect me. To be point of jumping through many hoops to try to return the ones I have and spend more for others. I was going to do it but after thinking about it I’ve decided- twice today (wavered), that I’m going to stick with what I have. I tortured myself over that and am only questioning myself because of outside influences.

Text to Sophia… what I want to work on:

“Thank you so much and what a nice offer. I am definitely in the thick of it - trying to reclaim my personal power. I’d love prayers for alignment with truth, clarity, wisdom, and strength. How can I pray for you?”

8/8 Lions Gate 
I talked to Ryan and had a civil conversation but opted not to “talk” until maybe tomorrow.

I don’t want to be with him now. 
I want to find my own strength 
I am NOT a prostitute
I am healing my heart and sexual trauma and his demons are trying to ensnare me. I need to hold him at elbow’s length but also keep loving and praying for him. I did today.

It’s me and Moses. 
And God is taking good care of us all. 
My Pattern app was on point.

Today I've seen 7:55 and 8:55

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I GOT THE JOBBB !! Whoop! I start on Monday the 14th. Thank you God!

Johnston County

Auditorium Event Coordinator/Extension Program Technician

 

The Johnston County Cooperative Extension Office has an immediate opening for a full-time person to serve as the Auditorium Event Coordinator and Program Technician. Average hours expected to work per week may but should average 40 hours. This position manages facility needs during rental events at the Johnston County Agricultural Center auditorium. 

 

Duties and Responsibilities

 

This position is responsible for managing facility needs during rental events at the Johnston County Agricultural Center Auditorium. Rental events may occur during normal office hours but most often occur during nights and weekends. Duties will include opening and closing the Agricultural Center for after-hours events, addressing customer requests, coordination with the auditorium manager and other staff for the efficient operation of the facility, operating audio/video equipment during meetings and events, and ensuring that rental customers follow rules and regulations set forth by rental agreements. This portion represents approximately 50 percent of the job duties.

 

Additionally, the person in this position will act as a program technician supporting Extension programs in Johnston County including 4-H, Johnston County Extension Master Gardener Volunteers, and agricultural research on farms throughout the county. 

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Noteable today:

Michael came and helped me work on Moses' fence and lock the chickens out from under the smokehouse where they may be getting into crap they shouldn't, laying eggs, and finding a place to be broody. No thank you!

I had a horrible back pain come on and I could hardly breathe and it made me want to vomit.... lasted many hours. Feeling quite a bit better now. I kept trying to work through it but it was PAINFUL. Middle RIGHT back.... probably from shoveling mud yesterday. Also probably an activation.

Haven't heard from Ryan. Feeling weird about it and him. I guess I know we need to just be friends, but I miss him and we're so close to each other. I see him home so feel him ignoring me and it hurts. But it is what it is. He was the first person I told that I got the job. I haven't heard anything from him back. 

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9/10:54

Ryan came over and brought me dinner and some back massage tools and some advil and pepcid. We had a nice time...talked and laughed... we didn't talk about anything in particular. We hugged, didn't kiss. Just kept it light. It was nice. I'd like to be friends with him.

He is coming back tomorrow afternoon to work on the porch railings for insurance. 

Moses and I were just in the hammock and two deer... a Momma and her baby... were coming into the yard... maybe to eat pears? Moses was barking at them and eventually they ran away. But they were so beautiful. I love our home!