Love Ryan

Thank you, God, for such wonderful friends and encouragement in talking with Rosemary and Corie today. Reminder that Ryan needs SO MUCH LOVE!! His upbringing (alcoholic parents) left him with very low self-esteem, wiiiiide open, and control issues. There is a lot to unpack and I'm too tired at 8/1 11:28pm, but reminder that this night-time attacks are his pain body (unhealed trauma) that is almost demonic and it creates drama to feel alive and it pushes my buttons to upset me and feed on that energy. His ego needs to make me feel small ... to try to shame me to push me down so that it can feel larger because it lacks confidence so it creates it artificially... it's a whole thing... but he's broken ... and I'm broken... and our love can heal us.